sitting on the porch in the morning, having a smoke and thinking how much i'll miss the porch, the house, the neighborhood.
then i see a man across the street, walking slowly with his hand on the front of his jeans. he sees me, i look the other way. i look back and he unzips his pants, turns his back to me and begins to PEE in the yard of the house across the street. (a house up for sale, no less.) cars pass, he looks left, he looks right, he continues peeing.
broad fucking daylight. i've never seen such a thing.
after looking down at my feet i look back up and see him walking away. he had left his mark, marked his territory, and he was done.
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yesterday our realtor is leaving our house. a man approaches us/him and begins screaming "i need to ride a motorcycle!" we never found out why.
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that is all i have to report at this time.
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11 comments:
These random acts of insanity make me feel so violated and really I think they shouldn't because they random and impersonal, but they still do.
Ewww! Did you yell at him? I would have. Unless he looked menacing, maybe....
Sounds like our old neighborhood (Our new neighborhood does not have many pedestrians, so all of the peeing and stuff takes place in the passers-by's cars).
The funny part about the old neighborhood, was that it was in the oh-so-trendy part of town. We lived 2 houses down from Pottery Barn, and from NW 23rd, or as we liked to call it, "trendy-third". The juxtaposition of yuppies and super-fucking-crazy homeless people was unbelievable. But, such is Portland. The homeless crazies are concentrated within walking distance of the urban core, so they naturally spill out into the now-hot neighborhoods, like NW portland & the Pearl district. Sometimes you will see them cavorting in the fountain in MILF park, right next to the children of wealthy soccer moms (Okay, okay, so it's not REALLY called MILF park. It's Jameson Park, but since it is populated by wealthy yuppie moms & their offspring, it is commonly referred to as MILF Park).
MMMMM..... MILF park.....
Kari- How did the realtor visit go otherwise?
robbo
goldennib --- all i could think was "what if my kid was on the porch with me?"
ashley -- no yelling took place, i simply pretended not to notice, while throwing up a little in my mouth.
jege -- we're in the not-so-trendy part of town where we find it is really hard to sell a house.
robbo -- the realtor is a friend through a friend, so we're listing it as of tuesday and in the event we don't get an offer, we are in works also with Homevestors ... one of those quick turn-over kinds of places.
we have our fingers crossed for a nice, fat offer.
robbo @ amycita
loves mah amycita and robbo!
i think we may live in the same neighborhood! aside from seeing a guy flop his schlong into a trash can on the side of the rode, there has also been some spit-bathing of the bare testicles in public as well. not only attractive, but sanitary too!
I see people doing things like that every friday and saturday. But this is a pretty booze-filled town, so...
;)
.dlf.
*sniff* This makes me a little homesick for San Jose, actually. You simply can't beat the crazies (and believe me, I've tried) in Northern California. Chances are, they're literate and well-educated, as well as insane, and that, my friends, is one hell of a combination.
The most insane (insanest?) person I've ever met, though, was the "normal" looking person who stopped me on the street in Reno. And, really, I would have preferred it if he simply just asked me for money, but he wanted to tell his (hour long) story about how the government stole his idea for a steam-powered bicycle. It was the type of situation where we were afraid to walk away because (a) he was obviously crazy and (b) we were afraid that he would snap and kung-fu our asses if we tried to walk away.
Good times, good times...
All I know about San jose is its massive shithole of an airport. Is there more to it?
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