Sunday, June 14, 2009

another one? it's a Christmas miracle!

by "Christmas" I mean "late spring" and by "miracle" I mean ... actually that's pretty much the bestcword for it.

I'm feeling drab. like nothing of interest comes out of my brain to spew out as pearls of wisdom, wit or anything else starting with a w.

I feel like I am irritating to people. the things I say, the manner in which I react. and I so, so tire of feeling this way. I want to have days where I don't misinterpret a glance as a glare.

I can sort of summarize my thoughts right now as falling into the category of "aftermath." without getting too specific, it's been a challenging year on many fronts. and while I perform extraordinarily well under pressure (dun dun dun dadadun dun), I tend to melt down and fall to pieces after things settle down. I ignore my own well being for so long that when I come back to it, I don't know where the fuck to start.

2:23 am and need sleep. it's just time.


Dr Gonzo said...

It will get better Kari, you know the territory. Take some time and be lethargic, take those wonderful afternoon naps with The Oskar. I know I hate advice when I am down. It is ok to feel how you do. As I have said many times, you don't need to change, everbody else needs to adapt.
Much love my guardian angle,

Dr Gonzo said...

You know Kari, I love blogs and everything that is blog. I hope you are in a better mood. Something strange is happening. Today, at Hannah's softball game my left arm went completely numb and I was kicked in the nuts by a massive panic attack. I really thought for a half an hour that I was going to die in my car. My anxiety and panic are out of control. I wanted to work out today, but was just a fucking mess. I have to wear a mouth/tooth guard, grinding teeth, and TMJ. I just cannot relax. My massive depression kind of levels it out, I guess.
Love to all,

Andy said...

We don't talk as much as we did, but when we do, I enjoy our convos as much as I ever did. You're not irritating. I don't know if it's the hot weather or what making me more irritable than normal, but everything is getting on my nerves lately, and I vacillate (good word, no?) between lethargy, mild irritation, a state of constant shock, emotional numbness, and good ol' rage. In a straw poll of friends, I find most people feel the same way right now.

Raymond Fujimoto said...

We should give as we would receive, cheerfully, quickly, and without hesitation; for there is no grace in a benefit that sticks to the fingers. Very interesting work.

nice post and thanks for sharing...

Merry Christmas