a few moments in the basement

well, we heard a bit o' the tornado warning sirens this evening, so we spent a few minutes in the basement and now we're back above ground. it's an interesting perspective for me to have a child who is afraid of storms -- as much as i was when i was her age. by the time i had abbey i was a big fan of thunderstorms, so it's not as though she has grown up, watching me panic about it.

i remember the first storm that i actually did not vomit from fear -- it was 7th grade maybe (can't recall for certain, i might need amycita's help on this one) and i was sleeping over at my best friend amy's house. we had to go in the basement b/c the sirens went off and, in north dakota, sirens only went off in the event a funnel was spotted. well down in the basement we hung out and ate suddenly salad with mixed with crab, something her mom had whipped up earlier that evening. and i was trying so hard to be cool and not panic that i guess i just started to enjoy myself. thanks for that, amycita!

i even remember how severe that storm was -- the next day we heard that there were a total of 7 funnels around the minot area and a tree in my parent's backyard was broken in half due to a lightening strike.

and as a slight tangent, i have tornado dreams about once a week. i'm in a big room which resembles a community type room at my grandparent's apartment complex -- only the walls are made of glass and there are tornadoes dropping out of the sky all over the place. and i can look up and see them swiriling and starting to form. i never dream i'm injured or that any of the glass walls even break, it's just this sense of what COULD happen. the walls COULD shatter and slice me into 17,000 pieces. the tornadoes COULD go on forever and ever. i'm just waiting, expectantly, for the worst to happen.

i remember being so afraid when i was little -- i don't recall many daytime tornado warnings in minot, mostly middle of the night ones until i got much older. so there's that whole "can't see what might be chasing and could destroy your entire life" thing.

and ever since that night at amy's house, if the sirens would go off while i was sleeping, i somehow would wake up a minute or two before the sirens, kind of like waking up right before an alarm clock. i have no explanation for that.

what a wordy post thus far. and i might just keep going, as it will make up for the fact that my recent posts have been largely photo-dependent.

had a bad head day yesterday. i could blame many things or i could blame nothing, as there need not be anything in particular to bring it on. i guess what throws me off and makes it even harder is that i spend most of my days under the illusion that i have it all under control. then days like yesterday morning happen and i realize that i'm controlling only two things (this is for you joe mammy) - jack and shit. jack left town.

the kiddo is delighted with her room. she called me at work today when she first saw it and she said it was "awesome."

me: do you like it?
her: you bet i do!

(this is her new phrase, which came into use after her short-lived "you betcha!" phase.)

tomorrow may prove to be a hectic day. we'll see.

for any of you on the gulf coast --- take care of yourselves. get out of harm's way. i hear that there is a nice ranch in crawford to visit...