statcounter: the good, the bad and the unnerving

i don't think i like statcounter anymore. sure, i like seeing how many hits i get, where they are from, etc. what i don't like is becoming obsessive about it and checking and re-checking how many times my blog has been linked to from a google search of a name.

a name that i have removed from my blog entries.

i can't control who sees my blog, that's the risk i took with putting it all out there for the world to see.
however i'm increasingly uneasy with my blog being linked to that name.

i should explain. a little.

a couple of years ago i was having a tough time. i go through that every few months, it's just a part of who i am. but things were pretty rough at one point and i decided that i was sick of keeping everything to myself, tired of being so fucking ashamed. so i put a name out there.

maybe i was, deep down, hoping it would reach out to other people who weren't old enough to say or do anything, like i was. unfortunately that was not the case.

now i've removed that name -- not because i'm ashamed -- but because i'm doing what i can to no longer associate this blog with that particular name.

however my blog can still be found with that name, and i'm not sure how to make that go away.

so this name which i wish -- more than anything in this fucking world -- i could forget (after it took so long to recall) is something i see EVERYTIME i check my statcounter.

so maybe it's time to bid a farewell to statcounter?