Tuesday, November 30, 2004
holy of holy crap
THIS is what you'll be watching at 6 a.m. when you can't sleep. miracle spring water? ugh..preying upon the masses, the desperate and the sick.
Monday, November 29, 2004
accidental drinkiness
oh crap...those smirnoff ice...they are just like juice!
so i'm drinking some with my dinner -- maple and brown sugar oatmeal with toast -- and then i realize how funny an aol commercial is. and we all know that aol does not HAVE funny commercials, let alone the commercial where they are showing aol members sarcastically asking for a computer virus...but the guy, he asked that his computer make a noise like a YETTI, and then he actually made the YETTI noise! is was funny, right? it's not just the sauce, right???
i think i'm going to start posting more photos on my blog. just because.
so i'm drinking some with my dinner -- maple and brown sugar oatmeal with toast -- and then i realize how funny an aol commercial is. and we all know that aol does not HAVE funny commercials, let alone the commercial where they are showing aol members sarcastically asking for a computer virus...but the guy, he asked that his computer make a noise like a YETTI, and then he actually made the YETTI noise! is was funny, right? it's not just the sauce, right???
i think i'm going to start posting more photos on my blog. just because.
Friday, November 26, 2004
ahhh, time off....
time off is pretty delightful. today i've not done too much, but it's been enjoyable -- a trip to target with the abbey; the grocery and video stores saw my cheery mug; i made some sweet artichoke dip (8 oz of cream cheese, 1/2 cup of parmesean cheese, 1/2 cup mayo, 14oz of artichoke hearts, heat for 20-25 min. at 350) that is horribly bad for the body but it's SOOO GOOOOD with yummy bread. try it, you shan't be sorry.
the abbey is playing with barbies upstairs and i think the next step on the agenda for the day is to watch Predator once the child is in bed. i've not seen the entire movie and, after all, if it was good enough for the governator AND jesse the body, it's good enough for me.
well, abbey has just announced that she'll be watching the disney channel movie, "the cheetah girls." yep, that's right. "the cheetah girls." envy my television set.
the abbey is playing with barbies upstairs and i think the next step on the agenda for the day is to watch Predator once the child is in bed. i've not seen the entire movie and, after all, if it was good enough for the governator AND jesse the body, it's good enough for me.
well, abbey has just announced that she'll be watching the disney channel movie, "the cheetah girls." yep, that's right. "the cheetah girls." envy my television set.
Wednesday, November 24, 2004
and so the days off begin!
okay...so not going to minot this weekend, therefore abbey and i are now watching "elf."
it's funny! and bob newhart, priceless. completely priceless. his delivery..it's just great. almost as great as will ferrell saying "shocking!"
so i had some skin things removed from my face today, they were on both sides of my nose (i know, this is delightful to read, huh?) and it really effing hurt. lidocaine in the face with a needle -- no good, i tell you. then the cauterization of the wound...HURRAH FOR PAIN AND THE SMELL OF BURNING FLESH!
now it's reduced to a stinging sensation and i'm supposed to keep lil' bandaids over the spots. however i don't know if you have tried to wear a bandaid on the sides of your nose, but if so, then you've probably learned that they not only tickle but also like to fall off. consistently. and damn it, i'm running out of little square bandaids! all i'll have left are the ones for big wounds and it just won't be right! i demand a recount! (what?)
speaking of recount (nice segue!), have you had a look at blackboxvoting.org? any thoughts on what is happening and how NO ONE is talking about it?
so on the agenda tomorrow will a little time and money spent at the old country buffet in woodbury. a step up from the royal trough in minot, but still that element of... crazy mass eating. if you look around sometimes all you can see are mouths chewing food...it's gets surreal.
there is this side of nostalgia i have about thanksgiving day -- watching the macy's parade with my sisters (switching the channels to try to avoid commercials was a task), the smell of food cooking...
and then there is the reality that i remember that i would always block out -- parents frantically trying to prepare an 18-course meal and there not being enough people helping out or there were too many cooks in the kitchen -- literally. but it was fine, b/c i think that many families were like mine.
it was chaotic and hectic but it was good -- and don't get me wrong, because my first thoughts of this time of year are not the ones about stress and chaos and spilling the 7up on the table, but of the cool feeling you have as a kid, watching the parade and wishing like hell you could be as cool as your sisters.
and now it's time for more abbey-ness. happy turkey day, everyone.
it's funny! and bob newhart, priceless. completely priceless. his delivery..it's just great. almost as great as will ferrell saying "shocking!"
so i had some skin things removed from my face today, they were on both sides of my nose (i know, this is delightful to read, huh?) and it really effing hurt. lidocaine in the face with a needle -- no good, i tell you. then the cauterization of the wound...HURRAH FOR PAIN AND THE SMELL OF BURNING FLESH!
now it's reduced to a stinging sensation and i'm supposed to keep lil' bandaids over the spots. however i don't know if you have tried to wear a bandaid on the sides of your nose, but if so, then you've probably learned that they not only tickle but also like to fall off. consistently. and damn it, i'm running out of little square bandaids! all i'll have left are the ones for big wounds and it just won't be right! i demand a recount! (what?)
speaking of recount (nice segue!), have you had a look at blackboxvoting.org? any thoughts on what is happening and how NO ONE is talking about it?
so on the agenda tomorrow will a little time and money spent at the old country buffet in woodbury. a step up from the royal trough in minot, but still that element of... crazy mass eating. if you look around sometimes all you can see are mouths chewing food...it's gets surreal.
there is this side of nostalgia i have about thanksgiving day -- watching the macy's parade with my sisters (switching the channels to try to avoid commercials was a task), the smell of food cooking...
and then there is the reality that i remember that i would always block out -- parents frantically trying to prepare an 18-course meal and there not being enough people helping out or there were too many cooks in the kitchen -- literally. but it was fine, b/c i think that many families were like mine.
it was chaotic and hectic but it was good -- and don't get me wrong, because my first thoughts of this time of year are not the ones about stress and chaos and spilling the 7up on the table, but of the cool feeling you have as a kid, watching the parade and wishing like hell you could be as cool as your sisters.
and now it's time for more abbey-ness. happy turkey day, everyone.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
a very queer eye thanksgiving
i'm 26 minutes into the bravo special where the fab five meet up with the gents from the previous season to see how they have done...have they stayed on the correct path or, in the case of twin brothers, have they gone back to peeing in bottles next to the bed?
so i make it to the first commercial break and i turn off the tv. am i ashamed to watch this? is it exploitative that this show exists?
well that lasted about six damn seconds b/c the tv is back on and i'm learning about making biscuits and the proper kind of brine for soaking a turkey.
and these twin brothers (fraternal, not identical, so you can see who really started it) can't keep themselves from wrestling. just spontaneous wrestling. what gives?
i should sleep.
oh, and i worked out today for thd second damn day in a row. i think i might even do it tomorrow. i'll keep you posted.
what a sorry, bland post. so sad.
so i make it to the first commercial break and i turn off the tv. am i ashamed to watch this? is it exploitative that this show exists?
well that lasted about six damn seconds b/c the tv is back on and i'm learning about making biscuits and the proper kind of brine for soaking a turkey.
and these twin brothers (fraternal, not identical, so you can see who really started it) can't keep themselves from wrestling. just spontaneous wrestling. what gives?
i should sleep.
oh, and i worked out today for thd second damn day in a row. i think i might even do it tomorrow. i'll keep you posted.
what a sorry, bland post. so sad.
and for lunch?
Progresso Lentil Soup... don't know it til you've tried it, i say!
and most days when i'm eating my soup i'll finish it and think, "boy, that soup sure went fast." however today is not the case. my thought today is, "boy, will i have enough lunchtime to eat all these lentils? will this bowl of lentils ever end?"
and most days when i'm eating my soup i'll finish it and think, "boy, that soup sure went fast." however today is not the case. my thought today is, "boy, will i have enough lunchtime to eat all these lentils? will this bowl of lentils ever end?"
Monday, November 22, 2004
kevin costner post-apocalyptic night!
holy shite... "waterworld" is on the usa network...okay, if kevin costner is "evolved" in it, having gills and all, but does he eat fish?
"nothin's free in waterworld..."
what a horrible line delivered in such a horrible manner. i might just have to keep a tally of horrible dialogue...wait, i think someone did that when they wrote the screenplay for this.
"nothin's free in waterworld..."
what a horrible line delivered in such a horrible manner. i might just have to keep a tally of horrible dialogue...wait, i think someone did that when they wrote the screenplay for this.
how'd my weekend fare?
this was a list of things to do this last weekend (or was it the weekend before?) as shown in a previous entry:
• cleaning the gutters (must first find ladder or defy law of gravity);
• putting plastic over windows (must first remember to buy it at target instead of being distracted by silly purses);
• taking coats to dry cleaners (a chore that, for some reason, i leave to the last damn minute before snowfall);
• not only doing laundry, but actually removing clean clothing from baskets and placing it in a useful location, such as a closet or a dresser);
• cat litter: 'nuff said. (would it have been soooo hard to write "enough" insted of "'nuff?" i think not. i'm so lazy.)
• spend time regretting the fact that i stayed up too late tonight -- this will most likely begin when abbey wakes me up around 7 a.m.
------------- and how did these things work out for me? let's see...
- gutters, schmutters. f**k the gutters. i don't have a ladder and, to date, no way to fly to the roof.
- plastic was placed over abbey's windows. only 2000 windows to go.
- didn't take coats to dry cleaners, but did find a dry cleaners close to home...that's half the battle, right?
- ummm...i have lots of baskets filled with fresh clothing. they are blocking my path to the dressers, closets, etc.
- cats have litter. mission accomplished. (and when i say "mission accomplished," i mean it in the real way, not the George W. Bush way.)
- i always regret staying up too late, even when i'm in bed by 10. mostly b/c i can't get my arse out of bed in the morning and i go to work all disheveled and whatnot. just once i'd like to be...sheveled.
so here are some more plans that won't be completed this evening:
- clean bedroom (put clothes away)
- tidy up abbey's room (put clothes away)
- tidy up bathroom (put dirty clothes in wasy)
- tidy up living room (but books on shelves)
and as a special shout-out to shanny, check out www.thecampushouse.com -- it'll be the next damn movie on my movie rack! we heart campy horror!
• cleaning the gutters (must first find ladder or defy law of gravity);
• putting plastic over windows (must first remember to buy it at target instead of being distracted by silly purses);
• taking coats to dry cleaners (a chore that, for some reason, i leave to the last damn minute before snowfall);
• not only doing laundry, but actually removing clean clothing from baskets and placing it in a useful location, such as a closet or a dresser);
• cat litter: 'nuff said. (would it have been soooo hard to write "enough" insted of "'nuff?" i think not. i'm so lazy.)
• spend time regretting the fact that i stayed up too late tonight -- this will most likely begin when abbey wakes me up around 7 a.m.
------------- and how did these things work out for me? let's see...
- gutters, schmutters. f**k the gutters. i don't have a ladder and, to date, no way to fly to the roof.
- plastic was placed over abbey's windows. only 2000 windows to go.
- didn't take coats to dry cleaners, but did find a dry cleaners close to home...that's half the battle, right?
- ummm...i have lots of baskets filled with fresh clothing. they are blocking my path to the dressers, closets, etc.
- cats have litter. mission accomplished. (and when i say "mission accomplished," i mean it in the real way, not the George W. Bush way.)
- i always regret staying up too late, even when i'm in bed by 10. mostly b/c i can't get my arse out of bed in the morning and i go to work all disheveled and whatnot. just once i'd like to be...sheveled.
so here are some more plans that won't be completed this evening:
- clean bedroom (put clothes away)
- tidy up abbey's room (put clothes away)
- tidy up bathroom (put dirty clothes in wasy)
- tidy up living room (but books on shelves)
and as a special shout-out to shanny, check out www.thecampushouse.com -- it'll be the next damn movie on my movie rack! we heart campy horror!
Sunday, November 21, 2004
another weekend goes by...
currently relaxing while watching "his girl friday," starring cary grant.
a good watch purchased on dvd for a mere dollar at the evil walmart.
people in this era ate very politely. a roast beef sandwich they all ordered and they ate it with a knife in one hand and a fork in the other for the whole damn time they are eating. when was the last time you did that? or i did that, for that matter? perhaps i'll make a point in eating in a more refined manner.
but it's tough to eat pudding with a knife and fork.
a good watch purchased on dvd for a mere dollar at the evil walmart.
people in this era ate very politely. a roast beef sandwich they all ordered and they ate it with a knife in one hand and a fork in the other for the whole damn time they are eating. when was the last time you did that? or i did that, for that matter? perhaps i'll make a point in eating in a more refined manner.
but it's tough to eat pudding with a knife and fork.
Friday, November 19, 2004
eek!
this is awful! aahhhh!
plastic surgery with a SPATULA????? shouldn't that be reserved for scraping the cake batter from a bowl? eeks.
but you know what? if i want plastic surgery i would do my damndest to MAKE CERTAIN that the surgeon was a REAL SURGEON. aren't there ways to find that out? scary...
plastic surgery with a SPATULA????? shouldn't that be reserved for scraping the cake batter from a bowl? eeks.
but you know what? if i want plastic surgery i would do my damndest to MAKE CERTAIN that the surgeon was a REAL SURGEON. aren't there ways to find that out? scary...
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
with days like these....
...i don't even know what i should compare a day like today to -- it was kind of like repeatedly stubbing your toe on a chair -- you know, when it actually separates the toes that don't like to be that separated -- over and over, and you are running late to the next chair accident so you hurry along for the next assault and you can't swear or get upset and you just have to suck up a day of agony? a day of obligatory toe stubbing? that's what i felt like. like i was constantly fucking up, constantly stubbing my proverbial toe on the proverbial mental illness chair.
did that make any sense at all?
so that was my wednesday -- one crappy event/incident/etc. after another, all the while waiting for the other shoe to drop...and it would always, always drop. always.
here's hoping tomorrow will be better. and i never say things like "it couldn't get any worse," because that would be a silly thing to say. i've seen that happen more times that i want to recally. when you think you've hit bottom? nice try... it can ALWAYS get worse.
sweet dreams!
did that make any sense at all?
so that was my wednesday -- one crappy event/incident/etc. after another, all the while waiting for the other shoe to drop...and it would always, always drop. always.
here's hoping tomorrow will be better. and i never say things like "it couldn't get any worse," because that would be a silly thing to say. i've seen that happen more times that i want to recally. when you think you've hit bottom? nice try... it can ALWAYS get worse.
sweet dreams!
i'm openminded and all, but.....
HERE is a good reason for me not to move to new zealand.
but i'm not judging.
what's interesting is that the woman in the news story explains why she first fed the dog -- b/c the baby stopped taking her milk and she didn't want it to go to waste.
well see, having fed a baby, here's how that works: SUPPLY AND DEMAND. if a baby won't have it, then it dries up. yeah, you maybe waste a day or two at max, but when the need decreases, the supply decreases.
no reason to share with fido.
have you all had a chance to visit THIS happy site? it will make you hate your country a little bit less.
but i'm not judging.
what's interesting is that the woman in the news story explains why she first fed the dog -- b/c the baby stopped taking her milk and she didn't want it to go to waste.
well see, having fed a baby, here's how that works: SUPPLY AND DEMAND. if a baby won't have it, then it dries up. yeah, you maybe waste a day or two at max, but when the need decreases, the supply decreases.
no reason to share with fido.
have you all had a chance to visit THIS happy site? it will make you hate your country a little bit less.
Tuesday, November 16, 2004
WEARESORRY
WEARESORRY
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
this is what i threw together on company time to send to sorryeverybody.com. do what you gotta do.
good site...
visit http://sorryeverybody.com. really. and i expect all of you with digital cameras, macpaint or photoshop to get in on the action. i'll be posting my humble submission soon.
Monday, November 15, 2004
Just pants
that blog title is for you, p-funk.
i'm still giddy over my purchase of pants from old navy. i know, i know, they were probably assembled by someone who is underpaid in a foreign country -- a child, maybe. but i still bought them and i still like them and this will just solidify my reserved seat in hell.
i'm still giddy over my purchase of pants from old navy. i know, i know, they were probably assembled by someone who is underpaid in a foreign country -- a child, maybe. but i still bought them and i still like them and this will just solidify my reserved seat in hell.
Saturday, November 13, 2004
oh for f**ks sake...
fx is a fine, fine channel. they are showing "armageddon," which is silly but useful to watch whilst drinking a bit of the sauce. and it's being shown with "limited commercial interruption," thanks in part to jack daniels. and then there was a commercial (albeit a limited commercial) for the fx movie called "smallpox." because we need a more afraid public.
billy bob thorton plays the head of nasa in "armageddon," i think. that's second only to him playing the u.s. president in "love actually."
gee, i'm torn as to what my favorite part of this movie is....when ben affleck begins to sing "leavin' on a jet plane" to liv tyler, or when ben afflect is using animal crackers in an unclean manner.
i think a common mistake to make in space flight is excessive screaming; it just makes you look like an amateur. or maybe the common mistake is really having a soundtrack that sounds like the one in this effing movie... maybe if they had a less menacing soundtrack you could MAYBE take the scenario seriously.
but according to some sources (and when i say "some sources," i mean "i heard once somewhere but i don't recall where") that the government is not spending enough to monitor the potential dangers from space (asteroids, etc.) -- that it's really only enough to monitor about 1/3 of space. if that's so, maybe then this movie IS realistic. but i choose not to think about it that way. i choose to think of it as a crappy jerry bruckheimer production. (i will now check imdb.com to see if i was right on that bruckheimer guesstimate.)
yep, i was right on that....director michael bay and producer jerry bruckheimer, the same uber-genuii that brought us "pearl harbor."
and in other movie news, there is production work announced from michael bay in the lines of a prequel to the "texas chainsaw massacre" AND a remake of "the amityville horror."
i'm still waiting for verification of the "jason and freddy vs. ash" rumor i've heard -- i think i could really only endorse that if sam raimi had a hand in the mix of it. of course, he had a hand in sarah michelle geller's "the grudge," so who knows what is going on in sam's noggin.
does anyone know if sam raimi's classic car appears in that movie? maybe it's only movies he directs...
time for pizza.
billy bob thorton plays the head of nasa in "armageddon," i think. that's second only to him playing the u.s. president in "love actually."
gee, i'm torn as to what my favorite part of this movie is....when ben affleck begins to sing "leavin' on a jet plane" to liv tyler, or when ben afflect is using animal crackers in an unclean manner.
i think a common mistake to make in space flight is excessive screaming; it just makes you look like an amateur. or maybe the common mistake is really having a soundtrack that sounds like the one in this effing movie... maybe if they had a less menacing soundtrack you could MAYBE take the scenario seriously.
but according to some sources (and when i say "some sources," i mean "i heard once somewhere but i don't recall where") that the government is not spending enough to monitor the potential dangers from space (asteroids, etc.) -- that it's really only enough to monitor about 1/3 of space. if that's so, maybe then this movie IS realistic. but i choose not to think about it that way. i choose to think of it as a crappy jerry bruckheimer production. (i will now check imdb.com to see if i was right on that bruckheimer guesstimate.)
yep, i was right on that....director michael bay and producer jerry bruckheimer, the same uber-genuii that brought us "pearl harbor."
and in other movie news, there is production work announced from michael bay in the lines of a prequel to the "texas chainsaw massacre" AND a remake of "the amityville horror."
i'm still waiting for verification of the "jason and freddy vs. ash" rumor i've heard -- i think i could really only endorse that if sam raimi had a hand in the mix of it. of course, he had a hand in sarah michelle geller's "the grudge," so who knows what is going on in sam's noggin.
does anyone know if sam raimi's classic car appears in that movie? maybe it's only movies he directs...
time for pizza.
horrible...just horrible...
i hate channel-surfing on the offchance of encountering a program on c-span featuring a person like this.
completely horrible. she was discussing that, as a lesbian, she goes against the grain of the mainstream, but because she dresses conservatively, is a conservative, doesn't live in west hollywood and has no piercings, she's against the grain in the gay community. b/c that's what all gay people look like: pierced, wearing outrageous clothing and living in california. she was horrible and i turned the tv off. then i found her online and the main page shows another one of those fucking election maps, showing "Bush Country 2004."
oh, and she said that everytime anyone mocks a republican, they should try to replace the word "republican" with the word "jew," because not liking republicans is along the same lines as being anti-semitic. if i said, "gee, i think we should round up all the republicans onto a train to a death camp," or "i think we should exterminate all the republicans," her comment might hold a bit of water.
gross.
completely horrible. she was discussing that, as a lesbian, she goes against the grain of the mainstream, but because she dresses conservatively, is a conservative, doesn't live in west hollywood and has no piercings, she's against the grain in the gay community. b/c that's what all gay people look like: pierced, wearing outrageous clothing and living in california. she was horrible and i turned the tv off. then i found her online and the main page shows another one of those fucking election maps, showing "Bush Country 2004."
oh, and she said that everytime anyone mocks a republican, they should try to replace the word "republican" with the word "jew," because not liking republicans is along the same lines as being anti-semitic. if i said, "gee, i think we should round up all the republicans onto a train to a death camp," or "i think we should exterminate all the republicans," her comment might hold a bit of water.
gross.
friday schmiday
"rear window" just finished up -- what a great movie, that scene where grace kelly's character is in the neighbor's apartment, looking for evidence of a murder -- while the neighbor is about to walk back in his door and the whole time, jimmy stewart's character is watching it all take place and is unable to do anything about it, on account of the broken leg and wheelchair! what a great scene. i guess turner classic movies did a bunch of grace kelly movies today, celebrating her birthday.
abbey, dustin and i spent a little time with the oldest larson girl, bobbi, and her son, matthew, tonight at an area perkins -- yummmmmy country club omelet.
awww, sweet! the history channel has a goody show about alien craft in nevada -- god, i love cable. i know i shouldn't but dude, i do.
i just wrote "dude."
abbey, dustin and i spent a little time with the oldest larson girl, bobbi, and her son, matthew, tonight at an area perkins -- yummmmmy country club omelet.
awww, sweet! the history channel has a goody show about alien craft in nevada -- god, i love cable. i know i shouldn't but dude, i do.
i just wrote "dude."
a weekend, a schmeekend
i fear this weekend will be one riddled with household chores, including (but not limited to):
• cleaning the gutters (must first find ladder or defy law of gravity);
• putting plastic over windows (must first remember to buy it at target instead of being distracted by silly purses);
• taking coats to dry cleaners (a chore that, for some reason, i leave to the last damn minute before snowfall);
• not only doing laundry, but actually removing clean clothing from baskets and placing it in a useful location, such as a closet or a dresser);
• cat litter: 'nuff said. (would it have been soooo hard to write "enough" insted of "'nuff?" i think not. i'm so lazy.)
• spend time regretting the fact that i stayed up too late tonight -- this will most likely begin when abbey wakes me up around 7 a.m.
that's the long and short of it. or maybe just the short of it; no need to include the long.
• cleaning the gutters (must first find ladder or defy law of gravity);
• putting plastic over windows (must first remember to buy it at target instead of being distracted by silly purses);
• taking coats to dry cleaners (a chore that, for some reason, i leave to the last damn minute before snowfall);
• not only doing laundry, but actually removing clean clothing from baskets and placing it in a useful location, such as a closet or a dresser);
• cat litter: 'nuff said. (would it have been soooo hard to write "enough" insted of "'nuff?" i think not. i'm so lazy.)
• spend time regretting the fact that i stayed up too late tonight -- this will most likely begin when abbey wakes me up around 7 a.m.
that's the long and short of it. or maybe just the short of it; no need to include the long.
Thursday, November 11, 2004
a quiet night at home
a nice calm night at home after a busy day at work -- which is good, as busy makes the time go faster. not busy = eternal shift.
sarah montgomery's nephew is sleeping on our couch right now. his mom/sarah's sister, allison, is in town with micah scott to see the pixies tonight in st. paul, so tristan (the nephew) came over to hang out w/the absterbinder. the kids are both totally sacked out, and i forgot how funny boys are about things. i offered him a sleeping bag but as it is a disney princess sleeping bag, he was less than excited about it.
bobbi (oldest sister) is in town -- she's currently in eagan cleaning amy's house (next oldest sister who had the c-section) and generally being helpful. we'll be meeting for dinner tomorrow night. and saturday will feature a carnival at abbey's school -- not a carnival w/rides and stuff, but a carnival with a school crowded with kids and parents, overpriced slices of room temperature pizza and carnival games rewarded with really crappy prizes.
but abbey is excited, so that's what matters.
what do you guys think of the black eyed peas? i'm torn on them. i might like them, i might now like them.
have you ever spent a great deal of time blogging, then while reading over what you've written, you realize that you've written nothing funny, interesting, substantial or clever??? should i even bother posting this?
oh hell, i'm sure i will. i'm tired. i need sleep.
sarah montgomery's nephew is sleeping on our couch right now. his mom/sarah's sister, allison, is in town with micah scott to see the pixies tonight in st. paul, so tristan (the nephew) came over to hang out w/the absterbinder. the kids are both totally sacked out, and i forgot how funny boys are about things. i offered him a sleeping bag but as it is a disney princess sleeping bag, he was less than excited about it.
bobbi (oldest sister) is in town -- she's currently in eagan cleaning amy's house (next oldest sister who had the c-section) and generally being helpful. we'll be meeting for dinner tomorrow night. and saturday will feature a carnival at abbey's school -- not a carnival w/rides and stuff, but a carnival with a school crowded with kids and parents, overpriced slices of room temperature pizza and carnival games rewarded with really crappy prizes.
but abbey is excited, so that's what matters.
what do you guys think of the black eyed peas? i'm torn on them. i might like them, i might now like them.
have you ever spent a great deal of time blogging, then while reading over what you've written, you realize that you've written nothing funny, interesting, substantial or clever??? should i even bother posting this?
oh hell, i'm sure i will. i'm tired. i need sleep.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
funniess from jeggmeister
www.fuckthesouth.com is really funny. and mildly offensive, but funny nevertheless.
and jegg also offered the following bit of fun...don't know the origin, but here, for your reading pleasure...
"What Kerry Should Have Said"
"My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken, and spoken with a clear voice. So I am here to offer my concession. I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people. Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue, you saw fit to vote for him.
I never saw that coming.
That's really special. And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids who ride the short school bus and find ways to injure themselves while eating pudding with rubber spoons. That kind of special. I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That's pretty powerful stuff, and I didn't see it.
So let me take a moment to congratulate the President's strategists:
Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing states like Ohio... well, that was just genius. Genius. > It got people, a certain kind of people, to the polls. The unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral values" as their biggest issue, those people changed history. The folks who consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, or terrorism, or the economy...
Who'd have thought the election would belong to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that. Credit where it's due. I concede that I put too much faith in America's youth With 8 out of 10 of you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates dying daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to pay for rich old peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage that you did in 2000. You suck.
Seriously, y'do.
There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time for healing, to bring the nation together. Let me tell you a little story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends. As the night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split. The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while complaining about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our name. We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"
More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.
Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide for its future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, we've done just that. It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same.
As well as conceding the election today, I am also announcing my candidacy for president in 2008. And I make this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be no pandering. This time I will run with all the open and joking contempt for my opponents that our President demonstrated towards the cradle of liberty, the Ivy League intellectuals, the "media elite," and the "white-wine sippers." This time I will not pretend that the simple folk of America know just as much as the people who devote their lives to serving and studying the nation and the world. They don't.
So that's why I'm asking for your vote in 2008, America. I'm talking to you, you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-thumping, inbred drones, you redneck, racist, chest-thumping, perennially duped grade-school grads. Vote for me, because I know better, and I truly believe that I can help your smug, sorry asses.
Thank you, and may God, if he does in fact exist, bless each and every one of you."
and jegg also offered the following bit of fun...don't know the origin, but here, for your reading pleasure...
"What Kerry Should Have Said"
"My fellow Americans, the people of this nation have spoken, and spoken with a clear voice. So I am here to offer my concession. I concede that I overestimated the intelligence of the American people. Though the people disagree with the President on almost every issue, you saw fit to vote for him.
I never saw that coming.
That's really special. And I mean "special" in the sense that we use it to describe those kids who ride the short school bus and find ways to injure themselves while eating pudding with rubber spoons. That kind of special. I concede that I misjudged the power of hate. That's pretty powerful stuff, and I didn't see it.
So let me take a moment to congratulate the President's strategists:
Putting the gay marriage amendments on the ballot in various swing states like Ohio... well, that was just genius. Genius. > It got people, a certain kind of people, to the polls. The unprecedented number of folks who showed up and cited "moral values" as their biggest issue, those people changed history. The folks who consider same sex marriage a more important issue than war, or terrorism, or the economy...
Who'd have thought the election would belong to them? Well, Karl Rove did. Gotta give it up to him for that. Credit where it's due. I concede that I put too much faith in America's youth With 8 out of 10 of you opposing the President, with your friends and classmates dying daily in a war you disapprove of, with your future being mortgaged to pay for rich old peoples' tax breaks, you somehow managed to sit on your asses and watch the Cartoon Network while aging homophobic hillbillies carried the day. You voted with the exact same anemic percentage that you did in 2000. You suck.
Seriously, y'do.
There are some who would say that I sound bitter, that now is the time for healing, to bring the nation together. Let me tell you a little story. Last night, I watched the returns come in with some friends. As the night progressed, people began to talk half-seriously about secession, a red state / blue state split. The reasoning was this: We in blue states produce the vast majority of the wealth in this country and pay the most taxes, and you in the red states receive the majority of the money from those taxes while complaining about 'em. We in the blue states are the only ones who've been attacked by foreign terrorists, yet you in the red states are gung ho to fight a war in our name. We in the blue states produce the entertainment that you consume so greedily each day, while you in the red states show open disdain for us and our values. Blue state civilians are the actual victims and targets of the war on terror, while red state civilians are the ones standing behind us and yelling "Oh, yeah!? Bring it on!"
More than 40% of you Bush voters still believe that Saddam Hussein had something to do with 9/11. I'm impressed by that, truly I am. Your sons and daughters who might die in this war know it's not true, the people in the urban centers where al Qaeda wants to attack know it's not true, but those of you who are at practically no risk believe this easy lie because you can. As part of my concession speech, let me say that I really envy that luxury. I concede that.
Healing? We, the people at risk from terrorists, the people who subsidize you, the people who speak in glowing and respectful terms about the heartland of America while that heartland insults and excoriates us... we wanted some healing. We spoke loud and clear. And you refused to give it to us, largely because of your high moral values. You knew better: America doesn't need its allies, doesn't need to share the burden, doesn't need to unite the world, doesn't need to provide for its future. Hell no. Not when it's got a human shield of pointy-headed, atheistic, unconfrontational breadwinners who are willing to pay the bills and play nice in the vain hope of winning a vote that we can never have. Because we're "morally inferior," I suppose, we are supposed to respect your values while you insult ours. And the big joke here is that for 20 years, we've done just that. It's not a "ha-ha" funny joke, I realize, but it's a joke all the same.
As well as conceding the election today, I am also announcing my candidacy for president in 2008. And I make this pledge to you today: THIS time, next time, there will be no pandering. This time I will run with all the open and joking contempt for my opponents that our President demonstrated towards the cradle of liberty, the Ivy League intellectuals, the "media elite," and the "white-wine sippers." This time I will not pretend that the simple folk of America know just as much as the people who devote their lives to serving and studying the nation and the world. They don't.
So that's why I'm asking for your vote in 2008, America. I'm talking to you, you ignorant, slack-jawed yokels, you bible-thumping, inbred drones, you redneck, racist, chest-thumping, perennially duped grade-school grads. Vote for me, because I know better, and I truly believe that I can help your smug, sorry asses.
Thank you, and may God, if he does in fact exist, bless each and every one of you."
DONATE!!!!
visit this site and adopt your very own precinct! only 10 bucks each! according to air america's randi rhodes, there were 97,000 more votes than registered voters in ohio. it's gross. visit the site and consider donating for the recount. really. i will.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
just one of those days
when you are mentally ill and you are out in public, it's kind of like you are the walking dead; you are trying so hard not to be noticed, for no one to see that look on your face -- the look that shows you are being crushed from the inside out. but after a while of trying so hard not to be noticed, you honestly believe that you might be invisible; you begin to wonder: if i spoke, would i make any sound at all?
it's horrible having a job on days like these -- i suppose it's better for someone like me to be occupied rather than alone all day long, but it's pretty excruciating just sitting at a desk, literally counting down the hours until you can be back in the car and on the way home. i'm not kidding about the counting down, either -- i mark down the hours on a notepad on my desk starting at five hours...then it feels pretty good to just cross off each hour as it passes. or maybe it stretches out the day. i haven't completely decided yet. i'll keep you posted.
i'm now seeing proof that, no matter how pretty you may be, you can still be horribly stupid. what show can offer that? why, it's none other than Bravo's own Manhunt! these male models are not bright...and their model dates are actually just bitchy -- probably because none of them eat, they just chain smoke and say things like "no! i'm so fat! i won't eat another bite of sushi!"
then the girls take turns humoring the girl..."oh, you are not! you are sooo pretty! shut up! just eat!"
i suddenly feel a great deal better about myself.
this weekend i will be shopping for pants with the sister meg. it's time for a trip to ye olde navy for some clothings that has been assembled by people in a third-world country for poverty wages. i know, it's horrible that i shop there. however in this country we live in, i earn poverty wages, so there's my excuse. i can now sleep at night.
and i keep watching this effing show. and the boys -- although they look like they would be models and in magazine ads and are pretty in that sort of model way, none of them are interesting to look at -- a dime a dozen, really.
ooh! there is an "embedded model" in the group! sneaky bravo!
it's horrible having a job on days like these -- i suppose it's better for someone like me to be occupied rather than alone all day long, but it's pretty excruciating just sitting at a desk, literally counting down the hours until you can be back in the car and on the way home. i'm not kidding about the counting down, either -- i mark down the hours on a notepad on my desk starting at five hours...then it feels pretty good to just cross off each hour as it passes. or maybe it stretches out the day. i haven't completely decided yet. i'll keep you posted.
i'm now seeing proof that, no matter how pretty you may be, you can still be horribly stupid. what show can offer that? why, it's none other than Bravo's own Manhunt! these male models are not bright...and their model dates are actually just bitchy -- probably because none of them eat, they just chain smoke and say things like "no! i'm so fat! i won't eat another bite of sushi!"
then the girls take turns humoring the girl..."oh, you are not! you are sooo pretty! shut up! just eat!"
i suddenly feel a great deal better about myself.
this weekend i will be shopping for pants with the sister meg. it's time for a trip to ye olde navy for some clothings that has been assembled by people in a third-world country for poverty wages. i know, it's horrible that i shop there. however in this country we live in, i earn poverty wages, so there's my excuse. i can now sleep at night.
and i keep watching this effing show. and the boys -- although they look like they would be models and in magazine ads and are pretty in that sort of model way, none of them are interesting to look at -- a dime a dozen, really.
ooh! there is an "embedded model" in the group! sneaky bravo!
lunchtime blog
today's laundry list of complaints (b/c i'm in a foul mood)
- my lunch: ramen noodle co. went the wrong way with their chili-lime concoction. and, it stained my shirt.
- my turtleneck: feels too constricting on every damn part of me.
- my jeans/belt: not enough belt loops to keep belt where it needs to be; the pants still sink and the belt stays on my waist -- it's just not right. but to go without a belt would be a damn guarantee of pant sinkage.
- my commute to work: soul-sucking.
- my brain -- it just won't function properly-- i don't even mean function at peak performance, i just mean not feel all crazy and stuff.
- my computer at work: a pc running windows 98 that crashes during photoshop and pagemaker.
- pagemaker: the simple fact that this program is still in use. it almost makes me wish for quark. not quark 6, but quark 4. quark 6 is evil.
- my lunch break: it's now 1 p.m. and my break is over.
shite.
- my lunch: ramen noodle co. went the wrong way with their chili-lime concoction. and, it stained my shirt.
- my turtleneck: feels too constricting on every damn part of me.
- my jeans/belt: not enough belt loops to keep belt where it needs to be; the pants still sink and the belt stays on my waist -- it's just not right. but to go without a belt would be a damn guarantee of pant sinkage.
- my commute to work: soul-sucking.
- my brain -- it just won't function properly-- i don't even mean function at peak performance, i just mean not feel all crazy and stuff.
- my computer at work: a pc running windows 98 that crashes during photoshop and pagemaker.
- pagemaker: the simple fact that this program is still in use. it almost makes me wish for quark. not quark 6, but quark 4. quark 6 is evil.
- my lunch break: it's now 1 p.m. and my break is over.
shite.
Monday, November 08, 2004
snazzy titles!!!
Operation Phantom Fury?
You are fucking kidding me....i just, i mean, i don't even know how to respond to that! do they think them up solely to entertain those responsible for making news graphics? jeez.....
happy birthday to mr. terry walker today, he's now hit the magic 30 -- six months and one day left for me....
You are fucking kidding me....i just, i mean, i don't even know how to respond to that! do they think them up solely to entertain those responsible for making news graphics? jeez.....
happy birthday to mr. terry walker today, he's now hit the magic 30 -- six months and one day left for me....
Saturday, November 06, 2004
sucked into TLC
i'm watching the show "while you were out" because i feel a little brain dead. it's a celebrity episode starring shannon elizabeth. and the host is gushing like a schoolboy around her -- it's pretty embarassing. and she's kind of bossy and picky and whiny.
okay, this host is pretty shameless..."i'm at shannon elizabeth's house!" nice. i hope she realizes that the host has masturbatory fantasies about her.
tonight the young mister walker will be having a birthday-type event at a nearby bowling alley (go Sun Ray Lanes!!!) -- he'll be 30 on the 8th of this month -- so we'll be showing our "stuff" on the lanes tonight. maybe terry will take pity on my poor skills and put in those gutter bumpers that they use for little kids.
okay, this host is pretty shameless..."i'm at shannon elizabeth's house!" nice. i hope she realizes that the host has masturbatory fantasies about her.
tonight the young mister walker will be having a birthday-type event at a nearby bowling alley (go Sun Ray Lanes!!!) -- he'll be 30 on the 8th of this month -- so we'll be showing our "stuff" on the lanes tonight. maybe terry will take pity on my poor skills and put in those gutter bumpers that they use for little kids.
crapola.
yeah, i have a feeling we'll be hearing about more cases of THIS in the coming days.
oh, i'll bet it's just that darn "liberal" media trying to undermine the will of the people! the people have spoken (sometimes, thanks to Diebold, more than once)! bush earned capital! he intends to spend that capital!
craaaaaaap!
it's an early saturday morning here in the larson/hansen/geffre household. the abster is up and playing with her barbies. still trying to understand why that necessitates ME being up, but that's the funny thing about kids: they like you with them.
oh, i'll bet it's just that darn "liberal" media trying to undermine the will of the people! the people have spoken (sometimes, thanks to Diebold, more than once)! bush earned capital! he intends to spend that capital!
craaaaaaap!
it's an early saturday morning here in the larson/hansen/geffre household. the abster is up and playing with her barbies. still trying to understand why that necessitates ME being up, but that's the funny thing about kids: they like you with them.
Friday, November 05, 2004
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
and a props goes out to...
chris for this handy-dandy little link, just in case you are feeling really rough about the election.
i might throw up a little.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
and still waiting....
ohio!!!! come on!!!!! for f**ks sake!!!!! get it moving for kerry!!!!!
i should not be watching this. ugh. i have the sneaking suspicion that if, god forbid, bush wins, the people will take to the streets... if bush thought he had a hard first inaugural trek to the white house, imagine what will happen if he tries again...
and it was a little disheartening seeing jon stewart look so dismayed -- makes me wish i had purchased tequila. however kerry did just win pennsylvania, so that's good. please, please bring it, ohio!!!!! and wisconsin??? you're a damn party state...how much more liberal can you get???
i should not be watching this. ugh. i have the sneaking suspicion that if, god forbid, bush wins, the people will take to the streets... if bush thought he had a hard first inaugural trek to the white house, imagine what will happen if he tries again...
and it was a little disheartening seeing jon stewart look so dismayed -- makes me wish i had purchased tequila. however kerry did just win pennsylvania, so that's good. please, please bring it, ohio!!!!! and wisconsin??? you're a damn party state...how much more liberal can you get???
and we wait...
we are watching the daily show's "prelude to a recount" and enjoying jon stewart a great deal. now we're waiting on the swing states and by god, i'm still excited and cautiously optimistic but nervous... al sharpton has the best zingers i've ever seen!
to be continued........
to be continued........
Monday, November 01, 2004
TOMORROW IS THE DAY....
the george w. bush will start stealing the good silver and stationery from the white house.
and this is a feel-good thing to look at....
http://www.electoral-vote.com/
i'm watching the last kerry campaign rally wrap up in cleveland -- i've recently become hook on c-span -- and i'm pretty excited and fairly optimistic -- and i don't think i'm naively optimistic, either. i did, however, get a pre-recorded phone call from the folks at the Republican National Committee that blatantly came out and said the following:
"The Bush Campaign has promised that there would not be a draft. Have the Democrats promised that? Maybe that's their secret plan. What are the Democrats hiding? Vote Bush for President on Tuesday, Nov. 2."
gross! ick! crap!
wow...john kerry is getting a little bit mobbed by his adoring fans. damn, that's got to be exhausting.
a really crappy day at work -- i wasn't really trained or walked through on any of the stuff that i'm doing, so now i've put together my fourth publication -- the first being 60 pages, the second being 6 pages, the third being 40 pages -- and this one is 144 pages. it's jam packed with ads (about 60 percent ads, 40 percent edit) and there have been changes all the way through the process. today i get it back from the higher ups and there are more layout changes that i understand need to be made but, at the same time, i'm frustrated b/c my editor (she's lovely, but i'm stressed out) is giving me the impression that i should know more about their process than i actually do. so for the last two hours of my day i felt like the worst employee in the universe. that's frustrating. all in all, the changes have been made and it won't be much longer before it's etched in stone, but it's still frustrating seeing the proofs come back to me with little sticky notes on each page that needs changes...and it's literally a sea of yellow sticky notes. nearly done, but frustrating none the less. one of those "i'm not good at anything...not even my damn job" kinds of days.
now here comes the part of c-span coverage that callers on all sides phone in and give their opinion. i just don't get bush supporters. i just don't get it. is there something that i'm missing?
here's one caller's thoughts:
"unemployment is the lowest in 30 years."
that same lunatic just began describing the process of partial-birth abortion and the host cut him off! nice work, c-span man! i like the expression the host has on his face when he's got his finger on the "cut the lunatic caller's line" button.
updates on my weirdo dreams:
this is actually the second time i've dreamt about this... i'm visiting my sister at the u of m and we're in a big dorm/apartment building and at night we have to hide things we don't want stolen by some big military-type group who comes in whenever they want. we all have to travel by bus and the bus keeps driving down steep stairs that are at 90 degree angles and it feels like we'll fall forward so we all have to lean way back to keep the bus from falling over.
so that's the second "living in a police state" dream i've had. gee, what's on my mind?
i'll be going to the polls at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning in an effort to beat the rush, so we'll see how that works out. i have a lot of work to do at the office but i kind of hope it's a long, long, long line.
jon stewart is a damn genius. a DAMN GENIUS!!! DO YOU HEAR ME????? if you haven't seen tonight's daily show, download it (legally, of course!) or watch it at midnight. really. do it.
and this is a feel-good thing to look at....
http://www.electoral-vote.com/
i'm watching the last kerry campaign rally wrap up in cleveland -- i've recently become hook on c-span -- and i'm pretty excited and fairly optimistic -- and i don't think i'm naively optimistic, either. i did, however, get a pre-recorded phone call from the folks at the Republican National Committee that blatantly came out and said the following:
"The Bush Campaign has promised that there would not be a draft. Have the Democrats promised that? Maybe that's their secret plan. What are the Democrats hiding? Vote Bush for President on Tuesday, Nov. 2."
gross! ick! crap!
wow...john kerry is getting a little bit mobbed by his adoring fans. damn, that's got to be exhausting.
a really crappy day at work -- i wasn't really trained or walked through on any of the stuff that i'm doing, so now i've put together my fourth publication -- the first being 60 pages, the second being 6 pages, the third being 40 pages -- and this one is 144 pages. it's jam packed with ads (about 60 percent ads, 40 percent edit) and there have been changes all the way through the process. today i get it back from the higher ups and there are more layout changes that i understand need to be made but, at the same time, i'm frustrated b/c my editor (she's lovely, but i'm stressed out) is giving me the impression that i should know more about their process than i actually do. so for the last two hours of my day i felt like the worst employee in the universe. that's frustrating. all in all, the changes have been made and it won't be much longer before it's etched in stone, but it's still frustrating seeing the proofs come back to me with little sticky notes on each page that needs changes...and it's literally a sea of yellow sticky notes. nearly done, but frustrating none the less. one of those "i'm not good at anything...not even my damn job" kinds of days.
now here comes the part of c-span coverage that callers on all sides phone in and give their opinion. i just don't get bush supporters. i just don't get it. is there something that i'm missing?
here's one caller's thoughts:
"unemployment is the lowest in 30 years."
that same lunatic just began describing the process of partial-birth abortion and the host cut him off! nice work, c-span man! i like the expression the host has on his face when he's got his finger on the "cut the lunatic caller's line" button.
updates on my weirdo dreams:
this is actually the second time i've dreamt about this... i'm visiting my sister at the u of m and we're in a big dorm/apartment building and at night we have to hide things we don't want stolen by some big military-type group who comes in whenever they want. we all have to travel by bus and the bus keeps driving down steep stairs that are at 90 degree angles and it feels like we'll fall forward so we all have to lean way back to keep the bus from falling over.
so that's the second "living in a police state" dream i've had. gee, what's on my mind?
i'll be going to the polls at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning in an effort to beat the rush, so we'll see how that works out. i have a lot of work to do at the office but i kind of hope it's a long, long, long line.
jon stewart is a damn genius. a DAMN GENIUS!!! DO YOU HEAR ME????? if you haven't seen tonight's daily show, download it (legally, of course!) or watch it at midnight. really. do it.
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