okay, so i get my ticket in the mail today -- hurrah!
and the nin album is out today -- hurrah! (but target doesn't open until 8...feh.)
it's 7 a.m. and i need breakfast. something along the lines of freshly squeezed orange juice, french toast, bacon and some scrambled eggs.
but cookie crisp and a glass of flat coke on the side will have to suffice, as our award-winning french chef has the day off.
i have a pile of clothing/towels/sheets in my room, on the floor, that i need to remove and take downstairs and wash. but it is hard to gather momentum for such an event, as i would need to go at it with a running start and there is not that much space to do that.
the cruel alarm just went off to remind me that i do need to get out of bed today. but it's warm here. and there is a dog sleeping at the foot of the bed.
stomach...growling...must....place....food....inside...
my girl got a vocal solo in her music program this week ---- yay for talented, lovely girl!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Sunday, May 01, 2005
new celebrity crush
new celebrity crush
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
we saw the remake of "amityville horror" today and i've an addition to my list of celebrity crushes...
Saturday, April 30, 2005
a real post...from me!
so i've managed to finagle a nine inch nails ticket from a kid in illinois who can't use his ticket, so I'M GOING TO THE CHICAGO SHOW ON MAY 7TH! HAPPY FREAKIN' 30TH BIRTHDAY TO ME, I SAY!
also, as of today, here are my not-smoking stats:
108 days
1621 cigarettes not smoked
$283.50 not spent
12 days, 9 hours of life saved.
isn't that worth a little something?
also, as of today, here are my not-smoking stats:
108 days
1621 cigarettes not smoked
$283.50 not spent
12 days, 9 hours of life saved.
isn't that worth a little something?
Thursday, April 28, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Sunday, April 24, 2005
stupid!
can i just say how f**king tired i am of democrats complaining about how michael moore hurt the party? that statement is what hurts the party. the democrats fear of a vocal person hurts the party. do you ever hear republicans complain about the vocal stylings of Ann Coulter? even when she says crap like this (as posted on Time.com):
"whether they are defending the soviet union or bleating for saddam hussein, liberals are always against america. they are either idiots or traitors..."
--from Treason
"there are a lot of bad republicans. there are no good democrats."
--from CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight, July 21, 2003
"i think we ought to nuke north korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. Boom!...They're a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to...the world."
- Speaking to a New York Observer reporter in January
and DEMOCRATS think that MICHAEL MOORE is the problem? holy crap.
"whether they are defending the soviet union or bleating for saddam hussein, liberals are always against america. they are either idiots or traitors..."
--from Treason
"there are a lot of bad republicans. there are no good democrats."
--from CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight, July 21, 2003
"i think we ought to nuke north korea right now just to give the rest of the world a warning. Boom!...They're a major threat. I just think it would be fun to nuke them and have it be a warning to...the world."
- Speaking to a New York Observer reporter in January
and DEMOCRATS think that MICHAEL MOORE is the problem? holy crap.
Saturday, April 23, 2005
cats, cats and more cats
holy cats in the house! however one did not make it, and abbey was the one to discover it, so there's a little bit of childhood tragedy for you. but luckily we still have 9 freakin' kittens. and we are shedding ourselves of the Impregnator. and when she is done mothering, we are shedding ourselves of the horribly insane Tinkerbell. she nearly took out Dixie's eye the other night. and by "shedding" i mean "donating to a no-kill shelter."
abbey just said that, if Dixie had lost her eye, we could have given her a pirate patch to wear. and changed her name to Willie, so she could be One-Eyed Willie (props to the Goonies).
in completely unrelated non-cat news, i have set up a bedside table/shelf like unit, and it's amazing how together one will feel when all the junk one accumulates next to a bed has a place to go. all of a sudden, i feel a little bit more like a person. good stuff. my bedside shelf contains:
1 lamp
1 electronic yahtzee game (inherited from my granny edna)
1 alarm clock
1 hair clip
1 pen cup containing many good pens
1 telephone
the second shelf holds the following books:
"Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk
"Bridget Jones' Diary"
"The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath (2 different copies, I now see)
"A Writer's Diary" by Virginia Woolf
"Abarat" by Clive Barker
"The Collected Prose of Woody Allen"
"The Huge Book of Hell" by Matt Groening
"Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified" by some guy with many letters after his name
A plain notebook
A journal that I began writing in six years ago.
so now they are all placed neatly on my bedside shelf and it feels all organized and tidy. after i put it all together i thought "THAT'S why people like being neat! it makes them feel normal!"
maybe not "normal," but a little more in control.
abbey just said that, if Dixie had lost her eye, we could have given her a pirate patch to wear. and changed her name to Willie, so she could be One-Eyed Willie (props to the Goonies).
in completely unrelated non-cat news, i have set up a bedside table/shelf like unit, and it's amazing how together one will feel when all the junk one accumulates next to a bed has a place to go. all of a sudden, i feel a little bit more like a person. good stuff. my bedside shelf contains:
1 lamp
1 electronic yahtzee game (inherited from my granny edna)
1 alarm clock
1 hair clip
1 pen cup containing many good pens
1 telephone
the second shelf holds the following books:
"Diary" by Chuck Palahniuk
"Bridget Jones' Diary"
"The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath (2 different copies, I now see)
"A Writer's Diary" by Virginia Woolf
"Abarat" by Clive Barker
"The Collected Prose of Woody Allen"
"The Huge Book of Hell" by Matt Groening
"Borderline Personality Disorder Demystified" by some guy with many letters after his name
A plain notebook
A journal that I began writing in six years ago.
so now they are all placed neatly on my bedside shelf and it feels all organized and tidy. after i put it all together i thought "THAT'S why people like being neat! it makes them feel normal!"
maybe not "normal," but a little more in control.
Monday, April 18, 2005
behold, kittens!
here we have lickey and her three kittens.
and when there are multiple mothering cats in one household, sometimes they want to "help out" the other mother cats...like, stalk them and steal a kitten or two. see evil tinkerbell below, stalking poor lickey...
and here is how excited dixie is to have more cats in the house...
and when there are multiple mothering cats in one household, sometimes they want to "help out" the other mother cats...like, stalk them and steal a kitten or two. see evil tinkerbell below, stalking poor lickey...
and here is how excited dixie is to have more cats in the house...
kitten totals:
okay, so many of you may remember me metioning crookshanks, the earless, mostly tailess cat we took in recently. and how he knocked up our THREE female cats. well all cats have officially given birth and the totals are as follows:
Tinkerbell (evil cat): 4
Wanda: 3
Lickey: 3
So we've got little boxes of kittens all over the effing house until June 1, when they can go elsewhere. So, anyone want a kitten? I'll even give a $10 "i read your blog!" discount off of the $20 asking price...
Tinkerbell (evil cat): 4
Wanda: 3
Lickey: 3
So we've got little boxes of kittens all over the effing house until June 1, when they can go elsewhere. So, anyone want a kitten? I'll even give a $10 "i read your blog!" discount off of the $20 asking price...
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
Monday, April 11, 2005
SHAME ON YOU!
SHAME ON YOU, whoever "you" are, for making this movie. we rented it b/c hey, it's funny to watch sheer government propaganda sometimes -- until the first hour is over, then you see how it's totally bastardized 9/11 for the purpose of showing how tender and caring our administration is, when they are screwing vets and screwing the lower and middle classes and screwing anyone that doesn't bankroll their campaigns.
sorry. i've gone from playing mystery science theater with this to wondering who initiated this made for tv shite.
sorry. i've gone from playing mystery science theater with this to wondering who initiated this made for tv shite.
an open letter to god. or bill gates.
please leave a bag of money on my porch so that i may buy these:
i've been good, god (or bill gates). i've not smoked for darn near 90 days! i don't (intentionally) cut off W. bumper stickered-cars off of the interstate! i brush and floss and eat my greens!
i take in sick animals, i recycle (most of the time), i'm a good mom and a funny person.
please leave 305.00 in american currency with which to pay outrageous ticket brokers who have no conscience but who i am willing to pay nevertheless b/c i'll never again have a chance to see NIN in a small venue.
thank you. and i apologize for not always believing in you (god) and calling you "satan" (bill gates).
i've been good, god (or bill gates). i've not smoked for darn near 90 days! i don't (intentionally) cut off W. bumper stickered-cars off of the interstate! i brush and floss and eat my greens!
i take in sick animals, i recycle (most of the time), i'm a good mom and a funny person.
please leave 305.00 in american currency with which to pay outrageous ticket brokers who have no conscience but who i am willing to pay nevertheless b/c i'll never again have a chance to see NIN in a small venue.
thank you. and i apologize for not always believing in you (god) and calling you "satan" (bill gates).
cadaver politik
THE DEBATES CONTINUE. and there is a whole lotta opinion on abortion from many who will never have one, so girls, chime in!
Saturday, April 09, 2005
health care debate
if you have a moment, you should check in on the debate on health care on the CADAVER POLITIK blog. chime in your two cents. hell, chime in your fifty cents. come on, i know you're good for it.
this post will be no good.
so i was adjusting my hair clip to a better fit and i heard the sad sound of plastic breaking right into my very hair! so now it's an ill-fitting hair clip. it's an ugly hair clip anyhow....
but it does serve the purpose of "hair out of face immediately" without much fuss. however it PALES in comparison to the dandy of a hair clip from many years past...
that's right. the banana clip. but to utilize the banana clip, i would need to also be wearing acid-washed jeans and L.A. Gear hitops. and probably some stretch pants with some scrunchy socks.
and, as a side note, when you are searching google images for "banana clips," you will see, in addition to banana clips and hairstyles from the 1980s, machine guns. true story.
but it does serve the purpose of "hair out of face immediately" without much fuss. however it PALES in comparison to the dandy of a hair clip from many years past...
that's right. the banana clip. but to utilize the banana clip, i would need to also be wearing acid-washed jeans and L.A. Gear hitops. and probably some stretch pants with some scrunchy socks.
and, as a side note, when you are searching google images for "banana clips," you will see, in addition to banana clips and hairstyles from the 1980s, machine guns. true story.
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
Saturday, April 02, 2005
greetings from da springs
abbey LOOOOOVES hiking around the garden of the gods. LOOOVES IT! luckily shane enjoys hiking, too. in my haste to prepare for this trip, i didn't pack the cable necessary to download photos taken thus far, so those will not be here for a spell. but good times all around the springs! and did we "spring ahead" with our time today? we're trying to figure out what time it is...
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
(it's almost) time for me to fly
and now you can all have the shitty REO Speedwagon song stuck in your head like i do b/c of this crap oldies station on at work right now. i am enjoying a longer lunch break than usual. which i like to do but can't very often.
so we're heading off to denver tomorrow afternoon, where mr. shane august hansen will pick us up and cart us back to his humble abode in colorado springs for the weekend. yay! vacation! all i've ever wanted.... oh bugger, i can't stop this.
and today saw the first thunderstorm of spring and it was GREAT!
tomorrow will be the first time that abbey will be on a plane....hopefully she'll like it and hopefully i can hide the fact that i feel horrible during that half hour process preparing to land.
tickets to colorado: 222 per person
snacks to take on flight b/c they airlines don't offer free meals: 3.99
not vomitting in the plane: priceless.
so we're heading off to denver tomorrow afternoon, where mr. shane august hansen will pick us up and cart us back to his humble abode in colorado springs for the weekend. yay! vacation! all i've ever wanted.... oh bugger, i can't stop this.
and today saw the first thunderstorm of spring and it was GREAT!
tomorrow will be the first time that abbey will be on a plane....hopefully she'll like it and hopefully i can hide the fact that i feel horrible during that half hour process preparing to land.
tickets to colorado: 222 per person
snacks to take on flight b/c they airlines don't offer free meals: 3.99
not vomitting in the plane: priceless.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Saturday, March 26, 2005
the quest for chicago nin tix
okay, so i just bid on ebay for 2 nin tickets -- there are only 2.75 days left of the auction (it just began at 9.99 today) and i'm sure i'll be outbid at some point in time, but i had to give it that old college try. (and that is coming from girl who has been a college junior for three years.) we'll see what happens. maybe it will be an easter miracle. or maybe i'll just spend may 7 at home and pissy instead of in chicago at the nin concert.
what i'm doing tonight
we're going to watch "lost in la mancha." and i'm having a vodka/cranberry. and i'm getting caught up on too much laundry left undone, while rediscovering clothes i forgot i had. dustin is listening to rap in ye olde computer room. dixie is enjoying the nice spring evening on the porch.
i think i have the opposite mindset about my body than i used to have. in high school and early college i'd see myself and i'd see a fatty fatty bo batty. now i see myself in a mirror and i by no means see someone svelte, but i don't look THAT bad. well, i just caught a glimpse of myself in the background of a photo and HOLY CRAP. thoughts i had at that moment:
"did i NOT realize that there was a camera in the vicinity? am i not in the habit of sucking in my stomach? wait...i was sucking in my stomach and i STILL look like that?"
ahh, neuroses.
i think i have the opposite mindset about my body than i used to have. in high school and early college i'd see myself and i'd see a fatty fatty bo batty. now i see myself in a mirror and i by no means see someone svelte, but i don't look THAT bad. well, i just caught a glimpse of myself in the background of a photo and HOLY CRAP. thoughts i had at that moment:
"did i NOT realize that there was a camera in the vicinity? am i not in the habit of sucking in my stomach? wait...i was sucking in my stomach and i STILL look like that?"
ahh, neuroses.
quote of the day
name the movie this comes from:
"...and you don't want us exposing ourselves!"
hint: a hugely underrated sequel.
"...and you don't want us exposing ourselves!"
hint: a hugely underrated sequel.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
botox!
N0487150.TIF
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
this picture -- which i found while looking for clip art at work today -- freakin' rocks! go botox lady!
just in case you still liked fast food...
okay, i had a tuna fish sandwich once -- homemade -- so when i found a hair in it (i'm gagging as i remember this) i knew it wasn't a tragedy, but the hair in my throat made me vomit.
now replace the sandwich with chili from Wendy's. HOLY CRAP.
nothing can make that okay. nothing.
now replace the sandwich with chili from Wendy's. HOLY CRAP.
nothing can make that okay. nothing.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
it seems like only yesterday....
that dustin was 27. oh wait, it was.....this calls for a boldface font!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DUSTIN!!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DUSTIN!!!!!
Sunday, March 20, 2005
an odd sensation
not a good sensation. maybe the word "melancholy" should come to mind. it's as though i haven't even the energy to do much at all. in fact, this typing seems exhausting, therefore i shall watch the movie i've just brought home from blockbuster -- "american nightmare" -- i don't expect much greatness, just some minor distraction from my dreary mood.
why dreary? not sure. but dustin just did something really funny.
tomorrow is therapy. tomorrow is work and there seems to be unrest in the midst of my department, some drama that i don't wish to be a part of, but being that i work there, i will be in the midst of it. nuts. i just want to put the newspaper together, send it off and be on my way home. is that so much to ask?
my throat hurts. i think i have the dreaded...um....throat hurt. i know what'll help... booze! only kidding...i'm cracking open a 20 oz. of coke as i write this, b/c THAT will help a sore throat -- an acidic, carbonated beverage just loaded with sugar.
this is me too lazy to move my fingers around the keyboard in an understandable manner...osajkfd;lnmlskjz;cnvm ,l;kjzncvm, nifjhxvbiujscsojohihjivhxvjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
jkvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvxzwoooooooszjkxnmc,sbfc;xknvmbv sihzjkclhbvouwrghujvkxz;.kjvhh
or it could be some obscure language that only I know.
why dreary? not sure. but dustin just did something really funny.
tomorrow is therapy. tomorrow is work and there seems to be unrest in the midst of my department, some drama that i don't wish to be a part of, but being that i work there, i will be in the midst of it. nuts. i just want to put the newspaper together, send it off and be on my way home. is that so much to ask?
my throat hurts. i think i have the dreaded...um....throat hurt. i know what'll help... booze! only kidding...i'm cracking open a 20 oz. of coke as i write this, b/c THAT will help a sore throat -- an acidic, carbonated beverage just loaded with sugar.
this is me too lazy to move my fingers around the keyboard in an understandable manner...osajkfd;lnmlskjz;cnvm ,l;kjzncvm, nifjhxvbiujscsojohihjivhxvjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
jkvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvxzwoooooooszjkxnmc,sbfc;xknvmbv sihzjkclhbvouwrghujvkxz;.kjvhh
or it could be some obscure language that only I know.
sunday, sunday, sunday
my throat hurts. it's sunday and i've spent the better part of my day (after dad and leona went back to n.d.) browsing while all the while lacking the critical decision-making skills necessary to actually make a purchase. then i purchased. hurrah!
now we are using a dvd player cleaning dealio and it is taking a long time, which leads me to believe that:
1. our player is filthy
2. the cleaner is non-functional
3. we don't know how to work this damn thing
i'll go with "all of the above" on the lil' quiz.
i'm sleepy.
last night we had some folks over to our humble abode to celebrate dustin's upcoming 28th birthday -- note that his cadaver politik blog (linked at right) has a fresh and shiny new look to it...
time to watch an eddie izzard disc we've not seen...hurrah, twice!
now we are using a dvd player cleaning dealio and it is taking a long time, which leads me to believe that:
1. our player is filthy
2. the cleaner is non-functional
3. we don't know how to work this damn thing
i'll go with "all of the above" on the lil' quiz.
i'm sleepy.
last night we had some folks over to our humble abode to celebrate dustin's upcoming 28th birthday -- note that his cadaver politik blog (linked at right) has a fresh and shiny new look to it...
time to watch an eddie izzard disc we've not seen...hurrah, twice!
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
gift ideas, anyone?
i just blogged a super long blog. and then it didn't post after thinking about it for a minute or two. and now i've nothing to say. shite.
oh...dust's birthday is on the 22nd...any gift ideas, anyone? buying a couple of $20 hookers is SOOO last year.
oh...dust's birthday is on the 22nd...any gift ideas, anyone? buying a couple of $20 hookers is SOOO last year.
awww, nuts.
i just blogged a super long blog. and then it didn't post after thinking about it for a minute or two. and now i've nothing to say. shite.
oh...dust's birthday is on the 22nd...any gift ideas, anyone? buying a couple of $20 hookers is SOOO last year.
oh...dust's birthday is on the 22nd...any gift ideas, anyone? buying a couple of $20 hookers is SOOO last year.
Monday, March 14, 2005
what a GREAT production day
the following is a version of that stupid aol commercial, but it's my real life today:
"i hope that on my tightest production deadline day, my hard drive fries like my pale skin in the hot desert sun."
"i hope that on my tightest production deadline day, my hard drive fries like my pale skin in the hot desert sun."
Sunday, March 13, 2005
nick and jessica have no fat friends
it's true. at least not any that are on the show. and it's been said that this is their last season of "newlyweds," which means there might still be time for them to show that they do, in fact, have fat friends.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
2 freakin' months
2 freakin' months
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
and it seems like only yesterday that this really sucked. oh wait, it was only yesterday. anyhow, go me.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
a funny comment
okay, so i emailed a friend of ours a NIN audio link and this was his reponse...
Subject line: Giddy Boner
Thanx I hadn't heard that yet! "The line begins to blur" gave me a giddy
boner. AAAAhhh! I'm so excited I could poo!"
AWESOME!!! and comments like that is EXACTLY why he is invited to every party we have!
Subject line: Giddy Boner
Thanx I hadn't heard that yet! "The line begins to blur" gave me a giddy
boner. AAAAhhh! I'm so excited I could poo!"
AWESOME!!! and comments like that is EXACTLY why he is invited to every party we have!
fine! i give in!
okay, here is a synopsis of my post that i deleted:
"it's sunday night. i'm really drunk off of wine...blah blah blah, something witty, something humiliating, something self loathing, blah blah blah." it's as though it was never deleted at all.
"it's sunday night. i'm really drunk off of wine...blah blah blah, something witty, something humiliating, something self loathing, blah blah blah." it's as though it was never deleted at all.
Monday, March 07, 2005
B.U.I.
blogging under the influence is a bad thing, therefore i've deleted the that post to minimize the amount of people who see me as a total asshat.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Friday, March 04, 2005
sniff..sniff...
dustin tried ticketmaster, but those FUCKING WHORE TICKET BROKERS and everyone else in the free world beat him out in just a few minutes. and i can't afford to pay 100+ per ticket from an evil broker, so i'm missing the concert. shite.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
smoking stats
Time Smoke-Free:
49 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes and 57 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked:
589
Lifetime Saved: 4 days, 11 hours
Money Saved: $88.20
hmmm....what would be a good reward for me? i'm thinking maybe some freakin' NIN tickets if i can beat out the rest of the free world on friday at 5 p.m.
woke at 5 a.m. today after a dream that i was pregnant but without health insurance. maybe calling that a "dream" is not entirely accurate.
i should start my day. anyone have any suggestions for checking gmail on a mac os 9 system? i heart gmail, but it's a bit of a snobby program.
49 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes and 57 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked:
589
Lifetime Saved: 4 days, 11 hours
Money Saved: $88.20
hmmm....what would be a good reward for me? i'm thinking maybe some freakin' NIN tickets if i can beat out the rest of the free world on friday at 5 p.m.
woke at 5 a.m. today after a dream that i was pregnant but without health insurance. maybe calling that a "dream" is not entirely accurate.
i should start my day. anyone have any suggestions for checking gmail on a mac os 9 system? i heart gmail, but it's a bit of a snobby program.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
BASTARDS!!!
people who buy tickets for concerts that are on presale for the hardcore-list-belonging fans and then SCALP THEM ON EBAY for more than THREE TIMES THEIR PRICE should be BEATEN AND BEATEN AND BEATEN!!!
in answer to your question, no, we didn't get tickets today... the presale tix sold out before we got some. so i guess we'll try again on friday. but i'm really really pissy about those fuckers on ebay who are scalping tix that should have gone to MEEEEEEE!
fuckers. grrr.
SHAME ON YOU!!!!! A PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSES!
in answer to your question, no, we didn't get tickets today... the presale tix sold out before we got some. so i guess we'll try again on friday. but i'm really really pissy about those fuckers on ebay who are scalping tix that should have gone to MEEEEEEE!
fuckers. grrr.
SHAME ON YOU!!!!! A PLAGUE ON YOUR HOUSES!
Monday, February 28, 2005
for f**k's sake!!!
some bad people need bad things to happen to them. i guess we can only hope for prison justice, right? i hope this bad man drops the soap.
NIN saga, part 2
so tomorrow at 4 p.m., dustin will be sitting at the computer, hopefully accessing the site for the presale tickets for the may 7 show in chicago. i hope. i hope. i
hope.
on a completely unrelated topic i saw ye olde shrink this evening, as i do every monday at 6 p.m. beginning next monday we will start to focus more on what that bad person did and how it has affected and complicated every damn part of my life, in an effort to make it not do that anymore. so yeah, good times all around and my blog will certainly reflect what is going on in that aspect. so that's where that is at.
i think i'll fall asleep watching "garden state" tonight. i like the garden state. i like the scene where largeman tells sam that he likes her-- they have just gone swimming and they are sitting in front of a fireplace. it's very uncomplicated, very simple and well done. that's how girls like to hear it. it was written very well because it seems so natural.
the new job is going pretty well -- i put together a newspaper today (mostly by myself, but with some assistance from coworkers) with not too many pages of editorial (10 or so) and it was done and sent to the printer before deadline (1.5 hours before) so i feel pretty good about that. and now i have three days of ad building and then friday i have a paper all on my own. GULP.
back to the chicago trip in may -- it occured to me that the concert is a mere TWO DAYS before my 30th birthday. 30. and i'm okay with that. i think it has something to do with having a child -- it's a little strange not only being a mother who is younger than most of the moms at her kid's school, but i look very young. i don't look like i'm closing in on 30. i was carded when i went to see "freddy vs. jason." (what's worse? being carded for that movie or actually paying money for it?)
i need to sleep. i need to stay asleep through the night. i need to not wake up at 3 a.m. anymore. i need........................................................
hope.
on a completely unrelated topic i saw ye olde shrink this evening, as i do every monday at 6 p.m. beginning next monday we will start to focus more on what that bad person did and how it has affected and complicated every damn part of my life, in an effort to make it not do that anymore. so yeah, good times all around and my blog will certainly reflect what is going on in that aspect. so that's where that is at.
i think i'll fall asleep watching "garden state" tonight. i like the garden state. i like the scene where largeman tells sam that he likes her-- they have just gone swimming and they are sitting in front of a fireplace. it's very uncomplicated, very simple and well done. that's how girls like to hear it. it was written very well because it seems so natural.
the new job is going pretty well -- i put together a newspaper today (mostly by myself, but with some assistance from coworkers) with not too many pages of editorial (10 or so) and it was done and sent to the printer before deadline (1.5 hours before) so i feel pretty good about that. and now i have three days of ad building and then friday i have a paper all on my own. GULP.
back to the chicago trip in may -- it occured to me that the concert is a mere TWO DAYS before my 30th birthday. 30. and i'm okay with that. i think it has something to do with having a child -- it's a little strange not only being a mother who is younger than most of the moms at her kid's school, but i look very young. i don't look like i'm closing in on 30. i was carded when i went to see "freddy vs. jason." (what's worse? being carded for that movie or actually paying money for it?)
i need to sleep. i need to stay asleep through the night. i need to not wake up at 3 a.m. anymore. i need........................................................
Sunday, February 27, 2005
YAYYYY!!!!!...oh wait, i'm poor.
NIN will be playing a couple of shows in chicago on may 6 and 7 and, because i've got some instant gratification problems and don't want to wait until trent gets his arse into the twin cities, i'm going to see about making that happen.
big bag of money would do some good right now.
anyhow, extra-special early ticket sales are going to happen and by god, i need to see that freakin' show. it's at the congress theatre -- any idea what that place is like?
trying right now to decide if i'm going to attend an oscars-type party (where i'll know only a couple of the people and therefore will have a moment of anxiety) or just drink wine and eat the best dip i've ever made...hmmm. social vs. antisocial. what's a girl to do?
if there is a god, should i ask him to strike down starr jones? she just asked leo if he became a germaphobe after being in "the aviator." please god, if you are there, strike her down but swiftly.
big bag of money would do some good right now.
anyhow, extra-special early ticket sales are going to happen and by god, i need to see that freakin' show. it's at the congress theatre -- any idea what that place is like?
trying right now to decide if i'm going to attend an oscars-type party (where i'll know only a couple of the people and therefore will have a moment of anxiety) or just drink wine and eat the best dip i've ever made...hmmm. social vs. antisocial. what's a girl to do?
if there is a god, should i ask him to strike down starr jones? she just asked leo if he became a germaphobe after being in "the aviator." please god, if you are there, strike her down but swiftly.
what a great shot.
since you asked...
11:40 p.m.
"reservoir dogs" is on bravo and everytime i see it, i wonder why i've waited this long to watch it again. i heart steve buscemi.
i've been thinking a great deal about my will power -- or lack thereof -- lately. i'm thinking that i need to push myself to start exercising...
ooh! best scene EVER! the scene where harvey keitel and buscemi are scrapping and they pull their guns on each other and the shot is so freakin' well composed and then mr. blond walks in....i'm inspired to post that image.
okay, exercise. i have a fancy schmancy machine upstairs that i could use, but wouldn't that just be too easy? i need to work on the following idea -- whenever i'm just sitting around and i think, "i should work out," i actually will.
we'll see.... i'd like to be svelte again someday.
11:45. i should go to bed. until my insomnia wakes me at 3 a.m. and i blog some more.
"reservoir dogs" is on bravo and everytime i see it, i wonder why i've waited this long to watch it again. i heart steve buscemi.
i've been thinking a great deal about my will power -- or lack thereof -- lately. i'm thinking that i need to push myself to start exercising...
ooh! best scene EVER! the scene where harvey keitel and buscemi are scrapping and they pull their guns on each other and the shot is so freakin' well composed and then mr. blond walks in....i'm inspired to post that image.
okay, exercise. i have a fancy schmancy machine upstairs that i could use, but wouldn't that just be too easy? i need to work on the following idea -- whenever i'm just sitting around and i think, "i should work out," i actually will.
we'll see.... i'd like to be svelte again someday.
11:45. i should go to bed. until my insomnia wakes me at 3 a.m. and i blog some more.
and the night moves on
what a saturday night...drinking white zin and watching "the commitments." and wondering, as usual, if i spelled the word "commitment" correctly. there is a dog next to me, taking up the better part of the couch and snoring. my neck itches. i like thin mints. this blog has no purpose.
and our sunday plans? well we're having a bit of a brunch-type deal at my sister's in eagan...and we allll love going to eagan. but it's good fun to see the kids and now that i'm finally over the flu that was living off of me like a paraside, i can again allow aforementioned kids to chase me down and beat the pulp out of me like they often do. but only because they love crazy auntie kari. kids are great that way.
still not smoking, and today it was evident to all who encountered me (dustin & abbey) that i was cranky, and on the way to take abbey to her dad's, i made some comment about how long i've not smoked and the following dialogue took place:
abbey: mom, do you really really want to start smoking again?
me: um, kind of. i miss it but i don't want to be stuck smoking.
abbey: mom, you don't have to lie, because if you really want to smoke again, you can. i don't want you to be upset.
that kid actually gave me a get out of jail free card for going back to smoking, but i told her that i appreciated the thought, but that i didn't want to start again because i want to be around with her for as long as i possibly can. and how much of an ass would that have made me? "abbey said i could start again if i really needed to, so i did." a huge ass i would have been. so here's to another day of not smoking.
and our sunday plans? well we're having a bit of a brunch-type deal at my sister's in eagan...and we allll love going to eagan. but it's good fun to see the kids and now that i'm finally over the flu that was living off of me like a paraside, i can again allow aforementioned kids to chase me down and beat the pulp out of me like they often do. but only because they love crazy auntie kari. kids are great that way.
still not smoking, and today it was evident to all who encountered me (dustin & abbey) that i was cranky, and on the way to take abbey to her dad's, i made some comment about how long i've not smoked and the following dialogue took place:
abbey: mom, do you really really want to start smoking again?
me: um, kind of. i miss it but i don't want to be stuck smoking.
abbey: mom, you don't have to lie, because if you really want to smoke again, you can. i don't want you to be upset.
that kid actually gave me a get out of jail free card for going back to smoking, but i told her that i appreciated the thought, but that i didn't want to start again because i want to be around with her for as long as i possibly can. and how much of an ass would that have made me? "abbey said i could start again if i really needed to, so i did." a huge ass i would have been. so here's to another day of not smoking.
Saturday, February 26, 2005
cookies...cookies...
zach....braff......on.....bravo.....spirit awards....so handsome....so handsome..can't function....
Best First Feature
"Garden State"
nice work, mr. braff. very cool.
so the oscars are tomorrow night and i'm fairly excited to watch b/c i'm not a terribly exciting person and famous people are entertaining. except for starr jones. she should be flayed alive.
david duchovny is on tv now. from zach braff to david duchovny on the screen....nothing is left of my mind.
Best First Feature
"Garden State"
nice work, mr. braff. very cool.
so the oscars are tomorrow night and i'm fairly excited to watch b/c i'm not a terribly exciting person and famous people are entertaining. except for starr jones. she should be flayed alive.
david duchovny is on tv now. from zach braff to david duchovny on the screen....nothing is left of my mind.
my oscar predictions
okay, i've not seen many of the movies up for oscars, but i'll go ahead and make some half-assed guesses. not necessarily what i'd personally vote for, but what i think will make the cut:
best film: the aviator (which i heard was beautifully shot and lovely to behold...but horribly, horribly boring. and 5 min. of gwen stefani is 5 min. too many.)
best lead actor: clint eastwood
best supporting actor: alan alda (b/c he's so f**king boss, and the world will finally see that)
best lead actress: hilary swank (but it should be kate winslet)
best supporting actress: hmmm....toss up...probably cate blanchett. (which is fine by me. but i like laura linney. and i like natalie portman.)
animated feature: the incredibles
best director: million dollar baby (i think they'll screw marty again.)
screenplay: eternal sunshine (it better f**king be this)
adapted screenplay: million dollar baby (this will be clint's year, despite rush limbaugh)
visual effects: spiderman 2
if "accidentally in love" wins the oscar for best song, i will vomit.
best film: the aviator (which i heard was beautifully shot and lovely to behold...but horribly, horribly boring. and 5 min. of gwen stefani is 5 min. too many.)
best lead actor: clint eastwood
best supporting actor: alan alda (b/c he's so f**king boss, and the world will finally see that)
best lead actress: hilary swank (but it should be kate winslet)
best supporting actress: hmmm....toss up...probably cate blanchett. (which is fine by me. but i like laura linney. and i like natalie portman.)
animated feature: the incredibles
best director: million dollar baby (i think they'll screw marty again.)
screenplay: eternal sunshine (it better f**king be this)
adapted screenplay: million dollar baby (this will be clint's year, despite rush limbaugh)
visual effects: spiderman 2
if "accidentally in love" wins the oscar for best song, i will vomit.
the funniest thing i've read today.
my sister meg finished an email to me with this:
"talk to you later alligator sistah friend my homie g unit slice with a side of fries or potato chips if you're at one of those places that serves chips instead of fries but not one of those places that wants to be british and serves fries but just calls them 'chips' like with fish sticks or something."
...and i can't stop laughing. i just called to see if she was several sheets to the wind. she is not. she's just tired and therefore very funny. my sister rocks.
"talk to you later alligator sistah friend my homie g unit slice with a side of fries or potato chips if you're at one of those places that serves chips instead of fries but not one of those places that wants to be british and serves fries but just calls them 'chips' like with fish sticks or something."
...and i can't stop laughing. i just called to see if she was several sheets to the wind. she is not. she's just tired and therefore very funny. my sister rocks.
Friday, February 25, 2005
horrendous.
when he was on the phone? with a GRANDCHILD in the house at the time? i agree with jege, i don't care how good a writer he was, THIS is just wrong.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
day what?
Quit Date: 1/12/2005 8:00:00 AM
Time Smoke-Free: 43 days, 14 hours, 5 minutes and 18 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 523
Lifetime Saved: 3 days, 23 hours
Money Saved: $77.40
Time Smoke-Free: 43 days, 14 hours, 5 minutes and 18 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 523
Lifetime Saved: 3 days, 23 hours
Money Saved: $77.40
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
yikes!
THIS was not very far from our house. icky. after work i encountered several roadblocks. dustin had called me earlier to tell me that he saw a couple of armed and helmeted cops with a dog in tow searching around our block. icky. luckily all have been apprehended but i still feel pretty creeped out, esp. with the fact that there are three schools in the area that had to be locked down. city living is wacko.
day one of the new gig was very good -- i like the people and it's always nice working on a mac again. even if it is using quark 4. at least it's not quark 6.
and 13 minutes to get to work this a.m.? KICK ASS!
day one of the new gig was very good -- i like the people and it's always nice working on a mac again. even if it is using quark 4. at least it's not quark 6.
and 13 minutes to get to work this a.m.? KICK ASS!
Monday, February 21, 2005
Sunday, February 20, 2005
THIS BITES.
and no, i'm not just talking about watching "8 mile" on VH-1...but that was a good guess. i'm speaking of NOT SMOKING. (but the performances of both kim basinger and britany murphy are pretty horrible and take the sting out of how shitty i'm feeling.)
and we got a fuckload of snow last night. and i can't stop cussing. at least i don't have a monster commute anymore. that's good. and i have a couple of days to chill before the new gig begins.
and we got a fuckload of snow last night. and i can't stop cussing. at least i don't have a monster commute anymore. that's good. and i have a couple of days to chill before the new gig begins.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
to all decent canadians:
i used to think that, b/c every canadian i knew was a cool, decent person, that most canadians are that way. therefore all the cool, decent canadians i know should make this one give up his canadian citizenship.. and he's earned two mentions in my blog in one day...what a record.
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
a canadian who loves bush
visit THIS fellow and see if he'd be willing to trade citizenships with someone who doesn't have the benefit of canadian health care. yeah, he'll be really glad he said "go bush!" when w. finishes taking us to hell in his own little handbasket.
terror status: f**ked
did you know you can have the color coded terror alert status on your blog? visit the following link if you are interested:
http://www.terror-alert.com/
i don't know if it'd be funny or weird to do it, so i'll be a follower and see who bites first.
http://www.terror-alert.com/
i don't know if it'd be funny or weird to do it, so i'll be a follower and see who bites first.
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
VISIT THIS SITE NOW
maybe you've all seen it already, but THIS is new to me and it's F-U-N FUN! in fact, the following audio post will be an example of what fun really is!
Monday, February 14, 2005
happy valentine's day!
happy valentine's day!
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
here's a little something i threw together for dustin's card. i'm such a softy!
Sunday, February 13, 2005
jennifer grey should have left her nose alone
so i've turned the channel to the USA network and what do i see? let's just say that i'm like the wind, and i've had the time of my life with my hungry eyes.
so what did this movie achieve for girls all around the country? it made girls want to dance across narrow bridges across streams and practice lifts up in the air of muscular men. but it did coin the phrase "nobody puts baby in the corner," so let's thank them for that.
i'm jonesing for mexican food. and a cool coca-cola (product placement). how can i make that happen? who can make mexican food magically appear on my porch? probably the same people who can make a bag of money magically appear in my hand.
oh, jerry orbach! sweet jerry orbach, we miss you! the stern, protective father figure to jennifer grey's "Baby." the clever, witty det. briscoe on "law & order," especially the one where he used the phrase "punchin' the clown."
so what did this movie achieve for girls all around the country? it made girls want to dance across narrow bridges across streams and practice lifts up in the air of muscular men. but it did coin the phrase "nobody puts baby in the corner," so let's thank them for that.
i'm jonesing for mexican food. and a cool coca-cola (product placement). how can i make that happen? who can make mexican food magically appear on my porch? probably the same people who can make a bag of money magically appear in my hand.
oh, jerry orbach! sweet jerry orbach, we miss you! the stern, protective father figure to jennifer grey's "Baby." the clever, witty det. briscoe on "law & order," especially the one where he used the phrase "punchin' the clown."
me and the sister
me and the sister
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
awwwww....no place says family togetherness quite like the cabooze bar. isn't my sister cute?
Saturday, February 12, 2005
funny site!
when drifting through blogger sites, you come across people who find sites like THIS. love it. live it. praise uncle jesse.
Friday, February 11, 2005
a day of "rest"
well abbey had the sick this morning, so a trip to the doctor's office and several hours later, we're just chillin' like villains.
why do i say that? i'm neither chillin', nor am i a villain.
anyhow, abbey is feeling a little bit better, my eyes have healed up a bit and i'm wearing the contacts, and it's the weekend. hurrah!
and the plan for ze veekend?
well, my friend reed is in the White Iron Band, and they have a CD release party lined up at the cabooze tomorrow night. and on sunday i'll spend a good portion of the day regretting all the second hand smoke i'll take in from the cabooze, without actually taking in any first-hand smoke.
tomorrow will be 31 days without smoking. one month. i'm half way to my shuffle.
oh! i was offered a job from the good folks at white bear press -- and i've accepted it, especially since it's only 10 freakin' miles from my house. JOY! no more horrendous commmute! i'll miss the nice folks i work with currently, but this commute is slowly sucking my life away. i don't like that a bit. so i'll be doing two weekly papers a week, and the other three days a week i'll be working on ads. nice! the pay is less but the driving is WAY LESS, so that is high on my list right now. i begin on the 23rd of february.
and there's always a huge amount of stress involved with a new job, b/c i'm horrible at meeting people, i'm horrible at "fitting in" the way employers like, and i'm just generally self-conscious.
but i'm fast at layout, and isn't that more important that being liked? kinda.
why do i say that? i'm neither chillin', nor am i a villain.
anyhow, abbey is feeling a little bit better, my eyes have healed up a bit and i'm wearing the contacts, and it's the weekend. hurrah!
and the plan for ze veekend?
well, my friend reed is in the White Iron Band, and they have a CD release party lined up at the cabooze tomorrow night. and on sunday i'll spend a good portion of the day regretting all the second hand smoke i'll take in from the cabooze, without actually taking in any first-hand smoke.
tomorrow will be 31 days without smoking. one month. i'm half way to my shuffle.
oh! i was offered a job from the good folks at white bear press -- and i've accepted it, especially since it's only 10 freakin' miles from my house. JOY! no more horrendous commmute! i'll miss the nice folks i work with currently, but this commute is slowly sucking my life away. i don't like that a bit. so i'll be doing two weekly papers a week, and the other three days a week i'll be working on ads. nice! the pay is less but the driving is WAY LESS, so that is high on my list right now. i begin on the 23rd of february.
and there's always a huge amount of stress involved with a new job, b/c i'm horrible at meeting people, i'm horrible at "fitting in" the way employers like, and i'm just generally self-conscious.
but i'm fast at layout, and isn't that more important that being liked? kinda.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
i saw an idea for a post on a random blog, and now i've stolen it.
"post a memory you have of me. anything at all. good, bad, ugly. i don't care if we never talk or if i saw you five minutes ago."
bring it.
and, as an added bonus, i'll follow your comments with memories of my own. isn't that nifty, interactive fun?
"post a memory you have of me. anything at all. good, bad, ugly. i don't care if we never talk or if i saw you five minutes ago."
bring it.
and, as an added bonus, i'll follow your comments with memories of my own. isn't that nifty, interactive fun?
one less bag of money to find
remember how all i needed was to find a big bag of money?
well HE beat me to it. nuts.
well HE beat me to it. nuts.
Tuesday, February 08, 2005
what a long fucking day
i can't believe it is only six minutes past four. holy crap. and i have nothing more to add to my lame post.
Monday, February 07, 2005
no glasses!
no glasses!
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
i've got no glasses on! yet i can see! and i can again wear a hat and not look like a fool! good luck getting this hat off of my head...
i touch my eyeballs
it's true: i have contacts..woo hoo! and holy crapola, it took a really long time to get the freakin' things in. i'm all thumbs, really. so i celebrated by buying a delightful hat for THREE BUCKS and it looks neat. especially sans glasses. i'll post a picture of the best hat EVER very soon. and then i'll post items of substance. promise.
cat sans tail
cat sans tail
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
this is crookshank (maybe). he has no tops to his ears and is missing all but four inches of his tail, i'm guessing due to frostbite. he was found close to 94 near st. cloud and rescued by our friend, mary. he is now slowing becoming healthy at our house. sad kitty, but happy to be out of the snow.
Friday, February 04, 2005
the funniest thing i've written today
i commented in a blog on leingirlz3 today, regarding the horrible phrase, "it's all good." and this is what i wrote. and it made me giggle so much i'm posting it here to toot my own horn:
"nothing is all good. even when it is good, the statement "all good" makes it bad. if you have to say "it's all good," obviously it is not. otherwise you would not have to state the obvious. unless you are a superhero and your only power is, in fact, stating the obvious. and for that i salute you, captain obvious."
i'm so lame. but it made me giggle.
"nothing is all good. even when it is good, the statement "all good" makes it bad. if you have to say "it's all good," obviously it is not. otherwise you would not have to state the obvious. unless you are a superhero and your only power is, in fact, stating the obvious. and for that i salute you, captain obvious."
i'm so lame. but it made me giggle.
the funniest thing i've read today
this from jege of lein girlz3:
"...my intense hatred for the lemon-fresh pledge-iness of ginger. It's tied with the soapy, food-contaminating, detectable-even-in-1-part-per-billion vileness of cilantro."
perfect.
"...my intense hatred for the lemon-fresh pledge-iness of ginger. It's tied with the soapy, food-contaminating, detectable-even-in-1-part-per-billion vileness of cilantro."
perfect.
soothing vs. not soothing
a person once said to me that the sound of a metal slinky was soothing. to that person i say that the sound of a metal slinky could throw another person into a homicidal rage. especially if that person was weening herself off a nicotine patch.
that is all.
that is all.
add on to my list of things i detest
i'm so tired of gwen stefani and her crappy image that is EVERYWHERE. i shall boycott "the aviator" solely on the fact that she is in it for two minutes.
stealing from jege
props to the lein girlz site for this idea: things that i don't like.
1. clowns. not terribly original, but there's probably a reason that gajillions of people find clowns to be creepy, disturbing and sad. and that was before tim curry was "pennywise."
2. cilantro. i'm right there with you on this, jege -- it's fucking wrong and i'm sick of being told that i haven't "given it a chance." i gave it a chance...it gave me a mouthful of vomit. screw you, cilantro!
now because of the "garden state" soundtrack i'm listening to and how dreamy it is, i'm inspired to list things i like:
1. abbey. the only truly good thing to result from my existence. i think she's got a bit of a cold right now and she fell asleep really fast tonight. but i just stayed to watch her sleep for a while and, every now and then, i can still picture her as a baby, even though she's nearly 9.
2. my flannel sheets. the more i use and wash them, the more comfy they become. they have a floral pattern which usually is not me, but the pattern makes them look like they were found in a grandmother's attic.
3. on the topic of bedding, my blankets. both were made by my granny edna (i miss you, granny) and even though i have plenty of blankets, i feel extra nice with these.
4. dustin -- especially when he laughs at something you would never expect, like a scene in Bridget Jones 2. and when he raps.
5. this soundtrack. although it's not the usual kari-type of music, it's really grown on me. probably has something to do with the fact that i loved the movie.
6. my ibook. sweet, sweet ibook.
7. the idea of having an ipod.
8. the tax return i'll be receiving.
9. my tattoos. except the astrological one on my back. a tattoo at 19 is a mistake, i realize. being a taurus meant a great deal to me then; now it means shite.
10. the first moment after a migraine or a toothache when you realize you are no longer in pain -- how exhilarating that moment is.
11. the cool underside of a pillow.
12. photoshop
blog question: what are your top three favorite things? (list more if you are so inclined.)
1. clowns. not terribly original, but there's probably a reason that gajillions of people find clowns to be creepy, disturbing and sad. and that was before tim curry was "pennywise."
2. cilantro. i'm right there with you on this, jege -- it's fucking wrong and i'm sick of being told that i haven't "given it a chance." i gave it a chance...it gave me a mouthful of vomit. screw you, cilantro!
now because of the "garden state" soundtrack i'm listening to and how dreamy it is, i'm inspired to list things i like:
1. abbey. the only truly good thing to result from my existence. i think she's got a bit of a cold right now and she fell asleep really fast tonight. but i just stayed to watch her sleep for a while and, every now and then, i can still picture her as a baby, even though she's nearly 9.
2. my flannel sheets. the more i use and wash them, the more comfy they become. they have a floral pattern which usually is not me, but the pattern makes them look like they were found in a grandmother's attic.
3. on the topic of bedding, my blankets. both were made by my granny edna (i miss you, granny) and even though i have plenty of blankets, i feel extra nice with these.
4. dustin -- especially when he laughs at something you would never expect, like a scene in Bridget Jones 2. and when he raps.
5. this soundtrack. although it's not the usual kari-type of music, it's really grown on me. probably has something to do with the fact that i loved the movie.
6. my ibook. sweet, sweet ibook.
7. the idea of having an ipod.
8. the tax return i'll be receiving.
9. my tattoos. except the astrological one on my back. a tattoo at 19 is a mistake, i realize. being a taurus meant a great deal to me then; now it means shite.
10. the first moment after a migraine or a toothache when you realize you are no longer in pain -- how exhilarating that moment is.
11. the cool underside of a pillow.
12. photoshop
blog question: what are your top three favorite things? (list more if you are so inclined.)
Thursday, February 03, 2005
milk & cheese
milk & cheese
Originally uploaded by kllnin.
evan dorkin kicks such ass that he gave me permission to use this image on my site. visit his site, won't you?
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
dental day
today i have to see the dentist because a part of a molar broke yesterday. in my gum. gross. the dreaded "crack" that sounds so very loud b/c it's so close to the ear. so yeah, dentist appointment at 3:30 and, no matter how much i'm not looking forward to being told how horrible my teeth are, i'll pretend to really enjoy being there b/c it would be shite to have a job where you are the most dreaded person to see.
i just spent a moment looking at google images of tooth decay, to prove to myself that i've not the worst teeth in the world. and it would help if my adult tooth in the front right of my mouth would finally grow in and i wouldn't look so much like an old hag. well, at least an old hag with a tooth half-grown in.
abbey got a WOW award today at school, which i'll post a picture of when i get one. she is ADORABLE and i'm so lucky that i'm her mom.
THREE WEEKS TODAY of no smoking. and i'll celebrate that how? with oriental flavor ramen noodles (13 cents!) and a trip to the dentist.
oh, and that little bastard groundhog saw his shadow...another six weeks to go.
i listened to nick coleman's show on air america minnesota this morning (am 950, from 7 to 9 a.m.) and there was a woman who called in to complain that the liberals have to see the other side as "humans, not THOSE people." well you know what? i'm really fucking tired of the liberals being responsible for making concessions to end the divisiveness of the country. we're not moving more left and causing problems, the nutjobs on the far right keep moving and moving the lines around and i'm done being apologetic for the country being divided; and nick coleman is right, we're not angry enough, by any means. and screw you righties who think that we're less moral, who think that it's our fucking job to make amends, b/c we've made enough concessions -- my daughter's school is making concessions, my mom will probably lose her minnesota care (and that's one woman you DON'T want missing her medication) and i'm tired of the liberals being the stupid, spineless doormats for the "moral" majority. when the fuck are we finally going to take the streets and demand that this corrupt shit stop? when will the scary righties be held to the same standard that we are? if we complain about anything, it's "partisan bickering," but when they do it? oh, then it's totally fine. well screw you, b/c if we get blasted for one thing, they should too. a culture of life...indeed. wasn't it estimated that 300 people in MN died last year b/c of health care cuts? so the right says that we need to "respect life," but then it's perfectly fine to screw those who DARE to age, who DARE to get sick? what kind of sick, Darwinian shite is that? the righties (and i don't mean ALL republicans, as even i have family members who claim to be that) care SOOOO much about life in the womb, but a big "fuck you" to anyone outside of it.
wow...all that from one nick coleman show. i like him. my rant is now done. for now.
i just spent a moment looking at google images of tooth decay, to prove to myself that i've not the worst teeth in the world. and it would help if my adult tooth in the front right of my mouth would finally grow in and i wouldn't look so much like an old hag. well, at least an old hag with a tooth half-grown in.
abbey got a WOW award today at school, which i'll post a picture of when i get one. she is ADORABLE and i'm so lucky that i'm her mom.
THREE WEEKS TODAY of no smoking. and i'll celebrate that how? with oriental flavor ramen noodles (13 cents!) and a trip to the dentist.
oh, and that little bastard groundhog saw his shadow...another six weeks to go.
i listened to nick coleman's show on air america minnesota this morning (am 950, from 7 to 9 a.m.) and there was a woman who called in to complain that the liberals have to see the other side as "humans, not THOSE people." well you know what? i'm really fucking tired of the liberals being responsible for making concessions to end the divisiveness of the country. we're not moving more left and causing problems, the nutjobs on the far right keep moving and moving the lines around and i'm done being apologetic for the country being divided; and nick coleman is right, we're not angry enough, by any means. and screw you righties who think that we're less moral, who think that it's our fucking job to make amends, b/c we've made enough concessions -- my daughter's school is making concessions, my mom will probably lose her minnesota care (and that's one woman you DON'T want missing her medication) and i'm tired of the liberals being the stupid, spineless doormats for the "moral" majority. when the fuck are we finally going to take the streets and demand that this corrupt shit stop? when will the scary righties be held to the same standard that we are? if we complain about anything, it's "partisan bickering," but when they do it? oh, then it's totally fine. well screw you, b/c if we get blasted for one thing, they should too. a culture of life...indeed. wasn't it estimated that 300 people in MN died last year b/c of health care cuts? so the right says that we need to "respect life," but then it's perfectly fine to screw those who DARE to age, who DARE to get sick? what kind of sick, Darwinian shite is that? the righties (and i don't mean ALL republicans, as even i have family members who claim to be that) care SOOOO much about life in the womb, but a big "fuck you" to anyone outside of it.
wow...all that from one nick coleman show. i like him. my rant is now done. for now.
Tuesday, February 01, 2005
thoughts not for the faint of heart.
i should be asleep right now. not because i've got a curfew and i'll lose my allowance if i don't get to bed on time, but i should really sleep. however, if tossing and turning counted as beauty sleep, well, let's just say i'd be hot. really effing hot.
my dad is far too nice to me and in support of my not smoking effort, he sent me a gift card to take to old navy. i heart old navy and on this particular night i really hearted (what? why can't i speak normally) a trench coat at old navy. i'll post a picture of coat later. anyhow, i haul ass out to the MOA (b/c that's where girls "my size" can get old navy clothing) right before they close and i buy the coat, in addition to a great shirt. a great green shirt. it's a soft cotten hug for my torso.
so the coat, now that i have it home, looks hideous. time for a return. but all this is inconsequential, because i had a very strange, very hypnotic drive to and from the mall, and it made me think.
first i looked at the sky and, with the fog (or the pollution from the pollution warning today) it had a dark charcoal color and the texture was something i'd not noticed before -- it was like you could reach up and touch the sky and instead of feeling vaporous nothingness you'd feel something akin to velvet..but fuzzier. i couldn't stop staring at it and, while going south on 35E, there would be moments where i couldn't see oncoming cars but i could see the faint headlight glow over the median and it was, well, enticing. like i wanted to breathe in was i was looking at, taste it and swallow it down. it looked like what a deep sleep must look like to those who experience it (not me, as i cannot sleep very well).
it's been a hard couple of days and not having that lovely little cigarette crutch has been especially hard. saw the therapist last night and i'm going to make a list of questions that i would like to ask that evil disgusting piece of human garbage back in minot. i always invision myself calling him and running through a list of questions. what would those questions be, my shrink wondered... i'm contemplating...
so, to any of you who know of what i speak, what would YOU ask? can a person like that even be expected to respond in any sort of satisfactory way? even if he swore up and down that he knows he is sick and what he did to me (and god knows how many others), would that ever be enough for me?
my shrink also asked me if i would want him dead. tough call, i replied, but no. isn't that just a little too easy? really, i mean, if i have to suck this crap up for the rest of my existence, never feeling as though i'm going to be okay or be over this, shouldn't he have a little discomfort? oh, that's right, his wife left him (20 years later than she should have)...poor man, how does he deal with that? geez, i'm surprised he doesn't just throw in the towel. that must be WAY worse than...
there are just some times that i think about it more than others.
and it's not even so much that i'm replaying details over in my head, it's kind of an overall picture of how i feel, how i see myself and how i never know if what i'm feeling or seeing is rational. ultimately it comes back to this impending sense of doom, this feeling that my heart is being broken again and again and there is nothing in the world that is going to make me OK.
i'm so tired of wearing this fucking disguise of a functional person. no, i function. i am a good mom. a little high maintenance sometimes as far as girlfriends go. but it's hard to do the day-to-day things when you feel like there is something inherently wrong with you. it's hard to run to the grocery store and buy the eggs and come home and do the laundry and get ready for work in the morning when deep down you know that no matter how many "normal" activities you get done, no matter how many projects are finished at work or how many bills get paid, there will always be something lurking behind you, waiting to pounce.
sweet dreams.
my dad is far too nice to me and in support of my not smoking effort, he sent me a gift card to take to old navy. i heart old navy and on this particular night i really hearted (what? why can't i speak normally) a trench coat at old navy. i'll post a picture of coat later. anyhow, i haul ass out to the MOA (b/c that's where girls "my size" can get old navy clothing) right before they close and i buy the coat, in addition to a great shirt. a great green shirt. it's a soft cotten hug for my torso.
so the coat, now that i have it home, looks hideous. time for a return. but all this is inconsequential, because i had a very strange, very hypnotic drive to and from the mall, and it made me think.
first i looked at the sky and, with the fog (or the pollution from the pollution warning today) it had a dark charcoal color and the texture was something i'd not noticed before -- it was like you could reach up and touch the sky and instead of feeling vaporous nothingness you'd feel something akin to velvet..but fuzzier. i couldn't stop staring at it and, while going south on 35E, there would be moments where i couldn't see oncoming cars but i could see the faint headlight glow over the median and it was, well, enticing. like i wanted to breathe in was i was looking at, taste it and swallow it down. it looked like what a deep sleep must look like to those who experience it (not me, as i cannot sleep very well).
it's been a hard couple of days and not having that lovely little cigarette crutch has been especially hard. saw the therapist last night and i'm going to make a list of questions that i would like to ask that evil disgusting piece of human garbage back in minot. i always invision myself calling him and running through a list of questions. what would those questions be, my shrink wondered... i'm contemplating...
so, to any of you who know of what i speak, what would YOU ask? can a person like that even be expected to respond in any sort of satisfactory way? even if he swore up and down that he knows he is sick and what he did to me (and god knows how many others), would that ever be enough for me?
my shrink also asked me if i would want him dead. tough call, i replied, but no. isn't that just a little too easy? really, i mean, if i have to suck this crap up for the rest of my existence, never feeling as though i'm going to be okay or be over this, shouldn't he have a little discomfort? oh, that's right, his wife left him (20 years later than she should have)...poor man, how does he deal with that? geez, i'm surprised he doesn't just throw in the towel. that must be WAY worse than...
there are just some times that i think about it more than others.
and it's not even so much that i'm replaying details over in my head, it's kind of an overall picture of how i feel, how i see myself and how i never know if what i'm feeling or seeing is rational. ultimately it comes back to this impending sense of doom, this feeling that my heart is being broken again and again and there is nothing in the world that is going to make me OK.
i'm so tired of wearing this fucking disguise of a functional person. no, i function. i am a good mom. a little high maintenance sometimes as far as girlfriends go. but it's hard to do the day-to-day things when you feel like there is something inherently wrong with you. it's hard to run to the grocery store and buy the eggs and come home and do the laundry and get ready for work in the morning when deep down you know that no matter how many "normal" activities you get done, no matter how many projects are finished at work or how many bills get paid, there will always be something lurking behind you, waiting to pounce.
sweet dreams.
smoking stats
it's been 20 days, five hours, 51 minutes and some 53 seconds since i last smoked. i've not smoked 243 cigarettes, saved $36 and 44 hours of my life.
however i like to think of it as "i'm only 38 days away from an ipod shuffle."
however i like to think of it as "i'm only 38 days away from an ipod shuffle."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
