best quote passed along to me in a long, long time:
"You're like a pez dispenser with a bitch head!"
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
what i've learned about myself today
i've learned that, when i know what i'm doing (mostly) and i'm really busy, i'm actually pretty content with my job. that's a nice feeling.
singing and whatnot
last night was a fun night.
my lovely friend terry came over and we karaoked like never before. we even repeated some songs, just to see if we could hit those notes that are impossible for those who have smoked as much as we have/do. and then we put on regular cds to just sing along. *sigh...* good fun. i'll post photos later. and dustin rapped, which always brings much joy.
new job still = scary.
however the weekend holds much fun and therefore makes this week ETERNAL. good ol' uncle sam was kind this year and we'll be spending saturday night in a hot tub at the super 8.
super 8. that's right, b/c when we make plans, we TOTALLY class it up. but, like my friend mike said, "the super 8 is 2 better than the motel 6."
abbey will get to have some fun swim time, and my sister is completely mental about the whole night (admit it, meg! you are!). we are acting in manner of children who get to have a birthday party at a hotel. there may even be cake and balloons involved.
growing up in our life, it was a huge deal to go to a motel and swim. it's like a vacation that costs very very little and includes little to no car sickness.
and as follow-up to yesterday's post regarding my face gaining 35 pounds, everything is back to normal. (i realized that i kept walking nearby funhouse mirrors, which also explains why i thought i had shrunken to 4 foot three inches. WHEW!)
my lovely friend terry came over and we karaoked like never before. we even repeated some songs, just to see if we could hit those notes that are impossible for those who have smoked as much as we have/do. and then we put on regular cds to just sing along. *sigh...* good fun. i'll post photos later. and dustin rapped, which always brings much joy.
new job still = scary.
however the weekend holds much fun and therefore makes this week ETERNAL. good ol' uncle sam was kind this year and we'll be spending saturday night in a hot tub at the super 8.
super 8. that's right, b/c when we make plans, we TOTALLY class it up. but, like my friend mike said, "the super 8 is 2 better than the motel 6."
abbey will get to have some fun swim time, and my sister is completely mental about the whole night (admit it, meg! you are!). we are acting in manner of children who get to have a birthday party at a hotel. there may even be cake and balloons involved.
growing up in our life, it was a huge deal to go to a motel and swim. it's like a vacation that costs very very little and includes little to no car sickness.
and as follow-up to yesterday's post regarding my face gaining 35 pounds, everything is back to normal. (i realized that i kept walking nearby funhouse mirrors, which also explains why i thought i had shrunken to 4 foot three inches. WHEW!)
Monday, February 27, 2006
oh, those lein girlz!!!!
i just received a wonderfully insightful email from one of the leingirlz....
so wonderful and insightful, i can't post it.
trust me... it's a gem.
so wonderful and insightful, i can't post it.
trust me... it's a gem.
i have a sweet kid
dustin and the kiddo came by to pick me up from work on thursday and kiddo found out i had dental work done and that i was basically miserable. she made me this on a post-it. i heart her to no end.
why my friend amy ROCKS!
because she says really nice things like this on the leingirlz blog:
Regarding her list of seven things that draw her to blogging
1. Karicita's blog is a running narrative into the mind of my best friend and that makes me feel close to her and therefore happy!
awwww, amycita. you make me happy, too!
in fact, all the leingirlz rock pretty fuckin' hard.
Regarding her list of seven things that draw her to blogging
1. Karicita's blog is a running narrative into the mind of my best friend and that makes me feel close to her and therefore happy!
awwww, amycita. you make me happy, too!
in fact, all the leingirlz rock pretty fuckin' hard.
oh, the madness!
okay, so i've felt pretty good about dropping some pounds. however today is one of those miraculous days where, upon catching my reflection in a mirror, window, etc., it appears it has all landed back on my face! how does that happen?! has my face, since yesterday, become larger in width? has all the weight i've lost suddenly and without warning drifted back to my cheeks? all 35 pounds, to my fucking cheeks? ahhh!
all is lost. (except the 35 pounds on my face.)
all is lost. (except the 35 pounds on my face.)
Sunday, February 26, 2006
an explanation of "the davids"
maybe everyone knows this. but until my sister explained the term "the davids," i just referred to that area as "you know, near the hipbone..."
here is the area of which i speak when i say "the davids."
Friday, February 24, 2006
crazy fucking FCC
props to c. george for bringing this little goodie to my attention:
From an article entitled "Cell Phone FAQs":
It's the same thing in airplanes because they use computers to fly through the air. If the computers don't work properly, the airplane may not go the right direction or fly at the right height, or they may even crash! Next time you get on a plane, make sure that turn off your mobile phone so that everyone can have a safe flight.
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/faqs_cellphones.html
that's right. kids learn more if they are horribly fucking terrified.
From an article entitled "Cell Phone FAQs":
It's the same thing in airplanes because they use computers to fly through the air. If the computers don't work properly, the airplane may not go the right direction or fly at the right height, or they may even crash! Next time you get on a plane, make sure that turn off your mobile phone so that everyone can have a safe flight.
http://www.fcc.gov/cgb/kidszone/faqs_cellphones.html
that's right. kids learn more if they are horribly fucking terrified.
images of christ... sort of.
these were also posted to ungeziefer's site, but i have to share with everyone. unge and i have an idea of making a blog specifically for images like these. that might still happen.
Props to Jege for the Seven Things Meme
Seven Things To Do Before I Die:
1. Write and sell a great screenplay
2. Own my own movie theater
3. Go to Europe -- All over the damn place, actually
4. Write a funny, articulate book.
5. Become more patient with and accepting of myself and others (except for those real fucking asshats out there…they can just suck it). (jege said that best and i am inclined to agree)
6. Say exactly the thing i'm feeling the exact moment i'm feeling it on a regular basis
7. Swim with the dolphins. (okay, not really. i can't even swim. wait. maybe learning to swim would have been a good choice. oh well.)
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Disguise my annoyance/impatience/disgust/seething hatred -- at least, not for very long before i explode
2. Cartwheels
3. Eat cilantro
4. Swim
5. Deal with aggressive people
6. Jog -- it's just not possible.
7. Touch snakes. Even looking at snakes is tricky.
Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging:
1. Unbound hilarity
2. Meeting great writers with interesting things to say.
3. Gives me a chance to get out of my own head.
4. Keeps lazy people like me in touch with the world...for the most part.
5. Gives me something to look forward to every day.
6. The most amazing people in the world, i've had a chance to meet. or "meet," as jege said, without my becoming a face on a milk carton.
7. See #1
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. Goddamn it
4. Asshole
5. For fuck's sake
6. Bastardo
7. Carp (like "crap," but something abbey likes to say, too)
Seven Books I Love:
1. Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
2. Nine Stories (specifically "perfect day for a bananafish") by JD Salinger
3. Without Feathers/Getting Even/ Side Effects, Woody Allen
4. Any e.e. cummings
5. Any Anne Sexton
6. Catcher in the Rye by JD "recluse" Salinger
7. Harry Potter !!!!!!!
Seven Movies/DVDs That I Can Watch Over and Over Again:
(just seven?)
1. Annie Hall
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Halloween
4. Most anything with John Cusack
5. Evil Dead 2
6. NIN: And all that could have been
7. Love Actually (i know, i'm all girly that way)
Seven People I Want To Join In Who I Don't Think Have Done This Yet (unless you've already done it, in which case I apologize profusely for not paying attention to your fabulous entries):
1. Dustin
2. Heidi
3. Andy
4. Thomas
5. Bram
6. Joe Mammy
7. Rod
1. Write and sell a great screenplay
2. Own my own movie theater
3. Go to Europe -- All over the damn place, actually
4. Write a funny, articulate book.
5. Become more patient with and accepting of myself and others (except for those real fucking asshats out there…they can just suck it). (jege said that best and i am inclined to agree)
6. Say exactly the thing i'm feeling the exact moment i'm feeling it on a regular basis
7. Swim with the dolphins. (okay, not really. i can't even swim. wait. maybe learning to swim would have been a good choice. oh well.)
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Disguise my annoyance/impatience/disgust/seething hatred -- at least, not for very long before i explode
2. Cartwheels
3. Eat cilantro
4. Swim
5. Deal with aggressive people
6. Jog -- it's just not possible.
7. Touch snakes. Even looking at snakes is tricky.
Seven Things That Attract Me to Blogging:
1. Unbound hilarity
2. Meeting great writers with interesting things to say.
3. Gives me a chance to get out of my own head.
4. Keeps lazy people like me in touch with the world...for the most part.
5. Gives me something to look forward to every day.
6. The most amazing people in the world, i've had a chance to meet. or "meet," as jege said, without my becoming a face on a milk carton.
7. See #1
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Fuck
2. Shit
3. Goddamn it
4. Asshole
5. For fuck's sake
6. Bastardo
7. Carp (like "crap," but something abbey likes to say, too)
Seven Books I Love:
1. Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
2. Nine Stories (specifically "perfect day for a bananafish") by JD Salinger
3. Without Feathers/Getting Even/ Side Effects, Woody Allen
4. Any e.e. cummings
5. Any Anne Sexton
6. Catcher in the Rye by JD "recluse" Salinger
7. Harry Potter !!!!!!!
Seven Movies/DVDs That I Can Watch Over and Over Again:
(just seven?)
1. Annie Hall
2. When Harry Met Sally
3. Halloween
4. Most anything with John Cusack
5. Evil Dead 2
6. NIN: And all that could have been
7. Love Actually (i know, i'm all girly that way)
Seven People I Want To Join In Who I Don't Think Have Done This Yet (unless you've already done it, in which case I apologize profusely for not paying attention to your fabulous entries):
1. Dustin
2. Heidi
3. Andy
4. Thomas
5. Bram
6. Joe Mammy
7. Rod
guess how much i wish i were sleeping!
THIS MUCH!!!!
(spreading my arms as wide as they can stretch)
up in the wee hours with a coughing, sore-throating kiddo.
it's nights like this where i really miss the laptop.
(spreading my arms as wide as they can stretch)
up in the wee hours with a coughing, sore-throating kiddo.
it's nights like this where i really miss the laptop.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
toothpain: tip o' the iceberg
so i had a partial root canal today. looks like the laptop won't be fixed quite yet, since that money just went into my mouth. or rather, into a few canals under a molar.
the good news: i'm keepin' the tooth!
the bad news: i'm only PARTIALLY through the canal process.
the worse news: there's another tooth to be reckoned with.
the horrible news: the novacaine is wearing off.
the good news: i'm keepin' the tooth!
the bad news: i'm only PARTIALLY through the canal process.
the worse news: there's another tooth to be reckoned with.
the horrible news: the novacaine is wearing off.
idea for website
do you recall seeing a website for some guy who, after rescuing a little bunny, said unless he received a certain amount of funds into his paypal account, he'd cook and eat it? and the guy got a ton of money?
well i'm thinking that i need to set up a website and include photos of my horrible teeth and that unless i hit a certain amount of money in an account, i will begin knocking out my pain-causing teeth with a hammer, video tape it and stream it on the internet.
suggestions for a title?
well i'm thinking that i need to set up a website and include photos of my horrible teeth and that unless i hit a certain amount of money in an account, i will begin knocking out my pain-causing teeth with a hammer, video tape it and stream it on the internet.
suggestions for a title?
OUCH
fucking toothache. fuck fuck fuck fuck. and WHY must root canals cost so much? WHY???
now if you'll excuse me, i have to whore myself to healthier gums and teeth.
now if you'll excuse me, i have to whore myself to healthier gums and teeth.
dustin has done a nice lil' recap on his cadaver politik blog, do check it out. He has also inititated a fun little project of cartoons About jesus, much in the spirit of what I have posted lately.
"The response by Muslims to some stupid cartoons makes it REALLY hard to sympathize with them, and reminds me once again why I fucking hate religion. However, despite all the coverage of this every bloody day (how many news stories on this did YOU hear before they actually told you what the cartoon actually portrayed?), unless you listen to DemocracyNow! you probably didn't know that this has nothing to do with Free Speech or Freedom of the Press. Why do I say that? Because apparently there were similar cartoons lampooning Jesus submitted for publication previously, and the editor of this Danish paper decided not to print them -- because it would just upset people. Hmm . . . So this fucker made a conscious, deliberate choice to publish cartoons portraying the Prophet Muhammed as a suicide bomber and NOT to publish the cartoons making fun of Jesus. In other words, "I don't care if we upset Muslims, cause I don't like them anyway." And while of course the leader of Iran is an antisemetic psychopath, I think his call for a cartoon competition about the Holocaust makes an excellent point about the double standard in place and the clear racism involved. For my part, I hereby invite you to participate in a Cartoons About Jesus contest; send me images and I will post them. Kari has already started us off."
you simply MUST join in on the fun.
as for myself, it's nearly 6 a.m. and i've been up for two hours. a combination of a toothache and the huge amount of excederin (largely caffeine-based) have made it impossible to go back to sleep.
i've been doing a little bit of watching on this whole Bush/Ports deal, and although i'm not 100 percent knowledgeable on the subject, i have a hard time believing after all we have learned about our administration that ANYONE is surprised by the whole fiasco.
it's no big secret that our administration has close ties to saudi arabia. do i think it will make us less secure? i don't know if it would make us any less secure than bush flying the bin ladens out of the country right after 9/11. i don't know if it makes us any less secure than bush saying "bring them on" regarding the insurgents that HE didn't have to face. i don't know if it makes us any less secure than our country being the world police and administering "justice" to everyone but ourselves. i think it's just one more thing in a whole pile of other things that should make everyone pretty fucking nervous.
and for the bush supporters who voted that dumb bastard back into office:
YOU HELPED BRING THIS ON.
DON'T YOU DARE BE SURPRISED AT THIS. IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WAS TIED SO CLOSELY TO THE UAE, IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE IS CAPABLE OF THREATENING OUR SECURITY, THEN YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE CASTING YOUR BALLOT. SHAME ON YOU.
HE IS NOT THE COMMON MAN. HE IS A MAN IN BED WITH MONEY AND CORPORATIONS AND THE ELITE. AND IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT, NOW YOU DO, AND I HOPE YOU SEE THAT THIS MAN WOULD SELL HIS MOTHER TO MAKE HIS TIES TO OIL STRONGER.
i am thinking less and less of my original theory that he is too stupid to be malicious, too ignorant to know any better. i think he is smarter than anyone gave him credit for and for that, WE ARE FUCKED. at the very least, he's smart enough to know that we as the public are apparently too stupid, too apathetic to do anything to change things.
wow. 6:09 a.m. and i'm furious.
time to get the kiddo ready for school.
"The response by Muslims to some stupid cartoons makes it REALLY hard to sympathize with them, and reminds me once again why I fucking hate religion. However, despite all the coverage of this every bloody day (how many news stories on this did YOU hear before they actually told you what the cartoon actually portrayed?), unless you listen to DemocracyNow! you probably didn't know that this has nothing to do with Free Speech or Freedom of the Press. Why do I say that? Because apparently there were similar cartoons lampooning Jesus submitted for publication previously, and the editor of this Danish paper decided not to print them -- because it would just upset people. Hmm . . . So this fucker made a conscious, deliberate choice to publish cartoons portraying the Prophet Muhammed as a suicide bomber and NOT to publish the cartoons making fun of Jesus. In other words, "I don't care if we upset Muslims, cause I don't like them anyway." And while of course the leader of Iran is an antisemetic psychopath, I think his call for a cartoon competition about the Holocaust makes an excellent point about the double standard in place and the clear racism involved. For my part, I hereby invite you to participate in a Cartoons About Jesus contest; send me images and I will post them. Kari has already started us off."
you simply MUST join in on the fun.
as for myself, it's nearly 6 a.m. and i've been up for two hours. a combination of a toothache and the huge amount of excederin (largely caffeine-based) have made it impossible to go back to sleep.
i've been doing a little bit of watching on this whole Bush/Ports deal, and although i'm not 100 percent knowledgeable on the subject, i have a hard time believing after all we have learned about our administration that ANYONE is surprised by the whole fiasco.
it's no big secret that our administration has close ties to saudi arabia. do i think it will make us less secure? i don't know if it would make us any less secure than bush flying the bin ladens out of the country right after 9/11. i don't know if it makes us any less secure than bush saying "bring them on" regarding the insurgents that HE didn't have to face. i don't know if it makes us any less secure than our country being the world police and administering "justice" to everyone but ourselves. i think it's just one more thing in a whole pile of other things that should make everyone pretty fucking nervous.
and for the bush supporters who voted that dumb bastard back into office:
YOU HELPED BRING THIS ON.
DON'T YOU DARE BE SURPRISED AT THIS. IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT HE WAS TIED SO CLOSELY TO THE UAE, IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HE IS CAPABLE OF THREATENING OUR SECURITY, THEN YOU DIDN'T DO YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE CASTING YOUR BALLOT. SHAME ON YOU.
HE IS NOT THE COMMON MAN. HE IS A MAN IN BED WITH MONEY AND CORPORATIONS AND THE ELITE. AND IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT, NOW YOU DO, AND I HOPE YOU SEE THAT THIS MAN WOULD SELL HIS MOTHER TO MAKE HIS TIES TO OIL STRONGER.
i am thinking less and less of my original theory that he is too stupid to be malicious, too ignorant to know any better. i think he is smarter than anyone gave him credit for and for that, WE ARE FUCKED. at the very least, he's smart enough to know that we as the public are apparently too stupid, too apathetic to do anything to change things.
wow. 6:09 a.m. and i'm furious.
time to get the kiddo ready for school.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
on the topic of profanity
(artist rendition of jesus colliding with a coffeetable)
i like to swear. really. there is nothing that feels better when i've stubbed my toe or knocked my kneecap into the corner of the coffeetable than a resounding "FUCK!"
i usually mute my profanity when my daughter is around, but she knows what i'm saying and is smart enough kid not to repeat it at school.
her dad agreed to pay her $1 whenever he dropped the "f-bomb," and she asked me to do the same.
i stated that i simply could not afford it.
it's interesting that in this day and age, so much is made of profanity. not that i think polite society (whatever THAT is) ought to have us running around like lunatics, dropping the profane left and right. i don't think EVERY situation is appropriate for cussing. but do i think less of those who do cuss? nope. those are my people. we are cut from the same cloth, so to speak.
what is think is obscene? that we have a shitty health care system. that the rich keep getting rich and the poor have less and less. that our country is run by a blend of incompetence, ignorance, greed and corruption. that a person like me, who doesn't make a whole lot of money, is more apt to give a dollar to the homeless guy who is on the corner of 11th street in downtown every morning with a cardboard sign around his neck, than the fucker in the sparkling cadillac suv next to me.
you might ask, "what would jesus do?"
i remember that jesus was a MAN. jesus kept the company of HOOKERS. i think that, if jesus felt the pain of my coffeetable against his fragile kneecap, only one word would ease his pain. come on, say it... SAY IT!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
my blog has a substance abuse problem, i think.
we visited a local bar last night. you can see how moved i am at the sight of a poster displaying an eagle, weeping while staring at the world trade center buildings.
this photos is a little belated, but it still keeps with the alcohol theme. drinking on the train is pretty spendy, so we mixed our own little breakfast drink. and no, we didn't drink that whole thing.
andy and sarah. gems, the both of them. and yes, sarah is drinking the king of beers. that's the way she rolls.
on the amtrak we were sad. sad train riders indeed.
this man owns the bar we went to last night. he was very drunk, and still managed to talk us into buying a pizza.
see why i can't quit smoking? do you see now?
my lovely lovely fortune cookie
usually i don't like fortune cookies. in fact if i am unpleased with the fortune i will not eat it OUT OF SPITE.
today's cookie from the delightful Ping buffet:
"Forget yesterday: Tomorrow will be a golden day for you."
and if tomorrow is not a golden day for me, it'll be hell to pay.
today's cookie from the delightful Ping buffet:
"Forget yesterday: Tomorrow will be a golden day for you."
and if tomorrow is not a golden day for me, it'll be hell to pay.
tuesday Tuesday TUESDAY!
went to a lovely little bar last night -- by "lovely" i mean "has not been aired out since the early 1960s," but it is a true delight to find an establishment that offers drinks for two dollars and some change. and the owner kicks ass, and by "kicks ass" i mean "was so drunk that it was impossible to understand his form of speech." i will post photos of the evening today after work.
morning meeting moved up one hour, running smack into my normally-scheduled smoking break. am considering buying chewing tobacco just for the occasion. am looking forward to a lifetime of teeth with small leaf bits stuck between them.
am painfully stiff from moving set pieces from one theater space to another theater space (the theater garage, no less -- that's right, site of the cancelled wedding). will attend the theater performance this saturday (again, at theater garage), which promises to be slightly less awkward than the first visit to the space. another occasion for chew, perhaps? nothing says "class" like a bottle full of chewspit.
morning meeting moved up one hour, running smack into my normally-scheduled smoking break. am considering buying chewing tobacco just for the occasion. am looking forward to a lifetime of teeth with small leaf bits stuck between them.
am painfully stiff from moving set pieces from one theater space to another theater space (the theater garage, no less -- that's right, site of the cancelled wedding). will attend the theater performance this saturday (again, at theater garage), which promises to be slightly less awkward than the first visit to the space. another occasion for chew, perhaps? nothing says "class" like a bottle full of chewspit.
Monday, February 20, 2006
FUCKING NICKELBACK!
a tech guy is in our office right now. his cell phone rang. his ring tone?
PHOTOGRAPH BY NICKELBACK.
god is dead.
PHOTOGRAPH BY NICKELBACK.
god is dead.
what does a blog offer, really?
dust and i were discussing the idea of blogs last night, and how it's bizarre to think that so many people are interested in the average, everyday kind of stuff that comes out in a blog. for example, i've blogged about things as mundane as what can be found in my purse. because everyone needs to know that i currently have, in my purse:
excederin
aveeno lotion
lip balm (two kinds)
eyeliner (still in there from the NIN show b/c a NIN show is not a NIN show without eyeliner)
wallet
slips of paper that read "impeach" and "george is watching you" for me to disperse in random public places
loose change that i'll eventually need to pay for groceries at some point
blue gloves
a black knitted hat
a few mike and ike candies that fell out of the box while i was at the movies last night
fresh pack of camel turkish golds
three lighters (though i can never actually find them when i need them)
parking ramp card (sign of true adulthood: paid parking)
for some reason, i'm compelled to share that information. why? i don't know!
and my life in this blog is pretty open-book... there is very little i won't divulge in this public forum. that's not to say i don't keep some things private --- i do keep stuff off here, b/c there are things people don't need to know, don't want to know, and shouldn't know about me.
so do we really ever know other bloggers? is a blog, no matter how extensive it reads, really only five percent of who we are?
excederin
aveeno lotion
lip balm (two kinds)
eyeliner (still in there from the NIN show b/c a NIN show is not a NIN show without eyeliner)
wallet
slips of paper that read "impeach" and "george is watching you" for me to disperse in random public places
loose change that i'll eventually need to pay for groceries at some point
blue gloves
a black knitted hat
a few mike and ike candies that fell out of the box while i was at the movies last night
fresh pack of camel turkish golds
three lighters (though i can never actually find them when i need them)
parking ramp card (sign of true adulthood: paid parking)
for some reason, i'm compelled to share that information. why? i don't know!
and my life in this blog is pretty open-book... there is very little i won't divulge in this public forum. that's not to say i don't keep some things private --- i do keep stuff off here, b/c there are things people don't need to know, don't want to know, and shouldn't know about me.
so do we really ever know other bloggers? is a blog, no matter how extensive it reads, really only five percent of who we are?
the thing about the cheney thing
so i guess the next time i shoot someone while hunting i can wait a while to call the cops? is that how it works?
Sunday, February 19, 2006
third verse, same as the first...
so the movie?
not too shabby, but nowhere NEAR the level of hilarity that the second "final destination" offered. but plenty of horrific death scenes, so that always makes one feel better about oneself.
me: (in my head) wow...my life feels horribly shitty sometimes, but at least i'm not experiencing death by nailgun...
that's much of the beauty of film, folks. escapism. the other beauty? that wonderful rush you experience while walking into the theater...that large wall that separates the main hallway from the seats and then WHAM! you are in the room, you see that screen, you hear the chatter of those awaiting the movie. that feeling of choosing a seat -- up high or close to the front? usually i go for the seats that have a rail in front of them, so i have a foot-up option.
for those of you from the magic city of minot, remember the Empire theater? i miss it. if i had oodles of money i'd open a movie house. a one screen movie house with the popcorn smell filling the halls and special screenings, like silent film nights and saturday morning cartoon marathons.
the suburban world theater in uptown minneapolis had some really cool stuff going for a while -- they had a cabaret theater type setting with a movie screen and musical acts would perform before a showing. the downside? 13 dollar pitchers of beer. i think that is what ultimately killed it. however i would not charge that much for beer. i don't even know if i would have beer. yes it would. but only good beer. coors light drinkers need not apply.
not too shabby, but nowhere NEAR the level of hilarity that the second "final destination" offered. but plenty of horrific death scenes, so that always makes one feel better about oneself.
me: (in my head) wow...my life feels horribly shitty sometimes, but at least i'm not experiencing death by nailgun...
that's much of the beauty of film, folks. escapism. the other beauty? that wonderful rush you experience while walking into the theater...that large wall that separates the main hallway from the seats and then WHAM! you are in the room, you see that screen, you hear the chatter of those awaiting the movie. that feeling of choosing a seat -- up high or close to the front? usually i go for the seats that have a rail in front of them, so i have a foot-up option.
for those of you from the magic city of minot, remember the Empire theater? i miss it. if i had oodles of money i'd open a movie house. a one screen movie house with the popcorn smell filling the halls and special screenings, like silent film nights and saturday morning cartoon marathons.
the suburban world theater in uptown minneapolis had some really cool stuff going for a while -- they had a cabaret theater type setting with a movie screen and musical acts would perform before a showing. the downside? 13 dollar pitchers of beer. i think that is what ultimately killed it. however i would not charge that much for beer. i don't even know if i would have beer. yes it would. but only good beer. coors light drinkers need not apply.
today's words from anne sexton
Cigarettes and Whiskey and Wild Wild Women
Perhaps I was born kneeling,
born coughing on the long winter,
born expecting the kiss of mercy,
born with a passion for quickness
and yet, as things progressed,
I learned early about the stockade
or taken out, the fume of the enema.
By two or three I learned not to kneel,
not to expect, to plant my fires underground
where none but the dolls, perfect and awful,
could be whispered to or laid down to die.
Now that I have written many words,
and let out so many loves, for so many,
and been altogether what I always was—
a woman of excess, of zeal and greed,
I find the effort useless.
Do I not look in the mirror,
these days,
and see a drunken rat avert her eyes?
Do I not feel the hunger so acutely
that I would rather die than look
into its face?
I kneel once more,
in case mercy should come
in the nick of time.
Perhaps I was born kneeling,
born coughing on the long winter,
born expecting the kiss of mercy,
born with a passion for quickness
and yet, as things progressed,
I learned early about the stockade
or taken out, the fume of the enema.
By two or three I learned not to kneel,
not to expect, to plant my fires underground
where none but the dolls, perfect and awful,
could be whispered to or laid down to die.
Now that I have written many words,
and let out so many loves, for so many,
and been altogether what I always was—
a woman of excess, of zeal and greed,
I find the effort useless.
Do I not look in the mirror,
these days,
and see a drunken rat avert her eyes?
Do I not feel the hunger so acutely
that I would rather die than look
into its face?
I kneel once more,
in case mercy should come
in the nick of time.
Friday, February 17, 2006
picture time!
so here are some pictures from the 16th o' feb.
it begins at perkins, where somehow with a mere fifty cents dustin snags not one but TWO goodies from the claw machine.
these are some pre-show shots of me and dust and below, sarah and paul, who joined in the fun.
and the show? kicked ass. these are the ones that MOSTLY turned out.
oy. and after the show? perkins, but this time in des moines.
we're happy, but thirsty.
it begins at perkins, where somehow with a mere fifty cents dustin snags not one but TWO goodies from the claw machine.
these are some pre-show shots of me and dust and below, sarah and paul, who joined in the fun.
and the show? kicked ass. these are the ones that MOSTLY turned out.
oy. and after the show? perkins, but this time in des moines.
we're happy, but thirsty.
cold = bad
bram, i'm sorry for mocking you for living in reno, where the temperature gets very hot.
i'm apologizing now b/c i've just walked from my office in downtown to dustin's office in downtown for lunch.
i'm so cold i actually might vomit.
i'm apologizing now b/c i've just walked from my office in downtown to dustin's office in downtown for lunch.
i'm so cold i actually might vomit.
What? I can't hear you?
must make this entry brief, however thanks to our friend p. biddy, we went to see NIN last night in des moines.
points to mention before i post photos tonight:
1. my ears are still ringing
2. i have slept for a total of four hours (non-consecutively)
3. i got a boot to the head from a fucking crowd surfer
4. we were about 20 feet from the stage!
5. the show was outstanding!
6. i might be too old for being tossed about like a rag doll, but it kicked such ass!
7. i need caffeine!
8. did i say my ears are ringing?
more details to follow later tonight...
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
update on the golden pig
not solid gold at all, but rather a very large piggy bank. while walking by today i noticed a slot near the spinal column, and i can only assume loose change is to be tossed into him. or her.
but not my change, for fuck's sake. i have nothing to offer the golden pig. his shiny exterior is probably worth more than all my loose change in the world. and that includes the dimes and nickels that are stuck together with taffy on the floor of my car.
but not my change, for fuck's sake. i have nothing to offer the golden pig. his shiny exterior is probably worth more than all my loose change in the world. and that includes the dimes and nickels that are stuck together with taffy on the floor of my car.
valentine's day?
my valentine's day included:
a harold pinter play called "betrayal" (nothing says romance quite like that)
indian food (but in india they just call it "food")
drinks at a neighborhood watering hole (but no actual water was consumed)
not a shabby night at all, actually. and it's important to have those when you've had a totally shit day at the office.
i'll just say this: WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM SUCKS ASS.
but props out to a.w.h. for giving tech support.
a harold pinter play called "betrayal" (nothing says romance quite like that)
indian food (but in india they just call it "food")
drinks at a neighborhood watering hole (but no actual water was consumed)
not a shabby night at all, actually. and it's important to have those when you've had a totally shit day at the office.
i'll just say this: WINDOWS OPERATING SYSTEM SUCKS ASS.
but props out to a.w.h. for giving tech support.
Monday, February 13, 2006
this is blog post #892
that's a wholelottabloggin'.
here are some pictures from this past weekend in the magic city.
why not minot?
(everyone now!)
"THE CRIPPLING FUCKING DEPRESSION!"
but an evening at ebeneezer's can remedy that for a time.
here's the darling patrick (who PROMISED HE'D LIVE HERE BY NOW)
here's ye olde roderick and myself. my glasses are concealing my eyes that refuse to stay open for many a photo.
paul wishes he knew how to quit dustin.
why there ought to be a ban on weapons.
see? i can't keep my eyes open for any photos at all. but it's pretty dark in the bar, and that camera flash was awful bright.
oh, and i may have had a few too many vodka/cranberry drinks. (hence my rosy complexion)
here are some pictures from this past weekend in the magic city.
why not minot?
(everyone now!)
"THE CRIPPLING FUCKING DEPRESSION!"
but an evening at ebeneezer's can remedy that for a time.
here's the darling patrick (who PROMISED HE'D LIVE HERE BY NOW)
here's ye olde roderick and myself. my glasses are concealing my eyes that refuse to stay open for many a photo.
paul wishes he knew how to quit dustin.
why there ought to be a ban on weapons.
see? i can't keep my eyes open for any photos at all. but it's pretty dark in the bar, and that camera flash was awful bright.
oh, and i may have had a few too many vodka/cranberry drinks. (hence my rosy complexion)
Thursday, February 09, 2006
something i've learned about me today
if i see a solid gold pig statue in the window of a beauty salon, i will stare at it for as long as possible and just try to understand... why???
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
things i'm discovering about myself
i'm learning things about myself.
today's thing i've learned:
I'M COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING ANY SORT OF WORK WITHOUT PUTTING MY HAIR UP IN A CLIP, PONYTAIL HOLDER OR WITH A PENCIL/PEN.
more to come.
today's thing i've learned:
I'M COMPLETELY INCAPABLE OF DOING ANY SORT OF WORK WITHOUT PUTTING MY HAIR UP IN A CLIP, PONYTAIL HOLDER OR WITH A PENCIL/PEN.
more to come.
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
photos make up for lost blogging time!
so while starting the new job i've found less and less time to blog. therefore i'll update with some photos.
look who is happy about her tax return!
we processed guacamole!
we fried bacon for blt sandwiches!
we went out with meg and chris!
we made art at pizza luce with meg and chris!
we sat by a bronze man in a liquor store!
we've got a great kiddo!
look who is happy about her tax return!
we processed guacamole!
we fried bacon for blt sandwiches!
we went out with meg and chris!
we made art at pizza luce with meg and chris!
we sat by a bronze man in a liquor store!
we've got a great kiddo!
Monday, February 06, 2006
job stuff
so, that whole thing where i'm supposed to be in training for project management until june? well i guess i'm a project manager today.
holy fuck.
i hope i can handle this.
holy fuck.
i hope i can handle this.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
my simpson side!
thanks to this lil' link, i can be the simpson character i've always wanted to be!
fuck, i'm pretty hot!
Saturday, February 04, 2006
quote of the day
Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling into at night. I miss you like hell.
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
- - - - Edna St. Vincent Millay
Friday, February 03, 2006
day of updates
new job a little scary, as new things can be.
ate some chili last night at perkin's, and have, for the last 12 hours, been experiencing excruciating stomach pain. pretty horrible. really horrible, actually. would like to stop vomitting sometime soon.
have not yet worn tights and cape to work -- feel as though i'd impress them too much.
crystal, if you are reading this, i'm thinking about you!
otherwise, i've not really got it in me to blog too much lately.
ate some chili last night at perkin's, and have, for the last 12 hours, been experiencing excruciating stomach pain. pretty horrible. really horrible, actually. would like to stop vomitting sometime soon.
have not yet worn tights and cape to work -- feel as though i'd impress them too much.
crystal, if you are reading this, i'm thinking about you!
otherwise, i've not really got it in me to blog too much lately.
Thursday, February 02, 2006
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
further proof that there is no god
the fact that people use the phrase "god never gives us more than we can handle."
us crazies need to stick together
i really like anne sexton.
in general, i feel a sense of camaraderie with anyone who has struggled with "madness," be it due to genetics or chemical imbalance or situational.
THIS book is a really good read on the topic of women and madness.
anyone who has spent any amount of time in a hospital room, being kept away from dangerous objects and spent countless hours doing lame crafts understands that there is a thin line between feeling ashamed about it and exhibiting pride for surviving.
i choose feeling proud. i didn't take advantage of the situation perhaps the way i should have -- i went in there for three days and after day one i was so terrified that i put on my superkari mask and got out two days later. i was the model patient. i quit smoking. i decorated the christmas tree, i ate balanced meals. i didn't flinch when they came in at 4 a.m. to draw blood. i kept my room clean. i took all the tests they asked me to, i began my love affair with prozac.
in short, i was a fraud. i went in there feeling like i had no where to go, and i can't believe that i fooled them that way. looking back i should have just been myself. i should have just said everything i was thinking the moment i was thinking it -- something we all wish we could do, but fear the consequences. i think back to the thoughts i had, the thoughts i still have, 12 years later, and i wonder why i always wore/still wear that happy little mask. after all, if you can't be yourself in a place like that, where can you?
and when i have bad days now, they are still horrible and miserable and seem to have no end. man, imagine those bad days if i weren't on medication. that's scary.
but i digress. so back to anne sexton.
my fondness of anne sexton comes from both an appreciation of what she created and being able to relate to what she wrote. it's like reading my thoughts on paper, but with better organization and wording that i can never quite capture.
and for any of you who have an "other" like i do, this one's for you:
The other.
Under my bowels, yellow with smoke,
it waits.
Under my eyes, those milk bunnies,
it waits.
It is waiting.
It is waiting.
Mr. Doppelganger. My brother. My spouse.
Mr. Doppelganger. My enemy. My lover.
When truth comes spilling out like peas
it hangs up the phone.
When the child is soothed and resting on the breast
it is my other who swallows Lysol.
When someone kisses someone or flushes the toilet
it is my other who sits in a ball and cries.
My other beats a tin drum in my heart.
My other hangs up laundry as I try to sleep.
My other cries and cries and cries
when I put on a cocktail dress.
It cries when I prick a potato.
It cries when I kiss someone hello.
It cries and cries and cries
until I put on a painted mask
and leer at Jesus in His passion.
Then it giggles.
It is a thumbscrew.
Its hatred makes it clairvoyant.
I can only sign over everything,
the house, the dog, the ladders, the jewels,
the soul, the family tree, the mailbox.
Then I can sleep.
Maybe.
in general, i feel a sense of camaraderie with anyone who has struggled with "madness," be it due to genetics or chemical imbalance or situational.
THIS book is a really good read on the topic of women and madness.
anyone who has spent any amount of time in a hospital room, being kept away from dangerous objects and spent countless hours doing lame crafts understands that there is a thin line between feeling ashamed about it and exhibiting pride for surviving.
i choose feeling proud. i didn't take advantage of the situation perhaps the way i should have -- i went in there for three days and after day one i was so terrified that i put on my superkari mask and got out two days later. i was the model patient. i quit smoking. i decorated the christmas tree, i ate balanced meals. i didn't flinch when they came in at 4 a.m. to draw blood. i kept my room clean. i took all the tests they asked me to, i began my love affair with prozac.
in short, i was a fraud. i went in there feeling like i had no where to go, and i can't believe that i fooled them that way. looking back i should have just been myself. i should have just said everything i was thinking the moment i was thinking it -- something we all wish we could do, but fear the consequences. i think back to the thoughts i had, the thoughts i still have, 12 years later, and i wonder why i always wore/still wear that happy little mask. after all, if you can't be yourself in a place like that, where can you?
and when i have bad days now, they are still horrible and miserable and seem to have no end. man, imagine those bad days if i weren't on medication. that's scary.
but i digress. so back to anne sexton.
my fondness of anne sexton comes from both an appreciation of what she created and being able to relate to what she wrote. it's like reading my thoughts on paper, but with better organization and wording that i can never quite capture.
and for any of you who have an "other" like i do, this one's for you:
The other.
Under my bowels, yellow with smoke,
it waits.
Under my eyes, those milk bunnies,
it waits.
It is waiting.
It is waiting.
Mr. Doppelganger. My brother. My spouse.
Mr. Doppelganger. My enemy. My lover.
When truth comes spilling out like peas
it hangs up the phone.
When the child is soothed and resting on the breast
it is my other who swallows Lysol.
When someone kisses someone or flushes the toilet
it is my other who sits in a ball and cries.
My other beats a tin drum in my heart.
My other hangs up laundry as I try to sleep.
My other cries and cries and cries
when I put on a cocktail dress.
It cries when I prick a potato.
It cries when I kiss someone hello.
It cries and cries and cries
until I put on a painted mask
and leer at Jesus in His passion.
Then it giggles.
It is a thumbscrew.
Its hatred makes it clairvoyant.
I can only sign over everything,
the house, the dog, the ladders, the jewels,
the soul, the family tree, the mailbox.
Then I can sleep.
Maybe.
tomorrow: jobville.
i'd be lying if i said i wasn't a bit nervous about the first day on the new job tomorrow. it's a relief to be out of newspapers, but still scary b/c what my former supervisor said when letting me go was true: i have been distracted by the shit of the last three weeks (too many things to mention) and i need to get my head in the game. i need to shut out my insecurities and neuroses and just focus on things that i can control. that's the tough part.
and i'm not a control freak. i try to give every single person the benefit of the doubt, i hope that i won't be screwed over and that the things i would do for people, they would do for me as well. but i also know that i can't predict the outcome of anything at all. all i can do is my best at the new job tomorrow.
what does a girl wear for the first day of work, anyhow? it's a casual environment, but do i want to show up in jeans on day one?
and will this toothache EVER GO AWAY?
and where should i eat lunch tomorrow? maybe i'll request that the dust eat lunch with me for moral support.
him: you are kicking ass and taking names!
me: how do you know that? you don't work in my office.
him: you always kick ass and take names!
me: thanks. let's eat some egg salad.
basically i need to both kick ass and take names tomorrow. i need to be supergirl. but without the tights and cape, b/c that's just weird. save the tights and cape for day six.
i also have not smoked since i got home this morning -- roughly 9:30 a.m. wait. that's only two hours and 20 minutes. i guess that is a good schedule to incorporate into the new job hours.
as many of you know, i stopped smoking for seven months this past year. seven months. it's a long time, but stress got the better of me, and i found that smoking is a better option than jabbing out one's eye with a sharpie.
i feel better when i don't smoke. i don't need my inhaler when i don't smoke. so why do i smoke?
there are only a few things in this world that make me feel like a person. much of the time i feel so... tainted. broken. beyond repair. smoking takes the edge off of that.
speaking of taking the edge off, it sounds as though i have to enter back into risperdal land.
yeah, i'm a total catch.
and i'm not a control freak. i try to give every single person the benefit of the doubt, i hope that i won't be screwed over and that the things i would do for people, they would do for me as well. but i also know that i can't predict the outcome of anything at all. all i can do is my best at the new job tomorrow.
what does a girl wear for the first day of work, anyhow? it's a casual environment, but do i want to show up in jeans on day one?
and will this toothache EVER GO AWAY?
and where should i eat lunch tomorrow? maybe i'll request that the dust eat lunch with me for moral support.
him: you are kicking ass and taking names!
me: how do you know that? you don't work in my office.
him: you always kick ass and take names!
me: thanks. let's eat some egg salad.
basically i need to both kick ass and take names tomorrow. i need to be supergirl. but without the tights and cape, b/c that's just weird. save the tights and cape for day six.
i also have not smoked since i got home this morning -- roughly 9:30 a.m. wait. that's only two hours and 20 minutes. i guess that is a good schedule to incorporate into the new job hours.
as many of you know, i stopped smoking for seven months this past year. seven months. it's a long time, but stress got the better of me, and i found that smoking is a better option than jabbing out one's eye with a sharpie.
i feel better when i don't smoke. i don't need my inhaler when i don't smoke. so why do i smoke?
there are only a few things in this world that make me feel like a person. much of the time i feel so... tainted. broken. beyond repair. smoking takes the edge off of that.
speaking of taking the edge off, it sounds as though i have to enter back into risperdal land.
yeah, i'm a total catch.
dogs, dumbass president and more
the state of the union was on last night.
see how much dustin likes watching W?
our friend mike came over to join in the carnage.
our friend reed brought his dog along to play with our dog.
this is what dogs do. over and over.
there are about a thousand things i should be doing right now -- laundry being at the top of the list. instead i'm fucking around on the internet, making little notecards that read "IMPEACH" to disperse around town, stuff like that.
and if anyone reading this happens to be a dentist, can you help me? i'm in a huge amount of fairly unbearable pain. and i've had a kid, so i know what physical pain means. holy fuck. help.
see how much dustin likes watching W?
our friend mike came over to join in the carnage.
our friend reed brought his dog along to play with our dog.
this is what dogs do. over and over.
there are about a thousand things i should be doing right now -- laundry being at the top of the list. instead i'm fucking around on the internet, making little notecards that read "IMPEACH" to disperse around town, stuff like that.
and if anyone reading this happens to be a dentist, can you help me? i'm in a huge amount of fairly unbearable pain. and i've had a kid, so i know what physical pain means. holy fuck. help.
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