bloggin from the road

(although i'm back in st. paul now, here is my post from yesterday. that wasn't actually posted until today. you with me?)

bloggin' from the road, part II

sunday, dec. 25, 11:20 a.m.

we are nearing minot at this point after eating our weight in all sorts of goodies at my dad's place. (song just played: and all that could have been. song now starting: love song)

another slogan for north dakota, but more minot-based:

"Minot, ND: You'll never wish for a faster death!"

"Minot, ND: The place to be....if you hate yourself!"

"Why not Minot? Where do I start?"

acquired all sorts of goodies from dad and others -- as domestic as this may seem (and we know how i work against that), i am REALLY excited about the Kitchen Aid food processor. why? because i know the torment of crushing graham crackers by hand (and spoon...and fork...) in an effort to make a crust for bars. i mean, my god! they are freakin' crackers! they are just formed crumbs! why must getting them back to crumb state so difficult? and then i can make guacamole and stuff like that -- stuff that i would otherwise just buy and it would be crappy. among many dvds received i also aqcquired NICK AND JESSICA: SEASONS 2 AND 3 -- some people watch "Survivor," some watch "The Biggest Loser." me? i choose mtv reality crap. my guilty pleasure, from mattel.

(now on: you're beautiful by james blunt)

i am v. anxious about the interview/spending time in the office with staff thing on tuesday. i've made it past the "first date," now i need to convince them that i'm good to keep it going.

so general question: i wore a grey skirt and black shirt to interview 1...what next? something a little bit less businessy? or more of the same? hmm...may need to hit the after-cmas sales (because i like being assaulted by angry gift-returners).

38 miles to minot. the sinking feeling has begun.

i've been going through an interesting range of emotions. for a long time i pretty much shut off emotions like this (paraphrased from a friend, if we didn't shut ourselves off, we would start screaming and never stop), but lately i've opened right up. which can lead to AMAZING happiness and, at the same time, heartbreaking melancholy.

minot, even for a few hours, will be interesting.

i just promised (now playing: hold on by sarah mclachlan) kiddo that i would play our car game with her. basically it is us taking turns thinking of an actor/actress and the other person has to ask questions to figure out who it is. and i'll tell you what -- i may be the master at names, but she has totally schooled me on the new generation of actors-- kids from "Charlie," "Narnia," etc.

onto the game.

10:26 p.m. dec. 25
now playing: the blower's daughter by damien rice
i'm riding the empire builder!
okay, i'm not riding it. i'm sitting on it. still in minot. close to an hour later than it should have left. and i'm really, really hoping this laptop's battery lasts as long as i would like it to. that would approximately be long enough to do some writing while listening to music, and then watch a movie. or two. or, better yet, watch some episodes of "newlyweds," compliments of my dad.

nick and jessica=definition of guilty pleasure.

the train takes a long time to move along, true. however you can't beat the leg room and the fact that i can basically sleep the entire way home.

home is an interesting word. not word -- idea. until my family completely left minot, i would still catch myself saying "home" about it. "we are going home for christmas," i would say, even after having purchased our house in st. paul. today we arrived in minot and abbey made the comment "i feel like i'm home." i had no way to identify with what she was saying. at all. (now playing: nin's closer)

in fact, minot makes me slightly sick to the stomach.. i'm sad that i won't get to see more people before leaving here, i'm sad that dustin, while being sickly, has the entire drive to himself on tuesday. however i'm not sad about leaving this town. in fact, i don't feel too drawn to coming back. maybe once all of your relatives (in-laws notwithstanding) vacate a place, any appeal the place ever had diminishes to zero. that is minot to me. a place i grew up, a place my family lived in, a place that has some great memories but a place that also represents the vileness that my life has seen. fuck minot, that's what i say.

10:34 and the train is starting to move along. that's my cue to sleep.