fall chores

yes, the chores o' the season. how exciting that i not keep those chores all to myself! from washing the blankets to breaking out the space heater...well maybe those are the only chores i can think of. there it is that's it. blankets and a heater. so by making it sound like some sort of event -- "Fall Chores 2005!" -- i've made it more lame.

i don't really have the stereotypical seasonal changes for my life -- "Spring Cleaning" usually means "more crap in a box that i have to sort through or i might just throw it all out before the cat pees on it." but that sounds less charming than Spring Cleaning.


my thoughts are slightly jumbled at this somewhat late hour. i fell asleep putting the kiddo to sleep (children are mini heaters -- it happens easily)-- and have just woken up. right before i left work today i found out that i had screwed up on a couple of pages of a monthly newspaper that built. while it's nothing that will keep me up at night, it still bothers me that i was too busy to notice that, in the midst of switching ad A with ad B, i forgot to put in the B. basically one ad ran twice in the same paper, while one was left out completely. shite happens, i know, but it still sucks finding out that you are not the freakin' genius you once thought.

(pausing to recall when i once thought i was a freakin' genius...hmm)

ah well, for now i shall relax near the space heater and enjoy the warm air blown out that contrasts with the cold air seeping in through the windows. hmm. conditions in my room are ripe for a thunderstorm.

i heart you, craigslist!

a show of hands -- who loves craigslist?
i was introduced to this site by a co-worker and my quest for crap i don't need really began. i'm on there a few times a day and i always remember to log on first thing in the morning, just in case i can be the first one to find a great deal. meaning something free. you never know when you'll find the job listing of your dreams (unlikely but worth a shot) or an ipod for $50 (even less likely). but i did find a split boxpring for my king sized bed for no money whatsoever. here are some goodies that i don't need, don't want, but ohmigod, it's funny that they are even listed:

1. Beautiful Tiara. Never worn, $20.
2. Patriotic Leather Jacket (flag decoration), $75.
3. An American Hat. Dark blue with the American flag on it. (seller says he no longer has a need for this hat.) $4. (Patriotism is the new black, i think.)
4. Six unicorn figurines, $40.
5. Under employment: Attention College Cheerleaders... (we don't really need to know what THAT entails...) and this seques PERFECTLY into...
6. Penthouse and Playboy Collection, $62.
7. The AB Lounge 2, $70.
8. An ad under "Casual Encounters" noting the availability of a sperm donor. I'm guessing it's not for a fertility clinic, though...

there is also a Barter section -- if you need something, you can ask for it while offering up something on your part. For instance, one person on there right now wants to learn how to drive, and they are offering to help the willing party with learning Chinese.

so it's the damndest thing i've ever seen. no, that's not entirely true. the damndest thing i've ever seen was some kid on a bike flipping off a train crossing the tracks. that was funny.
but it comes close.

movie night

so i'm thinking about a couple of possibilities for this evening:
a. go to a movie ("exorcism of emily rose")
b. do some laundry
c. clean my living room
d. watch fox mulder take a bite out of that ice cream cone over and over again
e. watch fox mulder eat those sunflower seeds over and over again
f. wish like hell that i could be an ice cream cone or a sunflower seed

now, i could do b and c right before doing a. or i could continue doing d, e and f and just take momentary pauses to do b and c. but then i can't do a. what's a girl to do?

you down with CSP?

the good folks at CSP have spared some space for me again HERE. It's a little something I had on my mind whilst the painting project.

sweet, sweet x files.

enjoying the xfiles evening.
time at the shrink was well spent.
feeling a little bit numb.
that happens post-shrink sometimes.

one hell of a work day

okay, so i'm outside having a smoke during what has become a hellacious work day (when it should have been simple) and i saw a squirrel. my first thought was to move slowly away from the squirrel, as it was etched into my brain when i was young that all squirrels have rabies. instead i decided to move closer, b/c if it bit me, i'd be able to go home early today.

THAT'S the kind of work day it's been. a preference of rabies shots to work.

that's more like it.

Your hidden talent is writing Your hidden talent is writing. You have a unique way of viewing the world and are able to express your thoughts eloquently on the page. Some people might think that you are weird, but you are just the next Pulitzer prize winner. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

hmm.

don't blame me, i didn't invent the quiz.

You have a sexual hidden talent You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

now everyone knows my secret!

Your darkest secret is: You voted because Diddy told you to Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

quiz galaxy kinda rules.

You most resemble Marlon Brando You are very smart, and very talented, although you don’t really enjoy social company. You prefer to live alone, go to movies alone, cry alone in the corner... Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

What is your epitaph?

Props to the dandy Joe Mammy for this link.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

nice.

monday monday monday

so tomorrow is monday. as i'm sure you are all aware of. and for some of you it's already monday.
point being, it's shrink day, and i'm nervous.
why?
well i can always tell when things are shaky. and things are definitely shaky is shakey spelled with an e? shakey? no, i like shaky better.
anyhow, i digress.
i've not been there for a few weeks and i kind of feel like by going there i'm opening up a pandora's box o' emotions that have been bottled up and i don't feel mentally equipped to handle them. crap.
i'm so tired of being this way. and i know it wreaks havoc on the people around me, so that is frustrating as well.
oy vey.
on a completely unrelated note, i love sitting on my porch when it's raining otuside. there is a nice breeze and at some point i need to acquire some sort of swinging apparatus for the porch. a swing, a hammock, something. i've been saying that for months, but i really do mean it.

"horses horses horses horses"

ahhhh, my day of total laziness.
i've finished "you've got mail." i've spent a few hours in bed watching a variety of "x files" episodes. what is next? well as long as there is cookie dough, there is a meg ryan movie. i'm now starting "sleepless in seattle."
but don't worry -- after this i'm planning to watch "nightmare on elm street," so everything will be in balance again.
quotes that i enjoy:

"bees. i'm allergic to bees."
"it's the same with harold and bees."
"harold wasn't always allergic to bees."
"what about harold and bees?"
"i'm allergic to bees."

that was for you, Meg.

not even cookie dough...

is enough to make fall feel better. and i like the season -- i have no ill will toward the change from humidity and flip-flops to sweaters and sensible shoes --- but man, fall is a tough time. and every year it happens and every year i think it will be different.
i think i'm going to spend the night eating cookie dough and watching meg ryan movies. so there.

my kitchen ...

... smells like freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.
why?
because i baked chocolate chip cookies. that i made. from scratch. not a container or a tube.
and i used butter.
and the cookies are delightful.

and this morning i realized i had lost five pounds. and then i made cookies....

rita, rita, rita...

come on, sugar, just lighten up on the coast, will ya?

and there was a freakin' earthquake in california early this morning?
what in the hell... and don't start with that "end of times" nonsense, you lunatics.
i don't even know what lunatics i'm speaking of.

we're watching last night's "daily show" and jon stewart -- who is usually funny as all get out anyhow -- is in rare form.

and rob corddry (sp?) is moving up toward being in my list of five.

oh, come now, YOU know about the list of five ... i first heard of it on "Friends" and it's that list of five people you'd be allowed to ... you know ... without any consequences from your significant other.

and the stipulation that i think is important is that they really need to be celebrities -- you know, people you would never, ever actually have the chance to sleep with -- otherwise you could say it about anyone you meet. and that would make it too easy. then you could just nail anyone.

so my list? let's see...

trent reznor
john cusack
ewan mcgregor
jon stewart
... and there are a few in rotation, depending on the mood, including (but not limited to):

philip seymour hoffman
mark ruffalo

who's on YOUR list?

why am i still awake?

it's midnight. the kid is asleep. i should be asleep. but i can't sleep. my brain is wide awake.

tomorrow will be a day of making chocolate chip cookies. with real butter. to hell with the slimfast for the weekend. the trick to good cookies? use a bit more vanilla than it calls for, and if you MUST use margerine, try to use half margerine/half butter.

and that's about as domestic as i can sound without making myself giggle.

there is very little that is nicer than being able to crawl into bed and know that you needn't set the alarm for the morning. of course, saturdays i always have an alarm who sleeps down the hall from me, and that alarm usually wakes me before 8 a.m. but that will change someday. someday she'll be an angst-ridden teenager who complains if i wake her before 2 p.m.

or she could be like me (as she proves more and more everyday, much to my chagrin) and be an early riser forever.

funny memory: i'm probably three years old and i've woken up long before my parents. i decide to pretend i'm in a shampoo commercial. in lieu of shampoo, i use baby oil in my hair. i spend some time talking to myself in the bathroom mirror, pretending i'm the damn breck girl. then my memory jumps to my mother discovering my greasy, greasy hair and hauling me off to the bath. washing out oil with water ... i'm sure that was awesome for her. must remember to call and apologize for that one.

i've discovered more and more that for everything the kiddo does that i recall doing, i feel the need to call my parents and apologize. and ask them why they didn't leave me to the gypsies. (they say it's b/c they love me, but i'm pretty sure it's b/c there aren't a lot of roving bands of gypsies in the ND countryside.)

my favorite picture.

kari dad picture
Originally uploaded by kllnin.

if i ever write a book or put out an album, this will be on the cover. seriously. my favorite picture EVER.

Holy F**king Rita!

Holy F**king Rita!
Originally uploaded by kllnin.

Christ, that's a storm...take care, you guys!!! And remember, it's not looting if you leave an IOU... seriously. Find what you need to be ok.

a few moments in the basement

well, we heard a bit o' the tornado warning sirens this evening, so we spent a few minutes in the basement and now we're back above ground. it's an interesting perspective for me to have a child who is afraid of storms -- as much as i was when i was her age. by the time i had abbey i was a big fan of thunderstorms, so it's not as though she has grown up, watching me panic about it.

i remember the first storm that i actually did not vomit from fear -- it was 7th grade maybe (can't recall for certain, i might need amycita's help on this one) and i was sleeping over at my best friend amy's house. we had to go in the basement b/c the sirens went off and, in north dakota, sirens only went off in the event a funnel was spotted. well down in the basement we hung out and ate suddenly salad with mixed with crab, something her mom had whipped up earlier that evening. and i was trying so hard to be cool and not panic that i guess i just started to enjoy myself. thanks for that, amycita!

i even remember how severe that storm was -- the next day we heard that there were a total of 7 funnels around the minot area and a tree in my parent's backyard was broken in half due to a lightening strike.

and as a slight tangent, i have tornado dreams about once a week. i'm in a big room which resembles a community type room at my grandparent's apartment complex -- only the walls are made of glass and there are tornadoes dropping out of the sky all over the place. and i can look up and see them swiriling and starting to form. i never dream i'm injured or that any of the glass walls even break, it's just this sense of what COULD happen. the walls COULD shatter and slice me into 17,000 pieces. the tornadoes COULD go on forever and ever. i'm just waiting, expectantly, for the worst to happen.

i remember being so afraid when i was little -- i don't recall many daytime tornado warnings in minot, mostly middle of the night ones until i got much older. so there's that whole "can't see what might be chasing and could destroy your entire life" thing.

and ever since that night at amy's house, if the sirens would go off while i was sleeping, i somehow would wake up a minute or two before the sirens, kind of like waking up right before an alarm clock. i have no explanation for that.

what a wordy post thus far. and i might just keep going, as it will make up for the fact that my recent posts have been largely photo-dependent.

had a bad head day yesterday. i could blame many things or i could blame nothing, as there need not be anything in particular to bring it on. i guess what throws me off and makes it even harder is that i spend most of my days under the illusion that i have it all under control. then days like yesterday morning happen and i realize that i'm controlling only two things (this is for you joe mammy) - jack and shit. jack left town.

the kiddo is delighted with her room. she called me at work today when she first saw it and she said it was "awesome."

me: do you like it?
her: you bet i do!

(this is her new phrase, which came into use after her short-lived "you betcha!" phase.)

tomorrow may prove to be a hectic day. we'll see.

for any of you on the gulf coast --- take care of yourselves. get out of harm's way. i hear that there is a nice ranch in crawford to visit...