parenting 101

being a mom is a curious thing that certainly isn't helping me regain my voice. right now the child is upstairs, pretending to sleep but really, i can hear her traipse around the bedrooms, seeking the box of barbie dolls i hid in my room so she would stop playing w/the blasted things and JUST SLEEP.

"one more second of playing won't hurt, mom! one more second!"

grrrrrr....

and the familiar creak of my door opening. hahahahahaha she'll never look under the towel on my floor. see -- if i were a neat freak, i wouldn't be able to get away with anything. piles of clothes: that's the secret of parenting.

just got word that some minot folks will be paying us a visit for the occasion of dustin's play -- lovely! our guests will be adam files and his lovely girl, missy aili. (i'm sure i butchered the spelling of her last name.) i believe that jay jenkins will be driving with them, although staying elsewhere.

okay, all seems quiet upstairs...do i dare peek or just wait and then make a sad, pathetic attempt to yell at a later time? i should sleep. no, i should try on clothing to wear for the interview. (stream of consciousness thought: no, i should smoke a cigarette (unwise but will still do it) and then lament about what to wear and hope that my mary janes are where i think they are but not actually check until it's time to leave and then have a panic attack about how "i've not any shoes to wear!")

to sleep i go. wish me luck. wish me stunning wit and incredible charm and an aire of expertise she hasn't seen from anyone else and won't see in anyone else. wish me a full, lovely speaking voice instead of my creepy, wheezing, screeching cackle; wish me the poise of grace kelly and the "i kick ass at everything-ness" of... sigourney weaver; wish me the confidence i always wanted to have but never did; wish me the knowledge of all the right things to say at the right time to say them; wish me a good salary and benefits that start in less than 90 days; wish me a good computer (Mac G5) and legitimate software and paid holidays and my own desk -- maybe even a cubicle!

I HOPE I GET THIS FREAKING JOB.