stormy night ...

... and for as terrified of storms I used to be, it's astonishing to me that I now love the sound.

I remember watching clouds roll into Minot from the west, dreading the dark ones bc it meant once the temp dropped and it cooled slightly that the storms would start and down into the basement we'd go.

I would do weird little OCD type things to try to stave off any potential storms --- bc a 4th grader has that much control, right? bc god knows if i tore off a piece of paper towel and there was a little piece that hadn't come off where the perforation was, clearly I was at fault and a tornado would suck up my house as punishment.

I recall being so scared that I throw up in our basement when the sirens were going off. (keep in mind that unlike MN, sirens only went off in Minot when there was an actual tornado warning, not just a severe thunderstorm with tornadic potential.)

I even talked to my therapist about it (yes, a therapist at age 12, don't judge me) and I expected she would say something wise and insightful that would magically cure me. nope. not a bit.

around the end of 7th grade I slept over at my best friend amy's house, and that night was the night of several rounds of sirens.
her mom made some awesome pasta salad with imitation crab in it and for that was the first year I wasn't scared out of my mind.

in fact, that was the first night where I began waking up a minute or two before sirens began. like my brain was giving me a head start or something.

now here I am, being lulled to sleep by the thunder outside. I've come a long way. (now I'd like some pasta/crab salad.)

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