entering the third trimester....

... and i'm realizing the golden days of pregnancy are on their way out. those days where i had energy, those nights where i could sleep straight through --- GONE. i thought i've just been tired b/c we were out of town, but it's been a few days since our return and i can't sleep enough.

which, you know, is useful when you have packing to do. YES, we are moving! end o' february we enter suburb-ville, usa. if we could find that space here in s. minneapolis, i'd have rented it, but it just wasn't happening. so we'll be renting a house in a first-ring suburb and it's very lovely, not much more than we are paying now, and has a REAL FENCED BACKYARD! yes, it's true! that excites me on a number of levels... for instance, we have no back yard, which means if the dog needs to go out, we have to brave this cold fucking weather to do so. at the new place? we open the door to the deck (yes! a big deck!) and out she goes!

we were planning on just having abbey move into the basement bedroom in our current place b/c our cool landlord offered to put in an egress window... then it occurred to me that i felt like i was just pushing her off into the basement, giving her room to the baby. it just felt icky and i didn't want this transition of TWO new siblings withing two months (her stepmom is pregnant as well and is due two months after me) to be any harder than it already will be. that PLUS the fact that we have no storage room here. at all.

our new place is farther from her school, but really in the cities moving 10 miles away isn't that big of a deal as far as i'm concerned. plus it's right off of interstate, so it's a quick drive. and it's really close to dust's office and my office.

so we're happy with it. and i think it will help abbey's transition from only child to big sister a great deal. but yeah, the moving process still sucks. and i'm bribing every person i know with beer and snacks to help out.

dustin's still rockin' it with quitting smoking -- even with a slip here and there i have to remember that he's been a smoker since he was 18 (he's nearly 31 now) and this is his first real attempt at quitting -- so i'm super proud of him.

regarding polls of baby stuff: i think our plan is to go into the hospital with those three names, and although babies often grow into their names, i want to make sure that he LOOKS like an oscar, a sam or a simon. and maybe he'll not look like any of those. but it's good to have options.

it's interesting how people get SO worked up over how much they don't like a name. there have been a few that REALLY REALLY hate the name oscar. not just dislike it, but HATE it, and have no problem voicing that opinion. and now i'm beginning to see why people don't tell anyone their name choices.

he's kicking me right now. and i'm beginning to feel how big he is, simply b/c when he moves now, i feel it ALL THE WAY ACROSS my belly. it's nuts.

i spent some time sorting through abbey's bins o' toys that having been emptied since a few years ago... felt good, but now i feel way too accomplished for the day and will now spend the remainder of my night doing very little. hurrah for doing little!

be sure to vote!

at right you can see i've added a couple of polls regarding baby's birth date and some name options... if you have a moment, add your two cents.

good to be home.

it's always nice to catch up with people in ND, but it's really good to be home. we were able to meet up with my pa and my ma, which is always nice.

the plane ride to minot ruled, thanks to the dramamine. the ride home --- not so much. turbulent, on the edge of a winter storm hitting minot. i will never, EVER again fly without dramamine.

isn't that just lovely? however i do think the wind helped push up to minneapolis faster. and abbey always enjoys a plane ride.


and she was very impressed with the actual glass glasses in first class.


we met up with some friends at the Blue Rider... below you see noah.


and here is patrick, taking a picture of me, taking a picture.


and dustin and paul... will their hilarity never cease?

before this we went to visit bram's grave. mind you, none of us had been back there since the funeral in october, so we kind of knew where to look. KIND OF. i think bram was probably giggling hysterically at four idiots, wandering around a cemetery in the miserable fucking cold, looking for him. we made a few phone calls then then finally found it (thanks, Joe!). well, we found the wreath that was on top of it, but the snow and ice had mostly covered all of it, so we did our best to de-ice and de-snow it. it didn't seem right to leave it covered up and not able to be found. we tried several things, including kicking at the ice with our shoe heels and pouring Heet on it (which, by the way, WON'T light on fire if on snow)... finally dustin and patrick took turns thwacking away at it and finally it was uncovered. immediately The Cure pops into my head and i completely lose my shit. we're all freezing and my toes are killing me, but i just didn't want to leave.

the rest of the weekend we spent mostly at the farm... i think abbey is delighted that she's still young/small enough to get piggyback rides from dustin.

so there's the weekend.
today's plan: read some of bram's poetry (his mom kindly gave us a copy of his poetry book), weep and then watch some TV. in short, i just need to get some rest.

but yes, it's good to be home.

update on weekend in ND soon to come...

but tonight i'm too busy watching the state of the union address... i wonder if W. will get tongued by michelle bachmann again....

something i learned today...

... is something i already sort of knew: if you are pregnant and you think that scrambled eggs sound like a good idea, know that you are wrong. damn wrong.

also, dustin amuses me...

quick update...

dustin is still smoke-free! yay!

Cloverfield -- if you've not yet seen it, do so immediately. it's worth the full-price ticket. it's worth the panic attack you will have midway through the movie. for real. the more i think about it, the more i like it.

we're moving at the end of february! yes, it's to the 'burbs ("it's the pizza dude!"), HOWEVER the space is wonderful and will accommodate the pre-teen and the baby on the way quite nicely.

we're off to minot this coming thursday night... since we skipped the trip during christmas time, we'll spend a few days and nights there, catching up with friends and family. i know i'll need to go visit bram, but i'm just putting that out of my head right now or, as usual, i'll weep.

besides that.... not much else going on. we'll be playing Halo at the sister's tonight (by "we" i mean "other people who are better than i") and i'll probably find some junk food shortly. i got an assload of work finished up today, so i'm feeling fairly accomplished.

word.

props to the dusty bill....

... who is currently KICKING ASS at not smoking! i love you, husband.. you can do it! stick it to the tobacco man! make that man pay!

what i've learned these past four months...

... there's no timeline for getting over the loss of a best friend.

sweet lullabyes...

THIS rules.


as does THIS.

hell, most of the collection is fantastic. if you click on the album, you can hear samples, too. it's truly the way to start kids out right.

this makes everything feel better!

thanks, chris george!


KITTY WIGS!

WOW! more ranting!

i have a cube that has 1/2 walls on most of the sides.

behind me sits a row of salespeople. they have other salespeople who come to talk to them..

but they don't come to their actual cubes... no, they come and STAND IN MY CUBE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON and it makes me want to stab them with my pen.

MY CUBE! right BEHIND my chair, withing the confines of my cube. WHY? WHY?

and my cube is also the first one next to the main walkway, so for some reason, when they need to stop and talk to their salespeople, they SET THEIR CRAP on MY desk ... as if i am here to hold their shit? what?

fin.

i'm going to rant here for a moment.

i called the dr. office this morning b/c i'm so fucking sick-- i'm now on antibiotics in the hopes that it clears up this shit i have. and because i'm so sickly and sleep-deprived, everything that's been pissing me off this week is boiling to the surface, and i'm determined to get it out of my head before beginning work today.

1. just because you have a hybrid car does not give you the right to drive like a douchebag. no, i mean it. knock it the fuck off.

2. if you are able to shower, do your hair, put on makeup, AND buy a cup of starbucks, you have no fucking business taking up space in the waiting line of the urgent care clinic. go home.

3. if there is a long line at the pharmacy, maybe you want to pay for that bottle of yoohoo up at the front register and not waste my time.

4. people who come close to hitting me head-on because there is a car-lined street, learn to fucking drive.

fin.

so yeah, it's 3:38 a.m.....

... and i'm awaiting my cocktail of benadryl and sudafed to begin working before i even attempt a go at sleep again. i've had pregnancy rhinitis since september, and i'll tell you what — i'm ready for that chapter to be closed.

the abbey is beginning to get past the sick she had this week -- a rough go of it with a head cold and an ear infection, poor lass.

my midwife gave me a cough syrup that is laced with codeine -- something that i wasn't aware i could take during pregnancy. however i soon remembered that codeine is kind of shitty. it REALLY knocked me out... for about three hours. but then i woke up in the middle of the night, took some more... but then it only sacked me for about 1/2 hour. and it's not a good type of sleep -- it's all weirdy and groggy, like when you are sleeping in a car and even though you are technically asleep, you can still hear everything going on around you. so i'm skipping the cough syrup tonight (this morning).

i feel it's best at times likes these to put on some firefly, grab my crossword puzzle book and hope for sleep to come. that's my plan now. wish me luck — and sleep.

thanks for this, chris!

my friend chris linked to this video on youtube as a show of his optimism and good feeling about this new year, and i HAD to post it. you see, i had a VHS tape of sesame street that abbey used to watch all the time when she was just a wee tot, and seeing this again makes me all nostalgic.