my year in review...

... let's see.

i'm just thinking about how fast time goes. it seems to crawl at times, and then suddenly it's dec. 31 and i'm faced with looking back at the 364 days prior to this one.

i feel like i was on autopilot during my duration at target, so everything up to leaving there is kind of a blur, for the exception of abbey-related events, birthdays, weddings and anniversaries. but for a general overview...

i found out i was pregnant this past year and have just a few days over four months until my due date.

i watched a lot of movies.

i quit smoking in march and will never smoke again.

i've discovered the joy of Family Guy.

my wonderful baby sister got married, and her husband is an amazing fella.

i got a job where i have more time to spend with my lovely kiddo and less time in an office cubicle.

i lost a best friend and i miss him every single day.

i have the most amazing friends and family in the world, and i hope that you all know how much i love you, how lost i'd be without you. even if you don't hear it from me everyday, please know that it's true.

i've cried more than i ever thought was possible.

i've eaten more mcdonald's cheeseburgers than i ever thought was possible. (damn it... one sounds good right now.)

.....

i guess that's what i've got for now. maybe i'll be more introspective after i eat my weight in cheesecake tonight.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

usually...

... dixie takes up half of our couch as her own personal bed. (see below... 1/2 couch taken by dog. under a blanket. but still really cute.)


and, if you have ever been around beagle-type dogs, you know that their fur actually weaves itself into couch cover fibers, thus making the thrice-daily lint rolling quite tedious.

this has all changed.

today i went to target, and although i usually skip the christmas decor aisle -- even when 75% off, as it was today -- i wanted to see if there were any chocolate goodies. lo and behold, there was a holiday dog bed... 75% off. and those beds are usually a pretty penny, which is why i hadn't bothered to buy one before. i brought it home.

she loves, LOVES it. it's as big as a couch cushion and really squishy and she prefers it to the couch.

all this happiness for only $8. nice.

we've also taken down our christmas tree -- and by removing this tree, we've realized that it takes up roughly 8,000 sq. feet of space in our living room. might need a smaller one next year.

saw The Orphanage today... if you have a way to get to it, do so. for real. very very good.

rented: Superbad (KICK ASS!), Jackass 2.5 (okay, but not their best work), and Halloween (Rob Zombie version... sorry Benito, had to see for myself).

at the beginning of Halloween i said outloud to dustin, "i'm going to try really hard to look at this as a completely separate movie, NOT a remake." i love the original. love it.

so did i love this as a completely separate movie? feh. it was fine. not great. *SPOILER ALERT* i guess i've seen so many movies where serial killers and psychopaths become that way b/c of their troubled childhood, i'd be more impressed by someone with a totally normal childhood who is just purely evil, if showing the childhood is necessary at all. it's scarier if they are just that way, not if they are "made" that way by their home life and school tauntings.

on one hand, the actor who played the grown-up michael myers in this new version was great b/c he was HUGE. seriously, a big, big man. i totally bought that this guy COULD take a lickin', appear to be dead, then be right back to kick more ass and slit more throats.

on the other hand (and here is where i am comparing it to the original), the first myers wasn't a tiny man or anything -- probably average height -- and maybe it was easy to believe that he was not just evil, but SUPER evil b/c no man of average height/weight could take that many bullets/stabbing with knitting needles/falling out of windows, just to come back for more only moments later. kind of a draw, in my opinion.

but it's always nice to see malcolm mcdowell. and the guy who played the sheriff was the same actor who played the scary guy in Exorcist III.

and, as expected, rob put in his wife --- who had a chance to show some acting more in this than in zombie's previous movies --- but still showed some T&A.

tonight's agenda? maybe a crossword puzzle or two... watch the extras on the Superbad dvd... very little.

here's the updated version of "Kari's Bored With Her Hair... So Here's An Idea for Bangs!" this may happen tomorrow. thoughts?

opinion....

should i get my bangs cut like this? or does my cowlick make this cut impossible?

ahh, pregnancy.

in addition to no longer having any balance (this proved by my inability to step in a teensy bit of water on the floor without falling, banging my knee and cutting my hand), i also have the tendency to vomit on occasion. and when you vomit with enough force, you break blood vessels in your face.... see?


lovely, no? and at work today everyone kept asking me if i had some sort of face injury (punched, fallen, etc.) and i had the GLORY of telling them, "no, it's from vomiting in a violent manner."

awesome.

congratulations to.....

my friend andy, who got married today! we all expect some photos posted now, andrew...

the death march of two early deadline weeks in a row is coming to a close.... THANK CHRIST. seriously. the week off between shifts is nice, this is true.. HOWEVER the loss of three of the four days usually spent on building eight papers is not worth it. at all. very glad to get things back to normal.

the husband is a bit sickly today, so this weekend holds the promise of watching the two very very very bad movies my lovely sister got for me.... GIGLI and GLITTER!

(i actually tried to post pictures of the movie covers, but BLOGGER REFUSED! even blogger knows they suck!)

wish me luck on surviving these films.... *gagging*

a long day, a long night to come, a longer day tomorrow

flew the abbers to meet up with her dad at her grandparents this morning... flew back to minneapolis a couple of hours later.

and after having several days in a row of bulk abbey time, i miss my girl a lot.

i am home now, awaiting files to drop so that i may build five of my eight newspapers tonight.... and then i'll finish them up and build the other three tomorrow. the week off between shifts IS NOT worth this march of crazytown, i tell you.

but here's quote of the night:

"i'm glad i have a lot of grenades, otherwise i'd be dead now."

(dustin, playing the Medal of Honor i put in his stocking.)

a few photos from christmas eve....

with her scooter at her side, abbey enjoys her nintendo ds.

dustin opening his new coffeemaker (that hopefully won't leak water all over our counter like our old one does).

ahhh... smell it working!

i love my nano!

i didn't think dixie would notice if she didn't have any presents... guess i was wrong...

the holidays: the perfect time for snidecards.

i'm notoriously bad at sending out christmas cards. i'll buy the cards, i'll write in the cards... but i never actually send the cards. this went on for years... but NOT this year. no sir! so in lieu of sending all of you fine people cards (or rather, in lieu of writing in cards and having them sit on my bookshelf for the next six months), i present to you a snidecard never before seen...



... and to all a good night!

the calm before the storm...

my work schedule is great -- fantastic, actually. but when the holidays come around it means early deadlines, which means instead of four days of work for the eight papers, there is just about 24 hours. yeah. the papers should be smaller than normal, but it's still going to be crunch time between thursday at 6 p.m. and friday at 6 p.m.

blech.

i know i'll do fine, but i just really wish it were already 6 p.m. on friday and i'd just be DONE with it. oh, and we have the same thing next week on account of the new year holiday.

double blech.

but the overtime is nice. and the time off with abbers? THE BEST.

"sweet dreams....

.... and fine machines in pieces on the ground."

two months, brammy. and i know i'm not the only one who misses you and thinks about you everyday.

let's see if i can do this without breaking down...

i've been trying to blog my bram story. it won't be extensive and all-detail providing, but it will offer up a small picture of how i met bram and how he became one of my best friends.

i knew bram in high school and envied his ability to look however he wanted and say whatever he wanted without caring what others thought. we were friends, but not super close or anything. when i went away to college my dad introduced me to some new-fangled technology called "electronic mail," and eventually gave bram my email address. we began writing emails and, if you know bram, sometimes they would have many words, but mostly they would have one or two words. our favorites became "bastardo" and "assweepay," to sound vulgar and fancy at the same time.

i left moorhead state in march of 1994 and on my first night back in minot bram picked me up in that little yellow car. it smelled like a combination of peach potpourri (he had little scented pebbles in his ashtray) and stale cigarette smoke, and the floor of the car was covered -- COVERED with paper and trash.... which was comfortable to me, b/c i'm a slob. seriously. i'm sure we went to perkins that night b/c that's pretty much what anyone under the age of 21 did in minot... perkins all night, coffee, chain-smoking and writing.

hanging out with bram became and everyday habit. he was just always around. when my parents would leave town, they'd have him stay with me to make sure i'd be safe and not get into any trouble. basically we'd sit around and watch either "benny and joon" or "when harry met sally."

"when harry met sally" became "our" movie. we learned every line from watching it so damn much, and eventually just went back and forth whenever we sat at perkins. and when i think of perkins now, i remember how bram would laugh at me when i'd flick my cigarette. actually, it was more of a "THWACK." he'd giggle and then imitate me.

i would go out with a guy and bram would be there to pick up the pieces after it would ALWAYS fall to shit. there were two boys i dated around that time and he took to calling them "boy 1" and "boy 2," to show that they were BOYS, therefore not worthy of my time.

middle of the night road trips to fargo. paying "leap frog" with cars on the highway. buying cloves at one world in moorhead. watching PCU. tequila nights. spam nights (every night). sitting up late and not talking, just reading and listening to tori amos.

naturally we developed a crush on each other, but the timing never really seemed right... even when we were both single and wanted to make it work, it was like there was a little something in each of us that held us back.

i think there was a part of him that liked the crazy i offered. however the romantic notion of a relationship with someone who has some issues (for instance, the characters of Sam and Joon in Benny & Joon...) is much different than the reality of it. i was a mess. i was at the beginning 0f a very, very long road of brain shit and i never believed that i was good for bram and proved this to him and everyone else time and again. but in all that time, he never ONCE scolded me when he should have, he never once blamed me for anything, even if i deserved it. (okay, not holding up so well now...) he cared for me unconditionally and taught me so much.

years later i would apologize for my bad behavior and he simply said "it doesn't matter. it's all good."

he got me through a pregnancy at a relatively early age. he got me through a divorce. he got me through a near-break-up two years ago. and i just hope i gave to him a SLIVER of what he gave to me.

(i'm full-on sobbing now. i should have expected this.)

i'm so angry that he's gone. i'm so angry that his voicemail is the only way i'll hear him again. i'm so angry that i didn't try harder to get back to minot in august when he wanted me to meet up with him. i'm so angry that he won't get to hang out with my son.

but i'm so, SO lucky i knew him. that we emailed in 1993. i'm so lucky that he taught me to just be okay with who i was and who i became. i'm so lucky he knew my daughter and that she remembers him and loves him. i think we're all so fortunate for having him on this earth, albeit too short a time. i'm so glad he knew i was having a baby. i'm so grateful that he found the love of his life.

i know all of us want to be able to push a "redo" button and go back two months in time -- two months and one week, and call him and say "go to the doctor! now! immediately!" i know all of us have to remind ourselves that this is real.

i know that, at some point, i'll be able to talk about him and think about him for more than five minutes without sobbing. but i think that day is a long time off.

dude, i've been TAGGED!

so andy, upon returning to blogland, tagged me with “8 Randoms.”

The rules:
1. Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about himself or herself.
2. People who are tagged write a blog post about their own 8 random things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment and tell them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

well, here goes...
1. my favorite pregnancy food thus far is BACON. BACONY BACONY BACON.
2. i have four tattoos, and there's only one of them i plan on changing.
3. i love zombie movies. no seriously, i LOVE zombie movies.
4. i have a soft spot for Nick & Jessica's Newlyweds series.
5. i prefer the teletubbies over barney.
6. i don't have hate for wal-mart like i used to. i still think it has bad lighting and smells like chemicals, but i can shop there without loads of guilt... b/c ALL major discount/retail corporations are corrupt, even if it is trendy-cool to hate wal-mart. maybe i shop there b/c it IS trendy-cool to not shop there. hmm.
7. i hate putting away clean clothes after i wash them. it feels like a hassle.
8. i want to go to a salon and get a facial. i've never had one (unless you count when my mom sold mary kay cosmetics in the late '80s).

okay... who to tag???? i choose.... Dustin, Brian B., Jege, Sarah, Jason H., Jason W., Joe-Mammy and Joe K.! ready, set... GO!

my big task o' the day....

was to clean the bathroom and I DID IT!
now i can be completely lazy and feel no guilt. GO ME!

NOTE:

i want to see this. badly.

my recent purchase....

i bought pregnancy pants. and yes, there is a stretchy panel involved. actually, the panel goes ALL THE WAY AROUND the top part of the pants. so where there would normally be a button and belt loops? STRETCHY. stretchy goodness. (but they don't show the stretchy panel in the photo. and no, that's not a picture of me. i don't even have those shoes. nor are my nails that manicured.)

i'm also attempting to knit a blanket. i purchased circular knitting needles only to realize that they are tools of evil. i'm back to my regular needles... we'll see what happens (or who gets the needles in the eye first).

i'm sorting through the lovely bins o' baby stuff my sister passed along to me (thanks, aim!) -- it works well that it's mostly boy stuff and that we're actually having a boy. it's a TON of stuff for 12 months and later, so really i just have to acquire onesies. lots and lots of onesies, as the child will, no doubt, dirty at least six or seven per day. and i will have to acquire baby music as well.

and......

it's a boy!

photos from the homefront...

four out of five cats prefer sleeping on an ottoman.

what a fantastic face.

and look! she can even read!

did i say the ultrasound was next week?

why, i meant it's TOMORROW! THURSDAY! NOON!

so i shall update with any information pertaining to the fetus AND hopefully a photo AND... fingers crossed... if it's a boy or a girl!!!!!!

wheeeeeeeee!

today is my friday!

and because it's my friday, tonight i will watch movies -- namely "Waitress" and "Knocked Up." i was uber-efficient at work yesterday and this morning, so that means now i'm sorta just sittin' around until the last few stories are ready to be paginated.

i've discovered the most irritating pregnancy symptom thus far --- BLEEDING GUMS. that's right. usually when i brush my teeth they bleed for a variety of pregnancy-related reasons -- it's pretty common. however this morning i didn't have a chance to, so upon biting an apple on the way to work i felt a warm sensation in my mouth. that warm sensation? the pooling of blood. seriously. i looked vampiric. it was horrendous. i kept feeling around in my mouth to make sure i hadn't lost a tooth or something. nope, just my aggravated gum line compromised by the crisp apple.

too much information? oh come now, i've spoken of much worse things on this blog before. you should really expect it from me at this point.

i've still got my chronically stuffy/runny/sneezy nose that i've had since the get-go of this pregnancy and i'm fairly certain i've adequately grossed out everyone sitting by me when i blow my nose constantly. however they are sometimes very loud and i often hear things i wish i hadn't, so maybe this makes us even.

one week from tomorrow we'll know if it's a boy or a girl! hurrah!