crappy tv

is all around us. and yet i watch.
"then all we can do is pray" is a common line on "days of our lives." and it's the most absurd, engaging crap i've ever seen.
i just ate cheese. a good amount of cheese and it was very, very good.
i need to find a big bag of money.

sometimes when i'm stressed out over money, i sit and think about what i would do it i won the lottery (which would be more likely if i played, but that's beside the point). here's the list.

1. Pay off our house, the houses of my sisters, and, for fun, buy a house for other people i I know.
2. Pay off car, misc. debt, etc. Buy cars in my family for those who need them.
3. Pay off student loans of myself, dustin, family, friends, etc.
4. Set up college fund for the Abagail.
5. Donate money to causes I think worthy.
6. Open a really kick-ass movie theatre (much like suburban world on hennepin).
7. Open a really kick-ass theatre for dustin.
8. Make a film.
9. Start independent film company.
10. Hire a personal trainer.
11. Start a magazine.

hmm. now i just have to play. oh, and win. hmm. web poll: what would you folks do?

sunday, sch...you get the idea

saw "fahrenheit 911" last night. i think the shows were sold out from online sales for the most part, and the line just to get in and find a seat was wrapped around outside the theater -- pretty impressive, actually.
the movie itself had a very different feel from that of "bowling," simply b/c i think we (dust and myself) kind of knew what to expect, and with "bowling" we really weren't sure what was coming. however "911" was really good, and moore's presence was pretty understated -- not really seen throughout the film, but kept more as a voice over.
it showed some good contrasts -- a mother who, at first, was very encouraging about her children in the military b/c, coming from flint, it was a good option to have school paid for. then it showed the same mother after she lost her son in iraq, and at that point she was so angry at the government for sending her son over there under false pretenses. it showed soldiers who, at the beginning of the "conflict," were all gung-ho to kill the bad people and then later, one soldier said that if rumsfeld came over there, he'd ask him to resign. another soldier said he'd be willing to take jail time rather than serve more time in iraq.
i would agree with that.
there are some really hard to see images -- but not just of women and children maimed and killed in iraq, but also of our own soldiers, maimed, amputated, scarred and killed. the movie showed that our soldiers are victims our of government, too.
and after the movie, we all needed a stiff drink.

saturday, schmaturday

there is an estate sale of sorts about to happen next door, and i feel kind of like a predator waiting for it to happen. all the children and grandchildren are there, putting little squares of masking tape with little prices on everything -- their mother/grandmother, i think, is moving to a home or something like that. and i have every single intention of going over there to look for goodies, finds, etc, but i still feel like a bit of a vulture, circling overhead from my living room window, waiting for the magic 9 a.m. hour for my pounce.

but i'll probably find really cool stuff if i'm one of the first ones, right?

abbey's sleepover was a success, they were passed out from exhaustion by 11 p.m. and were up by 7, happily watching cartoons, playing barbies, eating peach yogurt (yoplait and dannon fruit at the bottom; they kept trading back and forth) and cinnamon & sugar toast.

alas, my stomach (intestinally speaking) has not fully recovered from out trip south of the border, nor has dustin's. a lot of pepto going on in my house. that shite is vile (esp. the aftertaste), but i'll do anything to ease my gutwrenching pain.

and yeah, gutwrenching is probably the most perfect description of aforementioned pain.

i just looked outside to check if the "sale today" sign is up yet. not yet. i fear i shall have to wait another 20 minutes...an eternity for those of us with instant gratification problems.

gut...wrenching...pain....
more....vile....pink....stuff....

friday schmiday

abster's friend is sleeping over. they are both quite content. and that leaves time for me to do important things, like work on all my political causes, build homes for poor and donate food to local shelters.

no wait, that's someone else. i'm simply blogging.

and i just heard a dog bark upstairs. no, that was a child, pretending to be a dog. that was fairly convincing.

going to roseville tomorrow night with dustin, sarah and andy, to see the new michael moore movie, Fahrenheit 911. i'm ready to join the masses in sticking it to teh man. as much as i can with my limited time, what, with all my fundraising and whatnot. (by "fundraising" i mean "tv consumption" and "blogging.")

ooh-- i see gene hackman, shelly winters and ernest borgnine, this can mean only one thing:

THE POSIEDON ADVENTURE.
but with leslie nielsen as a boat's captain? and it's not a parody movie? can anyone take him as a dramatic actor since "airplane" and countless naked gun movies?

did i spell posiedon correctly? and is this a true story? and is that the actor who played grandpa joe in willy wonka? i'm so filled with questions!
oh, it's totally grandpa joe. i've seen the last 1/4 of this movie, so really i only need to watch a the first 3/4 and then i can change the channel. man, that's a lot of time to devote to this endeavor.

oh, and gene hackman is a damn reverend. a reverend like macgyver, actually. fasioning a ladder out of a metal christmas tree? a rescue trampoline out of tapestry? that's skill, folks. that's showmanship.

hats off to showmanship.

links for all to enjoy.

a lovely read indeed by miss Esther Wilberforce-Packard... a not-to-be-missed read.
unless you are gagged and duct-taped to a chair, in which case, read at your earliest convenience.
and i'll have my arse kicked repeatedly if i don't link to the site belonging to one joe mammy.
and the site belonging to lovely platypus man is a fine read. be sure to check out the cadaver politik at the bottom of the page.
and for those of you who know the great larry, he's got a nice daily read, and plenty of links to former minotians. now onto other things....

my child is really finding her own way in the english language. she's into the phrase "personal."
"My personal space."
"My personal granola bar."
"My personal foot wart."

this is my personal blog. and now i heard a "woo hoo!" from my personal daughter. she is now watching back-to-back episodes of her personal "Full House." now i'm in my personal hell.

speaking of personal hell, i just read that mary-kate has been put into rehab for anorexia. you have to feel badly a little bit for her, but good thing she is a multi-millionaire, b/c then she can afford the necessary treatment.
and i can't have my teeth cleaned...damn the insurance industry.

and props to kerry for speaking out against the supreme court's ruling for the damnable HMOs. welcome to hell, keep your hands inside the windows.

and on the topic of Full House (my personal torment)... it's Kimmy's birthday and DJ already had plans to celebrate her six-month anniversary with her boyfriend! nooooo! why god, why???

six-month anniversaries. remember, back in the day, when we (by "we," i mean mostly "girls") would keep track to the damn hour of that first time we got a note from someone, danced with someone, kissed someone, etc etc....?

how long have i been with dustin?..........
four years, give or take........ and when, once you are grown up, do you start "counting?" the first "i love you" you utter, or the first "i love you" that you really know you mean? the first sex? the first time you stop referring to it as just sex? when, i ask, when?

let's take a survey (of the six people who are reading this...)

At What Point Do You Begin Counting?
let's all take a moment and share some input...

Top 10 rock bodies, indeed...

no, not my top ten list. i'm watching vh1 and it's showing the top 10 rock bodies. i guess no. 10 is kylie monogue. it's as though no one recalls the locomotion and how horrible it really was. can a person really recover from that? apparently in austrailia, a person sure can.

"i walk around in stilettos all day. that's a workout!"--kylie

i feel the same way. (blech...)

i think i want a personal trainer for christmas. mom, dad, you reading this? a personal trainer!

number 8 is nick lachey. i like watching the newlyweds. abbey says "mom, let's watch the show with the stupid people." and so we watch. and she is amused with jessica's expelling gas. a guarantee in nearly every episode.

oh crap. i need to stop watching this.

i think dustin and i are going to see "the stepford wives" tonight, despite what critics and columnists have said. screw 'em, that's what i say!

now i've turned to mtv. yeah, that's much better than rock hard bodies, right? it's boiling point: if people put up with ridiculous shit for long enough, they get 100 clams. i'm pretty patient and am willing to have strangers walk all over me, so i'd be able to get that 100 easy.

more ruins. pretty cool to look at. horribly hot to visit. 

this is facing west from our hotel room balcony. 

this is how excited i am that our flight from mexico was delayed by a half hour... 

he's shiny b/c it's 2000 percent humidity in cancun. 

dust and i in the hotel lounge...like his shirt? 

the ruins at del ray, with the hilton in the background. 

me and kara during day one of cancun. she's tough. she smokes a pack at a time. 

awaiting our flight at the cancun airport. 

a new day, a new template

isn't this the most horrific color you've ever seen? a bottle of pepto barfed up onto the page. nice.
a dear friend of mine has begun a blog at www.topicdrift.blogspot.com. you should look. it's a dandy read.
just dandy!
we have a bird's nest in a hanging plant on our front porch. in it you will find what appears to be five baby birds. our screen door knocked into the hanging plant and knocked it to the ground. the little birds are fine and there were only two or three that were tossed out from their nest -- and they were very still, sort of just hanging in the small leaves of the plant -- but i picked them up, one by one, and it was actually pretty tempting to just take one. but any one of our four cats would have eaten the damn thing, so back in the nest it went.
that's one hell of a run-on sentence.

we are preparing for our trip to cancun. we leave very very a.m. on wednesday and i'm packed for the most part. swimsuit shopping was one thing i would have like to avoid for an 8th year in a row, however the idea of traipsing in the cancun sand with boxers and a wifebeater on didn't do too much for me.

and how is my lose 50 -- i mean, lost 30 by age 30 plan going?
hmm.
i guess i can say that i've started drinking the new coke to work toward that goal. have you tried new coke?
COCA-COLA C2 (product placement) is said to have half the carbs of regular coke.
and i'm not jumping on the scary atkins bandwagon, but cutting out sugar a little bit couldn't hurt.
but how does it taste, you ask?
better than diet coke. not as good as regular coke. it doesn't have that nice familiar burn that the first drink of a coke has. i miss the burn. but this will do.

i should sleep. i should have dinner. i should watch tv. i should sleep. i can't decide.
i should make sleep my friend. too much to do tomorrow.
perhaps the next post will be from
South of the Border TM. it just might be.

that time of year again

fireworks are no longer illegal in minnesota. that's been the way for a year or so now, right? so i guess that means that every damn person in my neighborhood who can muster up a buck or two and just doesn't have the patience to wait a damn month can irritate me to no end. shite.
am i being a stodgy old lady? i don't know anymore. i just know that i fucking hate fireworks and firecrackers going off down my block for no other reason than THEY HAVE THEM. it makes me want to yell obscenities out my window but that could just lead to no good whatsoever.

okay. time for movie with child. hoping the feel good hit abbey has picked out, "Annie," will quiet my anger. (unlikely, no?)

grrrr.....

ever just in an bad mood for really no reason whatsoever? things that would not ordinarily make you pissy end up doing that at the drop of a hat?
the microwave that beeps constantly when its finished, reminding you that yes, your tea is warmed, you must have forgotten about it, you stupid fuck, therefore i will beep every twenty seconds for the next ten fucking minutes.
i feel like saying fuck a lot.
i'm a bad person today and i'm--------------and it's STILL BEEPING! i may not get my tea out of spite, damn the machine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe i just need a cigarette. grrr..

here's dustin's brother, shane, and his wife, kara -- a couple of the people joining us on our excursion to the south of the border. 

a born note-writer

my daughter has a new thing. she'll ask a question. i'll respond (and, in many cases, answer with a "no"). she'll then write the question in pretty cursive on a piece of paper, as to "sweeten the deal."
this time she asked for plain computer paper. i said "well, here's a notebook filled with blank paper."
what did she do?
she wrote on a piece of notebook paper, in very pretty cursive, "Please Can I Have Blank Paper?"

in the battle of wits, i'm not sure who's ahead.

one day she wrote me a note to quit bugging her. and she signed it "john wilkes booth."
(i can only assume they were discussing presidents or she's losing her mind.)

i dyed the hair tonight. "bright black," it's called. basically it's black but, when the light hits is just so, there is the blue square like veronica in the archie comics.

getting ready for the trip to mexico with the hansen family. should be interesting and fun -- not that i tan, am able to swim or enjoy extreme heat/humidity, but vacation is always a good time, esp. with the hansen kids. (i'm assuming you know i'm referring to dustin's family and not the perpetrators of the "Mmm Bop" song.)

the latest written question? "When can i get a cell phone?"

How many Mmms are in the title of that song, anyhow?
I just checked. Not surprisingly, I couldn't find that song on their official site. On a fan site however, my three-M title was correct.

time to make child sleep. for the next 12 hours, hopefully.

helmet head

"your hair looks like a helmet"

abagail was right. my hair did -- and does -- look like a helmet. the sad part of getting a great haircut? eventually it molds itself to your noggin, thus providing a helmet effect.

where do i go from here? that's a question as old as time. (not that it always pertains to hair, but it certainly can.)

i think this blog has been seriously lacking in hair speak. my friend sarah is also in a similar predicament. (not the helmet hair thing, but she too was wondering where to go with the hair.)

and it is definitely bizarre how the hair thing is such a big deal. because really, it's not. at all. AT ALL.

and it grows. and i cut it. and it grows. and i cut it. and the cycle will continue until i'm six feet under.

but still it burdens me.

i'm so, so lame.

an ice age?

just saw the movie "the day after tomorrow."
good campy fun.
and i'm very tired from riding the emotional rollercoaster that a
SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER HIT(TM) offers.
dustin has just acquired a Mac G5 and it's quite lovely. should be hearing some new music from him fairly soon, i should think.
currently he is on the porch, smoking cigarettes and drinking a little bit of the sauce with a neighborhood fellow and i think they are discussing/debating the idea of innovation vs. invention.
myself?
it's all i can do not to turn on Three's Company reruns and veg out.
i'm a little simple.
we have a hanging flower pot on our porch, and inside said flowerpot there sits a bird nest with some baby birds in it. interesting to look at and, if you happen to move it at night, the mother bird flies out and is hysterically flapping her wings and i, for a brief moment, feared for my safety. specifically, my eyes. i had this horrific image of a bird pecking out my eyes in defense of her babies.
to defend my daughter, i would not be above eye pecking, either.
and now i'm typing with my eyes shut b/c im' nso physically tired. and now i hear the conversation on the deck keep on the innovation topic and i think to myself, "perhaps now its time to go to sleep."
and so it is.

working out....

...SUCKS ASS.
and i wish it didn't. but it does. i stepped on that damn machine and said "okay, a half hour should be fine! it will go so quickly! i love exercise! i love getting in shape!"

11 minutes later...

"i hate my life! i need a cigarette! i need better shoes! it's too hot in here! full house is on and its eating my soul! it's 5 a.m....why am i awake?"

so yeah. day 1: not so successful. i'm unusually edgy. okay, maybe not unusually. just edgy. i'll bet it's because i woke up at THREE A.M. and couldn't fall back to sleep. shite.

so tired that my eyes hurt. that's no good. 1 hour and 45 minutes until i take the child to school. maybe after that, i will sleep. hopefully....

i kind of like the idea of jogging: something that is good for you AND masochistic at the same time. i might just be crazy enough to try it.

so....groggy....

new medication is good.
grogginess as a result? not so good.

but it is important to be adequately drugged.
an idea of where my mind is at: complete contentment with watching "billy madison."
really.
no, really.

was out shopping today. saw one too many kids with rat tail hair styles. remember that atrocity? well it is still being allowed! society has officially learned NOTHING.

and all weddings include a little bit of bottle playing. myself and amy lein put together a little something...good stuff. 

emily lein and dylan were married a couple weekends ago -- aren't they lovely?