poor dixie!

our puppy began doing some weird, fluid-coming-out-of-her-mouth gagging type thing tonight which was odd, but then followed by some seriously fast panting. so, after a trip to the vet we come to find that she has pneumonia. poor puppy! they gave her an uber-dose of antibiotic and we start pills for her tomorrow. the vet said she should be feeling better tomorrow, so we'll see.

oh, puppy!

i'd like to state that...

...only having work four days in the week is outstanding. i'm giddy that tomorrow is already wednesday. and here's a shout out to Taquito Benito on his big day of moving tomorrow! lift with your legs, not with your back, my friend!

tomorrow is also our first visit to the orthodontist for the kiddo. yes, that time is upon us. hopefully we can push it off for another year or so, but those types are pretty insistent and i buckle under peer pressure. (most pressure causes me to buckle, actually.)

i'm tired. and slightly queasy on account of the massive brownie i just ate... but it was SO GOOD!

i just remembered Mr. Food from KMOT in minot. his line was "ooh, it's so good..." and he said it after everything he could. i wonder if he's still on. anyone know? if you have info, offer it up...but for now i'll check out The Google.

holy CRAPBALLS! he has a site with a sound link on it! DIG IT!!!

yeah, that's the voice i want in my head as i'm drifting off to sleep...Mr. Food.



sleep well, kiddies.

a jaws-filled day

and THIS is really funny, but i can't embed it.

since i seemed to miss the first Jaws earlier today...

i'm gonna watch it RIGHT NOW! this is one shark-filled day, my friends. i just made brownies, ate a salad and put my feet up on the coffee table (i don't actually have an ottoman, so i improvise).

i'm considering jogging. why? i don't know. at all. something about it appeals to me, just the motion of going nowhere but burning off stress. yeah, my knees will probably implode with the force of an atomic bomb, but i think i can live with that.

it's 7 p.m. and i'm becoming melancholy over having to work tomorrow. i know everyone has to work. and i just have to get through one more month and then i've got some vacation coming in early july. and the month of may went by pretty quickly, so the beginning of my vacation, july 3, is just around the corner.

but i'm still melancholy. what can help break this melancholy mood? THE ORIGINAL JAWS MOVIE, THAT'S WHAT!

it may seem as though i didn't do a lot today. however i have done a few loads of laundry, picked up some groceries, showered, ummmmmm.... crap. not much accomplished.

but i'm learning a lot about shark behavior.

maybe not. but i'm learning a lot about the behavior of mechanical sharks in movie studio pools.

HOLY SHIT!

"that's some bad hat, harry" was just said by Chief Brody! THIS is where it comes from! to preface this, that line is spoken as a part of the production company after each House episode. hey! i've learned something today!

the last half hour of Jaws 2 and...*UPDATED*

...it's so awesome! the helicopter is about to tow the stranded teenagers to safety and the shark attacks the chopper...that is still tied to the stranded boat! DAMN! and there's the shark, spinning the boat around and around ... and then quiet..wait for it...BAM! get the kid to safety! good job saving that kid, anonymous teenage girl...who is about to have her legs chewed on...eek!

DAMN this rules.

*THIS JUST IN: Jaws III to start momentarily, with Jaws the Revenge to follow! YESSSS! Where are my 3-D glasses when i need them???*

what a great freaking quote!

"it's still there...."

"tina...what's still there?'

"sh...sh...sh...sh...SHARK!"

(Jaw 2, yo.)

i remember playing with this when i was really little:



i remember using the hook to fish stuff out of the shark's mouth and if you weren't too careful, SNAP! it was great.

i love, LOVE days off, and i'm even tempted to track down one of those Jaws toys.

guess who i'm really sick of?

i really liked lindsay lohan back in the Freaky Friday days. even in the Mean Girls days, even though it began her Tarted Up® phase.

that being said..... another car accident? and BIG SHOCK, suspected DUI and coke found on the scene? i'm a forgiving person, but for FUCK'S SAKE, i hope she goes to jail. know why? BECAUSE I NO LONGER HAVE THE TOLERANCE FOR WHINY-ASS BABY RICH GIRLS WHO ACT AS THOUGH THEY CAN DO WHAT THEY PLEASE WITH LITTLE TO NO CONSEQUENCE. having a set of funbags and a tight ass will only get you so far, lindsay.

you come from a broken home? WAH. no one understands the pressure you face? WAH.

you know what happens to me if i party so much that i can't go to work because of exhaustion? i get fired. know what happens to me if i get into one (let alone, SEVERAL car accidents)? my car is wrecked and i don't get another one. what happens if they find what might be cocaine on me? i got to fucking jail. AND lose my job. AND i won't see a license until the next century.

but you, you spoiled fucking brat, it's time someone sat you up and set you straight. everyone is tired of your shit. EVERYONE. so man the fuck up and get your shit together. if none of your friends will tell you to stop acting like a total fucking ass, then maybe the general public should.

end rant.

what i watch at 2 a.m.

james woods is pretty bad-ass in this movie.


it even co-stars a lesser baldwin!


and laura palmer!



so i did the late afternoon nap thing today...which explains why i'm wide-freaking awake at 2:07 a.m.

happiness defined: long weekend with no loss of wages. hurrah for paid holidays!

this from captain narcolepsy

in the words of john hughes not the director, "What kind of selection process do you think they use?"

something fantastic to read

jege said it all.

my cyst-less finger!

so remember when i had that cyst removed, and then i had those cool stitches in place? WELL today my finger looked a little...irritated. not irritated like i had left the milk out overnight but irritated like there was something wrong with it. then i push on it and prod it a little bit and a wee bit of stitching popped out of it! it was CRAZY. and i wanted to post a picture of it, but it's so thin and short that there's no way the image will turn out. so just imagine, if you will, a small, blue piece of plastic-like string working it's way out of my finger the way a piece of bread comes out of a toaster.
CRAZY.

i just saw a really clever commercial

it's for Absolute Vodka. it involves riots and the public fighting the military...but with PILLOWS. i kid you not. CLEVER. especially since booze commercials just show scantily clad women for the most part, yet this one shows PILLOW FIGHTS. what does it have to do with vodka? i'm not even sure. but i'm SOLD!

trent sticks it to the man!

this is a good read.

why my husband is a better person than i

because while he is watching this german-made documentary on kuwait and the damage it sustained after the gulf war (the one in the '90s), all i want to do is watch Jackass.

some days i don't have the energy for it. and i know i care about what is happening in this scary fucking world, but today i'm tired. today if i hear about war, i'll cry. dustin seems to have a better handle on his anger/frustration about all of this, b/c there is no way i could read/watch/listen to all he does on a daily basis and not just light myself on fire in front of the white house while wearing a Guy Fawkes mask. we don't want that, do we?

so that's why i can't do what he does.

and maybe that makes me a total lazy ass some days and makes him a better, more well-informed citizen than i.

the highlight of our night

"pain don't hurt."
"my way...or the highway."
"you're too stupid to have a good time."
"does a hobby horse have a wooden dick?"

courtesy of ROAD HOUSE!

a short weekend, a long day

today was one of those days in which plenty of work was done, but it all seems to be a blur. it was one of those days where i felt like i was only half there, with my mind in other places. actually, that isn't what it was like, that's exactly what it was...i was only half there. a variety of reasons, nothing i have the energy to go into right now.

i'm hungry but not enough to get up off the couch. and HEY! "the wedding singer" is on tv. see? one more reason not to leave this warm spot.

but now the dog is scratching at the door. so i have to let her out. which means i MUST MOVE OFF OF THE COUCH. damn it.

is there a rule...

that there is a sheryl crowe song in every diane lane movie? is there?

behold the awesome-ness of this movie!

SO glad we found this on the retroplex channel!

yes, i'm up late. why? probably because around 4 p.m. i thought it'd be a good idea to take a nap. and this nap went until 10 p.m.

it's gonna be a long night.

okay, THIS guy should be microwaved.

BASTARDO.

this man should be bitten. in half.

seriously. what a bat-shit crazy lunatic.

one thing you might not know about me

only 18 years until i'm 50!

other things that happened on may 9 besides my birth:

1868: Reno, Nevada, is founded

1887: Buffalo Bill Cody's Wild West Show opens in London.

1950: L. Ron Hubbard publishes his book on Dianetics.

hmm. scientology. i've been looking for a new way to look insane.

scenes from a party

sweet ellie-bear!


ellie-bear and her adoring parents.


dustin ridding the demons from ellie-bear's mind.


me and the sister. this is what we do sometimes.


oh, that terry and his shenanigans!


sing, sarah, SING!


me the Young MB.

Gap Unveils New "For Kids By Kids" Clothing Line

what was in his ear? *gagging*

i may never get past this.

i keep trying...

...to not drink coca-cola anymore. why? because it stacks on the calories. but it’s like crack. but not as bad as nicotine. oh yeah, i should update you that i’ve not smoked for 50 days, i think? it feels like A MILLION. (and yes, it still sucks.)

for your viewing (and listening) pleasure

a few words from Dustin

Ah, hell.

O.K. I need to vent. Perhaps I shouldn't be writing anything right now, because I'm so fucking pissed off this will surely be nothing but a belligerent rant.

So be it.

My hatred for Bush at this point simply knows no bounds. None. If he gets decapitated and his headless body is tossed in a dumpster somewhere, I will simply smile (and, should I happen to be eating a chili dog and a milkshake while passing said dumpster, I will toss them in and stroll along on my merry way).

The headlines right now read (I presume): BUSH CUTS OFF FUNDING FOR THE TROOPS, LEAVING THEM IN HARM’S WAY AND ENSURING A TERRORIST VICTORY!!!

(I know, I’m being silly: there’s not enough room for a headline that long.)

I think every media pundit has to start repeating on an hourly basis: "Bush actually DID vote for the Eleventy Seventy Gazillion -- BEFORE he voted AGAINST it!"

(The odds that this will happen? ... Free trip to "Club Gi™o" [as Rush would say] for the winning answer!)

O.K....

So more than 60% of the public (and surely 90+% of the world public) wants to see an end to the bloody and fruitless military occupation of Iraq. (Loons.) The majority in Congress decide to play make-believe for a little while and pretend that we actually live in a representative democracy, and so quickly pass a bill giving Bush even more money than he asked for to fund his obscene and imperial war of choice.

What does Bush do?

……..

O.K.: Here’s what he SHOULD have done:

BUSH: “Oh my god, I can’t thank you enough – I thought you were going to cut off funding, or … or worse! To IMPEACH me! I know my approval ratings have hovered at around 30-35% for the last couple years, and Dick’s at about 20%. I know this war is ridiculously unpopular, was launched on a flimsy pretext of lies and propaganda, has now lasted longer than our involvement in WWII with no end in sight, is draining our treasury, destroying our military, eroding what’s left of our confidence and has obliterated any support we may have once had on this planet… I know no sane person finds it credible that “faulty intelligence” led us into this war – and maybe I shouldn’t have given the Medal Of Freedom to the guy I constantly blame for the failure… But, but, but, … well, God Almighty! Just, thank you! Thank you! Please don’t investigate me! Please, please just keep the money flowin’ like this, and everything’ll be just fine!”…..

No. He doesn’t even condescend to the level of saying: “I appreciate that the Democrats have finally come around to realizing the significance of this War on Terror….” (Which is what I would have expected him to say.)

How naïve I am. No.

He fucking vetoes it.

Why?

Apparently he's an anti-American troop hater.

What's that?

Oh, that's not among the choices?

Oh, sorry, I FORGOT!: It's the DEMOCRATS who hate America and the troops.
And THAT'S why they want to bring them home to their families, and to hold accountable the elitist criminal chickenhawk thugs responsible for the troops BEING in the fucking war in the FIRST place! Clearly, they would like nothing more than for all our troops to be shot in the face and lit on fire while bleeding to death – nothing could be more apparent. And even if they actually DO want the troops to come home (which I highly doubt), it’s only because they want to shoot them in the face and/or strangle them to death THEMSELVES [before lighting them on fire] – so boundless is their hatred for our troops.

No, everyone knows how much Bush loves and "supports our troops." After all, he reminds us every chance he gets. (Golly, I wonder how many yellow ribbon magnets HE’S got on his limo??...)

He must have had some other reason...

It must have just been too much money -- those spend-thrift Democrats are picking the pocket of YOU, Mr. and Mrs. America! Hey! He didn't ask for THAT much! That's just outlandish, blowing up and/or lighting on fire THAT quantity of money in a crater in a desert 3000 miles away in order to liberate a people who want us to leave?! And NON-WHITE PEOPLE, at that??!! Stupid extravagant Democrats. It's the same old Tax and Spend (™) policy! ...
Oh, wait, BUSH is the one responsible for a projected $2 trillion decicit for his illegal and immoral war. (Or at the very least, without the further "emergency" funding, the current and uncontroversial figure is $400+ Billion…) And – oh, yeah! THAT'S right! It's Bush that is so competent and responsible with YOUR money that he has YET TO INCLUDE the funding for his half-assed war of aggression [on the one country in the region with no ties to terrorism] in the ACTUAL FEDERAL BUDGET! Oh yeah, I forgot about that! Well, he musta forgot. [Budget Schmudget – that’s what MY gut says!] THAT'S why he has to keep asking Congress every fucking year for another "Emergency Supplemental Spending Bill" – WHICH, if the Democrats even try to DEBATE or DISPUTE it — let alone raise questions about the real purpose being to steal from the poor and give to the rich oil-baron-and-weapons-contractor cronies of the Liar In Chief — then OF COURSE they don't "Support The Troops™”. ...

When the “Emergency Supplemental Iraq War Spending Bill of 2012” comes up for a vote, who do YOU think will vote against Our Troops? You guessed it. The DEMOCRATS. I’m willing to be my right nut on it. [And that’s my only nut, by the way.]

O.K. So, at this point not so much an "emergency," then. … That’s right, this is the fourth year running now… Hmm… Still… Hold on, now…..

Anyway. The point is, the Democrats hate America. They hate the flag, they hate baseball, they hate jazz, they hate Apple Pie, the DESPISE George Washington, and they HATE the troops. They love gay sex. Gays sex and baby killing: there’s nothing they love more. And, more importantly, they hate YOU, Mr. and Mrs. America! They think THEY know how to spend YOUR money better than YOU do — like for HELPING people!
Everyone knows that the way to HELP people — to LIBERATE them ¬— is to bomb them, destroy their country and its infrastructure, ignite and then help to escalate a bloody civil war and then -- when after 4 years that policy proves a dismal failure -- throw more MONEY on the fire!

Glad it’s not MY money.

O.K. ... There must be a rational explanation. (Or at least something that could be explained by the "common sense" reaction of a brain-dead silver-spoon loser alcoholic elitist frat boy spoiled brat in a cowboy costume smirking troglodyte ...)

Maybe the bill just took too damn long. ... No, I seem to remember Bush saying -- even BEFORE the bill was passed: "Pass this bill, send it to my desk, I'll veto it, and then you clowns can start all over again..."

Plus, the Democratic majority actually got their bill written and passed in far less time than the Republican-led Congress before…

If I didn’t know better [in my gut] what a Good God-Fearing man George was, I’d think this was all some sorta goddam manipulative political machinations and whatnot…

Hmmm...

Ah! I forgot! It must be because the bill is so filled with PORK! THAT’S it! You know: all that pork-barrel nonsense like funding the VA and Walter Reid Hospital and the victims of Hurricane Katrina, etc. etc. blah blah blah. Fuckin lazy con artists tryin ta blame their lack of housing and food on a “hurricane.” Sheesh. And even if it WAS a hurricane: SO WHAT?! Is that MY fault?

These Democrats in their goddamn Blue States are always trying to rip off the Federal government – to steal YOUR HARD-EARNED TAX DOLLARS! Those overpopulated Blue States are so over-represented, they make a mockery of the term “democracy”! One Man One Vote, I say! I mean, you don’t see those Red States feeding at the Federal Trough, now DO you. Hell no! Let’s get rid of this winner-take-all Electoral College system, and THEN we’ll see how Red this country is!!

Oh, wait…

What was I talking about?...

Oh, yeah: that war thing.

So just what’s in this so called “funding” bill, anyway? I mean, sure, there’s “funding” – IF you can even CALL it that. Again, it’s barely 120% of what was demanded.

But what’s the catch? …

Ah HA! THIS bill has the audacity to suggest that perpetual war might be undesirable! It even goes so far as to request that we try to SUCEED and END this war as soon as possible! Are you kidding me?

A vote for this bill sends Mixed Signals ™ -- signals such as, “We’re not sure if we have any power anymore, since we already voted to give it all away – and the guy we gave it all away to says that because we did that then now he can just do whatever he wants! And he’s the decider and we’re just ‘politicians’! WAAA!!” This bill even implies that one man – even if he is a prophet and knows and loves Jesus deeply -- does not have Sole Autonomy Over the World!

What, you think I’m making it up? No, seriously: get this: the bill calls for troops to be WITHDRAWN (if possible) by JULY! Or else, if that’s not feasible, then OCTOBER!!!

O.K., I’m exaggerating a little bit. It just says that, if possible, we should MAYBE THINK ABOUT TRYING TO BEGIN TO bring the troops home, provided that’s a viable option at that time. But, you know: I’m trying to make a point here. Cut me some slack.

And just what is that point?

Well, all you really need to know is this:

The Democrats want America to lose the war. They want the Terrorists to win. They support Al Qaeda, who supports Hezbollah. They want everybody to speak Arabic, just like those Saddam-supporting Al Qaeda-affiliated Iranians – who (incidentally) the Democrats would love to see destroy America with their stockpiles of nukes (made in Caracas, no doubt – and polished by North Korean satanists). They want babies to be killed and thrown in a garbage sack – NO, they want to place the babies in the sack while still alive and then smother them, and stomp on their heads! They hate God – no, they don’t even BELIEVE in God, so they don’t even HATE him! They do, however, hate Jesus, with a passion.

Most important of all, though (and I really CANNOT emphasize this enough): they want to RAISE YOUR TAXES.

I mean, JUST WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE??!!

Fortunately, you’re wise to these scoundrels. You just wait til ’08! Their slim majority is certain to be short-lived. We’re never goin back to the bad old days of “checks and balances,” “transparency,” “representation for the working class,” “oversight,” “progressive populist reforms,” OR “intelligent rational decision making”! Over my dead body. Hell, if I had MY way, we’d just suspend the stupid elections, declare Martial Law until the War On Terror ™ is over, and annoint Bush “Leader of The Realm.” … No, that doesn’t sound… “The Decider”! THAT’S what we’ll call ‘im.

I like that. “The Decider”……..