11:40 p.m.
"reservoir dogs" is on bravo and everytime i see it, i wonder why i've waited this long to watch it again. i heart steve buscemi.
i've been thinking a great deal about my will power -- or lack thereof -- lately. i'm thinking that i need to push myself to start exercising...
ooh! best scene EVER! the scene where harvey keitel and buscemi are scrapping and they pull their guns on each other and the shot is so freakin' well composed and then mr. blond walks in....i'm inspired to post that image.
okay, exercise. i have a fancy schmancy machine upstairs that i could use, but wouldn't that just be too easy? i need to work on the following idea -- whenever i'm just sitting around and i think, "i should work out," i actually will.
we'll see.... i'd like to be svelte again someday.
11:45. i should go to bed. until my insomnia wakes me at 3 a.m. and i blog some more.
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that feeling you get when, after being awake from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m., you begin to fall asleep -- then you are startled b/c you think you are late for work, but you're not b/c it's sunday and you fall asleep knowing that you can stay in bed as long as you like. i heart that. that moment of relief after a moment of panic. delightful.
or that feeling of relief you get after a massive headache finishes up... that exhilarating moment of "i'm out of pain!"
I experience such a feeling of rebirth after a migraine finally clears away. I gingerly try little everyday things, like focussing my eyes, moving, or thinking and I feel like it's all brand new and it makes me happy, but oddly a little afraid--I guess it's anxiety that the headache isn't really gone and I don't want to get my hopes up, so I am careful and do stuff slowly and deliberately for a while. What is pure bliss is when I notice that I haven't thought about whether or not my head hurts for a while. I fucking heart that!!
Also, I heart my cats Bosco and Lucy. Bosco is watching the cursor intently right now, tail switching back and forth. He's my 16 pound baby boy!
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