some days.

some days i have some bpd moments. i find myself with my defenses up, like my brain is telling me "be ready, something bad is coming. you need to protect yourself." it's not like a panic or anxiety attack, it's like i'm on alert for danger. i feel my the expression in my eyes harden, my jaw clench ... like i'm putting on this "don't fuck with me" face -- the expression you wear if you're walking alone at night and you want to look less vulnerable. i know we're all vulnerable in life, all the time, really. i just wish i knew what was triggering this nice little bout of crap.