Monday, October 30, 2006

Halloween RULES.

i made cookies that looked like FINGERS. and they were good.

Oh Dixie! The HORROR!!!

Christoph (once missing, now found) and his lovely wife, Allison.

Dry ice kicks ass. Thanks, Terry!

I don't know how, but Christoph got my dog to wear glasses. And she's HOT.

From left, Jesus H. Christ (the H is for Henry, right?), Dylan, Elliott and Mary Magdalene.

One of the many dolls that are hanging in our living room.

We're the cutest couple EVER.

Dustin's fine handiwork in our yard. (The creatures even move!)

My pet.

My sister and her boy. CLEVER KIDS!

Thursday, October 26, 2006

my "i'm happy it's nearly the weekend" song

Walk this Way by Run DMC.


that’s right. that’s the way i roll.


Monday, October 23, 2006

thanks for this, jege!

jege's recipe made me think about what goes into making a batch of me. so here goes.

in a plus-sized bowl, mix three cups of grudges with one and a half cup of spite, and blend until smooth. add three tablespoons of angst and two cups of personality disorders. sift together and pour in a cup of bitterness. in a separate bowl, add one cup of minced jealously and a dash of clown hatred. combine the two bowls into one and let chill in the freezer of discontent. for sixteen years.

thaw, and sprinkle on zesty wit for flavor. butter with anger toward creditors and cover the mixture with chopped self-esteem issues. place in a partially-broken baking dish and cook at 375 degrees (may use lower temperature for higher altitudes) for 45 minutes.

once cool, frost with icy passive-aggressiveness and for decoration, add a dollop
of whipped suspicion. serves 12.

the grim reaper takes it easy

song for monday

“Lil’ Boots” by Pet.


listen to it NOW.


Wednesday, October 18, 2006

what the...?

is there a medication i can take to make bad songs get out of my head? is the fact that there is a damn Creed song stuck in my head a medical condition?


Sunday, October 15, 2006

the latest addition to my tattoo family

so i have finally found a pattern that i like for my next tattoo. as many of you know, i have three tattoos currently. this is my first one, given to me from cory prough, and i keep it as a reminder that, although it is legal to get a tattoo when you are 18, it might not be a good idea, b/c being a taurus meant a WHOLE LOT to me when i was 18. now that i'm 31? yeah, not so much. so i keep it to teach my child that just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

(forgive the quality of that photo. it's not easy taking a photo of your left shoulder blade.)

this next one was the first one in minneapolis. i got it at saint sabrina's as a christmas gift from the boy.

then the next was a christmas gift from the boy again, and it's on my right forearm:

now, in staying with my theme of sewing back together/patching things up, here is the pattern (color yet undetermined with any certainty)of my coming tattoo:

i will have dustin take photos of the process... it'll be a memorable post.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Thursday morning song

"it's 3:23 in the morning and i can't fall back to sleep."

who is that by? oh wait! it's not a real song, it's ME, RIGHT NOW, AND I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO SLEEP.

Monday, October 09, 2006

my monday morning song

“lithium” by nirvana. (it’s an old school day.)


Sunday, October 08, 2006

my panic alarm is going off

what in the fuck is wrong with rush limbaugh? who in the hell, in their right mind, blames the victims???? is there no conscience, no accountability in this situation? oh wait, why would this situation be any different from any other situation of this administration, this administration that shirks accountability around every turn?

douchebags, all of 'em. i'm sickened by it. so ill. and do you think for a SECOND that if a democrat pulled this, if a democrat version of Hastert covered this up for so many goddamn years, they would not be burned at the stake??? and people want to compare clinton's situation to this? fine then, where the hell is ken starr and his bundles of paperwork on Foley?

a predator is a predator is a predator. oh, he never actually TOUCHED the pages that worked for him? oh, i guess it's totally okay then. yeah, that helps me sleep at night.

i'm trying my hand at youtube...

a movie that makes me weepy every time. no, seriously. it does.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

file under "things that piss me off"

brit hume is a rat bastard.

anyone who equates bill clinton's lewinsky deal with mark foley preying on 16 year olds is INSANE.

newt gingrich is a rat bastard.

from Fox News

WALLACE: But during all those months, they left Foley in the House Republican leadership. They left him as the head of the congressional caucus dealing with exploited children. No second thoughts about that?

GINGRICH: Well, you can have second thoughts about it, but I think, had they overly aggressively reacted to the initial round, they would have also been accused of gay bashing.

anyone who tries to equate preying on minors and homosexuality is INSANE.

from The Daily Show's Jon Stewart

"Equating a 52-year-old congressman who preys on 16-year-olds with being gay may be one reason the GOP is accused of gay bashing."

all that, and House won't have a new episode until Oct. 31. damn it.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

i'm the best auntie EVER...

because i teach my niece and nephews songs from Ren & Stimpy! I RULE!

hanging out at the sister's tonight, enjoying pizza, hilarious kids and a laptop 'puter. i know i keep saying this, but maybe, just maybe, in a few weeks, i'll be able to repair mine and i will be a blogging fiend once again!

i forgot how nice blogging is. i've gotten out of the habit b/c of my lack of laptop, but it's pretty... relaxing. i'm getting all the rubbish out of my head and it's whizzing away at a gajillion miles per hour into neverland and it's less for me to carry around. does that make sense?

i've also been thinking alot about my self worth. i have the tendency to compare myself to others -- i've always been that way and now at the age of 31, i just don't see that changing. but maybe what i can change is how i do the comparison. instead of seeing someone who is clearly better looking than i and thinking "boy, i wish i were as perfect as they are," i can think "boy, i'm maybe not that size six (or eight. or ten.) but i'm still a kickass person." and logically i can think that, but logic doesn't always play into it. it's hard to change how the mind processes things. and it's hard to let go of things that chew away at your brain, always waiting in there to POUNCE on you when you are feeling vulnerable. it's hard to just let that shit go. and i have to let that shit go. it's not fucking worth it. and it's hard to trust yourself. and it's hard to trust others. i don't want these small crappy things upsetting me to the point where i can't function.

my daughter is a lot like me in many ways. which is not rocket science, i know, but it's alarming seeing a version of yourself struggling with things that you yourself have not mastered. and though she does not have bpd like i do, she certainly does have a very, very sensitive nature. she really does not have many areas of grey in her emotions, and knowing what that is like, it's just tough to watch. she has the best heart. and when she loves someone/something, or enjoys something, she lights up. she is a blast. she loves so much and so intensely, it's amazing to see. but the flip side of that is tough. when she sees someone else in pain, in a problem, even just as simple as some playground teasing, she steps up to the plate and stands up for them. but it goes past that...she feels so badly for them that it's as though it's happening to her. and i know what that's like. and to watch her go through it, holy crap. it's not easy. feeling intense emotions can be great, but there's a dark side to all of it. and it's pretty dismal sometimes. and some people will just never understand that.

wow, that's been building up. enough of that nonsense.

my nephew is currently finding new and inventive ways to not go to bed. "i have to tell auntie kari something." "i'm thirsty." "my arm is broken and the bone is sticking out of the skin." those kids will say ANYTHING to stay up at night.

halloween is just around the corner and it has always been my favorite holiday. this year's costume choice is leaning more and more toward wednesday addams (truth). we might even have a party (truth). we will also hire clown and monkeys for entertainment (not true).

i really don't feel like working tomorrow. i mean, is there REALLY a day where i think, "gosh, know what's better than sleeping in late? WORKING! what's better than relaxing around the house in my pajamas, playing with the pets and watching really bad television? WORKING!"

that being said, i do like what i do, for the most part. i don't even think i've really written much about my job since beginning in may. i work for the in-store marketing department of target corporation. i am the preflight person for electronic production. and what in the hell does that mean? it means that, when the creative department's files for the store signs are designed and ready to put together for print, they come to me. i look them over and "preflight them," or check the photo resolution, the fonts, the layouts, etc. then i pass them along to the production folks and they build the final files and send them to the printers. some signs i'll build the finals files for, if i have time and people need help, but mostly i'm my own little island of work. and it's pretty cool going into a store and seeing stuff i'm seen on my computer screen. so yeah, any target you go to, chances are the signs you are looking at were touched by my manhands months ago.

so that's what i do. it's not a job that changes lives or makes the world a better place, but it's a decent job that i feel fairly lucky to have. it would be nice to have a job that makes a difference, but being abbey's mom falls under the category of "making the world a better place," because she rocks SO MUCH!

and i just got an "i lub you" from my nephew. (and if you mock his not quite four-year-old way of speech, i'll rip off your arms and beat you with them.)