now i feel like i should be especially clever and interesting for this 700th post.
hmm.
yeah, i have nothing. sorry.
although we have already watched "charlie and the chocolate factory" today, as dust and kiddo made a stop at the video store.
but before that, i nearly choked on a teeny tiny piece of baked potato. it got progressively worse and then it kicked in a gag reflex and it was all downhill from there. i was able to breathe ever so slightly, so it wasn't as bad as the time that i nearly choked to death on a gummy worm at my sister's place. that was scary, b/c there was NO AIR getting in or out. but it was worse than the other time i nearly choked on a piece of bread.
stuff like this -- it just happens to me more than i like to admit.
i also have the tendency to trip over absolutely nothing but air, bang my knees and shins into coffeetables (see below) and sprain my ankles at any given moment.
i don't know why i'm this way. it's as though my center of gravity is located in my elbow, thus throwing off everything i do.
and i have health insurance (unlike SOME PEOPLE) and that is a comfort, but the copays? criminal, i tell you. i have to be pretty damn sure that i'm in real physical danger before i throw down $30 for an office visit.
the kiddo admitted to me that she loves to read in the bathroom. she's awesome.
i also need to do some hardcore birthday present shopping, as two of my sisters, my quasi-sister in law, my nephew and two friends have november birthdays that i've not yet found gifts for -- that is the plan for the weekend.
and now the kiddo is calling me from upstairs, assuming that i have bat-like hearing. time to go be a mom.
Posts
5 comments:
Don't feel bad, Kari. I too am constantly riddled with owwies and strange bruises. For some reason, I ALWAYS smack my hand (or foot. Or knee, shoulder, etc....) into things whilst walking innocently through a room. My body is strangely attracted to the sharp corners of coffee tables and filing cabinets, screaming "ooooh!!! hurt me! hurt me! give me a big mysterious, gossip-inducing welt/gash/bruise! I deserve it! I am such a bad, bad girl!". I used to chalk it up to inattentiveness, or trying to see out of the corner of my eye while wearing too-small (yet insanely cool) glasses, or some as-yet-undiscovered neurological condition.
It was excuseable in my childhood..."oh, she's such a tomboy", and laughable in my 20's..."drink too much last night? ha ha ha", but in my 30's, it just makes me feel like a retarded monkey with a palsy of some kind. Sure, I try to joke about it at work: "Yeah, Devin beat me last night because I refused to bite his balls just-so...heh heh heh..." but the real reason is much more terrifying: I am a motherfucking KLUTZ. That, and I bruise easily.
death by gummy worm would suck. especially if it was a green one.
if memory serves, it was a half red, half orange gummy worm. does that give the situation a little bit more dignity?
probably not.
i'm also a total klutz. the other day at work, i was being a smart ass to my co-worker and i tried to make a graceful exit and ended up tripping over my own feet and slamming my head into the doorframe. co-worker laughed.
i also have lots of strange bruises and it's not just from drinking & falling down. i swear.
Looks like we all have a.) anemia or 2.) pasty-ass paper-thin skin. So my solution is to eat steaks and get a spray on tan. I think that the secret word for today "kfjtibcs" may also be a hebrew month devoted to, what else, fasting and thinking morbid thoughts.
Post a Comment