being proactive...

sucks and is not easy.
so i'm tired of feeling like i can't do anything to punish him, and i really, really wish this weren't happening again. i've talked to lawyers and i can't really do anything. i've talked to the bureau of criminal investigation and he's no longer required to register as an offender. maybe i just need to believe that people like him can be rehabilitated. but i don't. i know that if he no longer existed it would not make my life any easier. i've been told by one person that i need to learn forgiveness before i can feel better -- but that is never going to fucking happen. i blocked it out for so many years, why can't i continue to just do that? i wrote him a letter that i need to send. but before i send it i want to exhaust as many possibilities as i can. maybe i'll make an angry little blog of letters i wish i could send but haven't yet. maybe. keep your eyes peeled.