Wednesday, November 30, 2005

another glimpse into the childhood? why not!

some more lil' diary entries filled with all sorts of depth...like shopping and miami vice...


Friday, January 17, 1986
Dear Diary,
We rented some movies until Sunday night! They're called "The Bellboy," "The Man in the Mist," "Hold that Ghost," and "Honeymooners." Right now I'm watching "The Bellboy." It's really funny. It has sort of a mix up plot story. Everybody is confused with everybody else. Look at my latest drawing! (insert drawing of some sort of box here). I "heart symbol here" Andy!
Goodnight, Kari

Saturday, January 18, 1986
Dear Diary,
Yea! Today I went shopping at Dakota Square and at Target. I got a really cute yellow and gray flowered shirt and a solid blue shirt! Also at Pic-A-Pair I got a $4.00 brooch! It goes with just about everything. I hope I'll get to go to "White Nights" with Joanna Markell. I do indeed hope that Dad gets back with the car before the last afternoon show starts.
Goodnight, Kari

Sunday, January 19, 1986
Dear Diary,
Gross! Tomorrow I have school. At least at 9:00 I'm going to the courthouse with my social science class, "Law & Justice." We're going to see D.U.I fines in court. That means "Driving Under the Influence," in other words, drinking and driving.
I still don't want to go to school. To top that off I have to get up extra early! I have 8:10 band.
Goodnight, Kari

Sunday, January 16, 1986
Dear Diary,
Guess what? On Thurs. nite I got sick and have been sick all weekend. I feel like shit!
(officially my first cuss word in the journal!) My sister Amy was being mean and hit me on the back, just for mimmicking her! I'm really tired. I'm truly sorry I didn't write more this week.
Goodnight, Kari

Tuesday, January 28, 1986
Dear Diary,
Guess what? This morning the Space Shuttle Challenger blew up with 7 people on board. One of the people was the first person to go into space that wasn't an astronaut -- she was a teacher. It looks like there are no survivors. I still "heart" Andy!
Goodnight, Kari


wow. even as a child i was incredibly lame. it's nice to know that some things never change.

another night on the town

not so much "on the town" as "in the town." our friend andy g. turned 36 today, so we enjoyed a night out at nye's polainaise (sp?) and ate yummy food (pierogies!) and had nice drinks. and listened to lounge piano. and sang a couple of songs. and ate cake. right now i'm also multi-tasking: blogging AND msn chatting with my friend, captain narcolepsy.

i'm not the least bit tired. who else wants to chat? anyone? anyone? let's get at least three conversation windows open! bring it!

did is spell "pierogie" correctly? damn, they are exquisite.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

music time!

not quite tired enough, so it's time for the "shuffle music and explain details to people who may or may not be interested!"

1. If You Leave by OMD.
Pretty in Pink. i was one of the girls who wanted andy (molly ringwald) to end up with ducky (jon cryer) in the end.

2. Stupid Boy by the Geardaddies.
a classic. the best come-back-after-a-breakup song EVER.

3. Strange Loop by Liz Phair
when i first listened to "exile in guyville," i was hooked on the first five or six songs. then more recently i've fallen in love with that cd all over again, and this song was one of the lucky winners. it was as though all songs from number 12 and below were meant for a 19 year old me, and the songs past that were meant for the me who is now. the now me. get it?

4. Suck by NIN
trent could read from a phonebook and i'd go weak in the knees. but this song...YIKES. wow. it never gets old for me.

5. Superstar by Carpenters (but covered by Sonic Youth)
i grew up hearing this song by the original artists, but this cover by sonic youth is fab. it was also the song in the trailer for the movie "high tension," and the youth make it more stalker-esque than before. well done!

okay. sweet dreams for real this time.

Monday, November 28, 2005

what happppppens when...

a girl who doesn't normally have drinks decide to have a few drinks -- and by few i mean a literal few, three -- well that girl has fuzzy vision. and why is that girl typing? and why is that girl speaking from the third person point of view?

all questions have some sort of answers. however i do not have these answers. but i do know it's my bedtime. but first i need to let in the dog. wait. let out the dog, then let in the dog. crap. i need to go to bed.

maybe i'll weight myself b/c i've cut out soda in an effort to drop a few. let's see....

hey! i've dropped 10 pounds on account of losing soda! nice! that is seriously the only thing i've changed in the last couple o' weeks, and this is weighing myself at the end of the day --- after i've eaten and had booze and everything. 10 pounds. nifty!

is anyone on messenger right now? i'll check.

nope. damn it. i'm actually feeling chatty now.

so i'm guessing that all my funny/witty/cool cred points are seeping down the drain with this post. nuts.

and now i'll continue that downward trend some more b/c all of a sudden, i'm pretty awake.

i like the clash. this is something i've been thinking about alot lately. whilst listening to the clash, i feel cooler and more interesting than i actually am. i'm a horrible bore in real life, but when the clash is on, that horrible bore disappears and i'm funny & interesting kari with a slight british accent for just a few minutes.

and there are cats swarming around me. seriously. we have six cats- in a house they hide out well, so it's hard to tell until it is bedtime and then they act as though they are vultures and there is rotting flesh nearby. vultures who purr and want to cuddle and rub their faces against your chin. so maybe not like vultures at all. maybe just like cats. they can sense that you want not to be bothered by their...catness. and yet there they are, rubbing in your face, trying to chew at the corner of you ibook even though you shove them aside.

whew! is it not yet midnight?

and, on a final note, here are the choice spam messages of the day:
"Inter-est rate of 3.59%" (they haven't run a credit check yet, have they?)
"Who else wants $148,000.00?" (ME! ME! I'M RAISING MY HAND!)
"The Ultimate Online Pharmaceutical"
"Mr. Ott has $220,000.00 for you!" (Yay! Mr. Ott, I'm waiting...)


sweet dreams.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

a peek into my childhood

okay, so i've come across my diary that began on Jan. 19, 1986. here are the first few entries.

Dear Diary,
My name is Kari Larson. The boy I like is Andy. My age is 10. My birthday is May 9th, 1975. Well, tonight my parents bought you for me. I got to Campus Laboratory School, part of Minot State College. I have 2 parents. I have three sisters and 4 cats. My favorite show is "Miami Vice."
Goodnight, Kari.

Jan. 11, 1986
Dear Diary,
My tooth fell out! I am so glad! I am also mad! I went shopping today at both malls, I didn't buy anything! I am so glad that my sister Amy is going to take me to Kmart. They have really good brands now. Amy got one of her best shirts there. It is light pink wiht white leaves on it.
Goodnight, Kari

Jan. 12, 1986
Dear Diary,
Right now I'm watching this funny show on VHS. It's called "Scavenger Hunt." Yuck! Tomorrow I have school. But I also get to do my book report with Amy Lein. It's on Samuel Clemens, otherwise known as Mark Twain. Boy, do I want to see Andy, he is so cute! He also has a great sense of humor. Well, gotta go!
Goodnight, Kari

Jan. 15, 1986
Dear Diary,
Guess what! My little sister Meaghan peed all over my floor! Great, just great! Meggie also peed on some set drawings that Kimberly and I made. What will I tell her? Well, I'll just make new plans to show her on Saturday. Tomorrow I have to work on so many assignments at school. Tomorrow will probably be my busiest day ever! Except for my bday party, that is!
Goodnight, Kari


wow. how far i'm come in life. and for the record, my sister Meg can now control her bladder. (To be fair, she was only three at the time of that entry.)

Saturday, November 26, 2005

kevin spacey rules

so i'm beginning a playlist on my ibook of songs for the pre-wedding and post-wedding events. kevin spacey's rendition of "beyond the sea" has totally made the cut, along with the following songs:

Something In The Way She Moves-the beattles
My Funny Valentine-Billie Holiday
It Had to Be You -Billie Holiday
It's Oh So Quiet - Bjork
Love Song - The Cure
Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
Just Like Heaven - The Cure
That's Amore - Dean Martin
At Last - Etta James
Your Song - Ewan McGregor
Fly Me to the Moon - Frank Sinatra
Such Great Heights - Iron And Wine
Something in the Way She Moves - James Taylor
You've Got A Friend - James Taylor
Make Someone Happy - Jimmy Durante
What A Wonderful World - The Ramones
Chances Are - Johnny Mathis
You And Me - Jude
Goreck - Lamb
you make me want to wear dresses - lisa germano
As Time Goes By - Louis Armstrong
A Kiss To Build A Dream On - louis armstrong
Dream A Little Dream Of Me - Louis Armstrong
I'll Melt With You - Modern English
Stardust - Nat King Cole
Adrift and At Peace - Nine Inch Nails
Turn Me On - Norah Jones
The Nearness Of You - Norah Jones
In Your Eyes - Peter Gabriel
Smoke Gets In Your Eyes - The Platters
Someone to Watch Over Me - Rosemary Clooney
Posession - Sarah McLachlan
You Belong To Me - Tori Amos

any suggestions, anyone? i've got some slots to fill...

i've just recently re-discovered my diary that began in sixth grade and that i wrote in sporadically through eighth grade. who's up for some of that?

Friday, November 25, 2005

long time, no post

i've been posting sparingly lately, mostly on account of things like work, cleaning, knitting, work, cleaning, hanging out with child, and so on and so forth.
i've been a bad blogger! bad kari! bad blogger!
maybe lately i've felt like there is little to report. but that's no excuse, because i've blogged with less to offer.

and now i'm going to watch a movie with the kiddo, however this i pledge to you: i shall blog more. in fact, my saturday evening will be chalked full of blogging, i say! FULL OF BLOGGING!

i also need to catch up on my blog reading, as i'm feeling slightly out of the loop with the blogs i usually read.

it's movie time. i heart friday night movie time with the kiddo.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

a great dress indeed


a great dress indeed
Originally uploaded by kllnin.

look at this dress. i want this dress to be mine.

spam o' the day, vol. I

here are today's goodies...and it's only 7 a.m., so you know it can only get better:
"Keep $273 to pay off bills "
"Take our Pizza Lover's Quick Poll "
"Mr. Ellis has $391,000.00 for you "
"Pre-approved for $449,000.00 "

so where is this damned money??? Mr. Ellis, you are falling short on your promise of $391,000.00, you teasing bastard. no fair.

i can't believe i've been at work for 2 hours already. gross.

is there any office policy, i wonder, about napping at desks? i feel as though napping in my car would prove to be both cold and silly-looking, so maybe if i just set my head down next to this keyboard...just for a minute or two...

those dreaded 4:30 a.m. phone calls

holy crap i'm tired. and i'm at work. and i'm working (mostly). i like to think of it as multi-tasking. is that word hypenated? because at 5:20 a.m., proper hypenation matters!

i work at a newspaper, and i'm on the call list. so if something is wrong with a page or any other reason that a printer can't print something, i'm called. which is okay, because maybe i'll leave before 4 today. and it's a nice quiet office with little to no distractions to speak of, so i get plenty of work done and i can listen to any cd i want.

but there's that whole downside of HAVING TO GET OUT OF BED AT 4:30 AM. that downside including the inability to warm up, the feeling that your eyes are so they hurt. the inability to have a coherent thought. but hey, extra hours are nice.

wait! they aren't nice! why? because it's a week with a paid holiday in it, I WON'T GET OVERTIME! f**kers. yeah, i'm leaving early today. screw this.

thanksgiving day plans to include:
watching parade (or all of them, depending on commercial breaks and speed of remote control usage)
wearing pajamas for better part of day
eating pad thai. or pizza. or something that involves no cooking whatsoever.
napping.

and the file is not cooperating, meaning they still can't print. crap. must make things work now.

Monday, November 21, 2005

f**king VH-1

i don't know why i'm so shocked and surprised about this, but VH-1 actually has a show about paparazzi -- a reality show that takes you along with them as they chase after people. it's nuts. gross. time to surf to some other channel.

Sunday, November 20, 2005

Wedding Date: For REAL this time

SATURDAY, JANUARY 28TH, 2006.

for real. i mean it this time.

sunday night television

how can i not watch "the parent trap" when it's on tv?

fun with spam!

and i don't mean the canned meat product, i mean the crap that is in my spam box. on occasion i see the "Viagra at half price" and "Increase your lovemaking" spams, but today i am innundated with the following:

"Would $564,000.00 make a difference?"
"Would $423 more each month help?"
"Would $437 more each month help?"

why yes, anonymous spammer, the combined amount of $564,860.00 would make a difference. the holidays are just around the corner, you know.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

i'm a total geek for famous people

i've been known to write emails to famous people who are willing to:
1. publicly list their email address
2. actually write back

i've received emails from both Henry Rollins and Jude.

the first from henry was after his show in mpls. and it kicked such complete ass that i had to write him and tell him. and then i got a reply from jude when i requested using one of his photos on my blog. i've just recently emailed jude to see if he'll be in the mpls. vicinity around the time o' the wedding, and if he'd consider singing at the wedding (a girl can dream, right?) and then i invited henry to the wedding.

henry's response:
"Kari, thanks for the invite. Congratulations and I hope it's a great day. I'm sure it will be. Henry"
so i'll take it as a "no," but at least it was a nice response and not a restraining order.

and on a completely unrelated note, if i came across anyone who said to me "hey, i'm gellin'," i'd run a spike through their head.

hey! "the wedding singer" is on! good times. and pretty accurate except that drew barrymore looks NOTHING like i remember the 80s looking. she doesn't even have Roos hightops or scrunch socks or mall hair or big shoulder pads in her shirts.

STOP THE PRESS!

so the date might be changed to jan. 28 to make it a little easier for some family members to attend, so when that is etched in stone, you'll know when i know.

back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Friday, November 18, 2005

wedding plans coming to life

our date: Feb. 4
our location: Theater Garage
our officiant: Rev. Shane A. Hansen, MT (ASCP), SC (ASCP), MSM (IT)

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

why, it's an audiopost!

this is an audio post - click to play

update! update!

so maybe feb. 4th. maybe at the theater garage in mpls. maybe my cold will be gone by then.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Starve a fever, feed a cold some gin?

isn't that how it goes?

on tv!

"the jerk" is on. i am at peace.

an update...

it's an ear infection, folks. good fun all around.
whilst waiting for my prescription at walgreens we were walking through the snack aisle and i saw a canister of chocolate covered cashews.
me: mmmm, chocolate covered cashews.
dustin: (pause) it's a waste of cashews.

dustin feels passionately about cashews.

a thought

i want to go to the doctor today, b/c it feels like i have all sorts of sharp things in my throat that i'm swallowing.
however i'm not enthusiastic about the copay. i think that you should only have to pay the copay if you actually need medicine, to make you feel like your visit to the doctor was not in vain.
know what i mean? you go to the doc., you cough up thirty bucks, they swab your throat a few times, make you stick out your tongue and say "ahhhh," only to tell you that you just need to gargle with warm salt water? i think those visits should be pro bono.

Monday, November 14, 2005

being sick: not as fun as it sounds

i am feeling a bit of the crappy tonight -- some delightful sniffles have evolved into that horrible, raw feeling in the back of my throat and i'm now coughing. yuck.

TA-DAAAH!


engaged
Originally uploaded by kllnin.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

on the horizon...

there is some fairly big news a-coming. more details to follow. stay tuned.

a video post!


the governor of minnesota....


Gov. Tim "Doughboy" Pawlenty, ladies and gentlemen. it's always good to see my tax dollars hard at work. i'm glad oodles and oodles of people were kicked off of minnesota medical care and he gets to galavant around a different continent.

crystal, you were totally right about Jarhead!

so our friend crystal was right on with her thoughts on the movie "jarhead," from which we have just returned --- was a really solid movie. i think the major criticism i have read in the press about it complained that it was a war movie, without the war. i was fine with that, i was fine with it being from the eyes of someone who was in the shit without it being combat-heavy. that's the funny thing about real stories: they don't always have the fight scenes and car chases. and honestly, don't we already see enough real war in real life? it is really necessary that every movie about a soldier include that same footage?

i'm thinking i should buy the book, so i can see how it compares to the movie, how true they stayed to the story, etc.

and i could spend days listening to the voice of peter sarsgaard. there is something in his voice that offers such quiet intensity, such delivery in such a delicate manner.

jake gyllenhaal completely delivered. he showed a very good range from good boy to man losing his mind in the desert.

i think sam mendes is one hell of a director.

before the movie we had some really good indian food.

a good day had by all.

and to finish off the night? watching "devil's rejects" by "director" rob zombie. that will most certainly set the stage for a sound night's sleep.

and tomorrow? some more birthday shopping, some naps (that's right, plural, NAPS) and if it's not horribly windy like it is now, some GUTTER CLEANING! i know...we live the sweet life.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

oh, sweet, sweet saturday!

saturday mornings are the best. we're watching cartoons, eating cocoa wheats and wearing pajamas. her pajamas are new and are adorned with sock monkeys.



i must find some for myself.

today will involve:
3-hour school carnival
1-hour lunch
undetermined number of hours nap

a nice little saturday, really.

Friday, November 11, 2005

bring us your tour, jude!



this man is amazing.

Pat Robertson: Terrorist?

I think that THIS could be taken as a terrorist threat, don't you?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

the void has been filled, folks!

YAY! i think we all knew he'd be back!

finally, a place for us to really embrace the spirit that is Tom Delay.

a long, long night to come

okay, so i ate out tonight with the kiddo and my mom. i had a half of an omelette, some potatoes and a pancake.

and this is not a meal i am unfamiliar with, so it's nothing new to my digestive tract.

i am now experiencing a feeling that is similar to someone holding onto my insides and twisting and punching.

is that nausea along with it?

holy hell, it could be a very long night.

in other news, a mouse was found in the house by one of the cats -- only to have escaped from the jaws of death. given the amount of feline and canine in the house, no mouse will last long, so to the mouse spotted in my kitchen, i say to you:
watch your back. i am putting you on notice.

horrible twisting pain is beginning to subside. please, PLEASE let this be the last of it.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

this is post #700!

before right now, i've posted 699 times. that's just mad!
now i feel like i should be especially clever and interesting for this 700th post.
hmm.
yeah, i have nothing. sorry.

although we have already watched "charlie and the chocolate factory" today, as dust and kiddo made a stop at the video store.

but before that, i nearly choked on a teeny tiny piece of baked potato. it got progressively worse and then it kicked in a gag reflex and it was all downhill from there. i was able to breathe ever so slightly, so it wasn't as bad as the time that i nearly choked to death on a gummy worm at my sister's place. that was scary, b/c there was NO AIR getting in or out. but it was worse than the other time i nearly choked on a piece of bread.

stuff like this -- it just happens to me more than i like to admit.

i also have the tendency to trip over absolutely nothing but air, bang my knees and shins into coffeetables (see below) and sprain my ankles at any given moment.

bruiser

i don't know why i'm this way. it's as though my center of gravity is located in my elbow, thus throwing off everything i do.

and i have health insurance (unlike SOME PEOPLE) and that is a comfort, but the copays? criminal, i tell you. i have to be pretty damn sure that i'm in real physical danger before i throw down $30 for an office visit.

the kiddo admitted to me that she loves to read in the bathroom. she's awesome.

i also need to do some hardcore birthday present shopping, as two of my sisters, my quasi-sister in law, my nephew and two friends have november birthdays that i've not yet found gifts for -- that is the plan for the weekend.

and now the kiddo is calling me from upstairs, assuming that i have bat-like hearing. time to go be a mom.

i'm awake at 3:38. what a surprise.

and the worst part about this whole "waking up in the wee hours" thing is that i'll wake up with really shitty music stuck in my head -- usually something i hear on the radio at work and the chorus is on repeat. one night it was bon jovi's "dead or alive" and tonight? some crappy avril lavigne "happy ending" song. aah! make the bad music stop!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

magic time

i'm watching "moulin rouge" and as they are signing the "elephant love medley" i can't help but wonder if ewan sings to his wife. b/c if i were married to ewan, that would be a daily requirement.
seriously.

i'm actually watching larry king

jennifer aniston and clive owen are being interviewed. i like the both of them. i really thought "the good girl" was a great movie. a really great movie. "i'm not talking about it," she says, in regards to vince vaughn. and larry just called vince "a national treasure." I AGREE!!!

ahhh...tomorrow is "week half over day!" it is also "potentially unpleasant morning meeting day!" there are a couple of publications that i work on that i find to be the bain of my existence, the albatross around my neck, the cilantro to my tastebuds. and the meeting is to discuss these two publications. and there are times that i wish and hope for a rabid squirrel to bite me so that i can avoid these publications.

8:39 p.m. it's magic time. and by "magic time" i mean "at this point in time i will now find pajamas, therefore guaranteeing that i no longer have to leave the house tonight."

magic time.

it also means that i'll be watching a movie on ye olde laptop in my room -- i have disc 1 of Sealab in the drive right now, i can only imagine i'll make it to disc 2 tonight.

i need some soda. who's got soda?

clive owen met and fell in love with his wife while they were performing the title roles in "romeo and juliet."

awwwwwwww.

Monday, November 07, 2005

thomas and his missing blog

crystal mentioned on her blog that she can't find thomas' blog.
and i can't find thomas' blog. and i'm willing to bet that no one can find his blog.

i'm convinced he is hiding his blog because he is on the run from tom delay's hired goons.

be careful, thomas, and let us all know when you've made it to the safehouse.

today's spam deals!

• Complimentary $100 worth of M&M's®, Plain or Peanut Survey
• Get a Visa or MasterCard
• 30 year old singles - Meet your match
• $B!JBN!K7@Ls>pJs(B
• Help launch the movie Wal-Mart doesn't want you to see
• Best quality drags (think that is supposed to say "drugs?")
• Kents Time to let you know
• Mrs. Barrera has $149,000.00 for you (who is this wonderful Mrs. Barrera?)
• 2005* AWARD WINNING NOTIFICATION

i can hardly wait to read all of these exciting offers!

random itunes thoughts

time for the first five songs game again:

Explain it to Me by Liz Phair
-------
this is a great song. the last time i saw her in concert her guitar was having problems and they were killing time, and she kind of taught her boy-guitarist to play this song in an impromptu moment. apparently he was not familiar with the entire liz collection.

Closedown by The Cure
--------
this reminds me of 8th grade - i would put on the tape before falling asleep, funny how the cure can lull one into semiconsciousness. and if you listen real closely, pretty much every cure song has the same structure. esp. on "disintegration," but it's a great fucking album.

Nonentity by NIN
---------
i saw this song performed by trent on piano (with accompanying beat box) on the hurricane katrina special on mtv. knowing how he feels about new orleans, the song had an extra special punch. and while watching him perform this, i had never wanted to be a microphone so badly in my life.

History of Us by Indigo Girls
--------
my kiddo loves this song, and there are some nights that she wants me to sing it to her, over and over again, until she falls asleep. i've been singing this song to her at night for many a year.

Everyday is Exactly the Same by NIN
--------------
a great fucking song. a great fucking album.
"i can feel their eyes are watching, in case i lose myself again..."
"...i can't remember how this got started, but i can tell you exactly how it will end..."
"sometimes i think i'm happy here, sometimes i still pretend..."


Perfect Plank by Jude
-----------
kiddo loves this song. i love this song. i love this album. i love jude. "don't do that thing where you can rip apart my insides, cause that's a power i gave to you in faith."

ooh! that's six songs! i may as well make it to 10, b/c i'm SURE that everyone in the universe wants to know this.

Big Man with a Gun by NIN
----------
as weird as this sounds, this song reminds me of the bar at the bowling alley in minot. they have "downward spiral" on the jukebox and this was a great source of pleasure for me, in addition to the 2 dollar tequila shots. i think my friend, patrick, requested this song more than once. funny to think of that now.

Closer by NIN
--------------
(i suppose when you have this much NIN on your itunes, it will repeat some NIN, even on random play.) great song. always great in concert.
it still reminds me of my best friend at the time, b/c he was listening to NIN even more than i do and he really, REALLY loved this song. and he would dedicate this song to a girl that he liked at the time.

Fare Thee Well by Indigo Girls
----------
first time i heard this song it hadn't been released yet, and i was 17 and at their concert in Mpls. with my friend, Josh. and, like all music at the time, i always associate it with the boy that i adored all through high school. who, by the way, remains to be one of my best friends today.

and the 10th song???

Rudie Can't Fail by the Clash
------
what a great closing song to a blog entry! the clash always reminds me of john cusack movies, b/c so many of them include the clash. this is one of those songs that ends up on a comp cd, i forget it's on there and then one day i put in the unmarked cd and mid-way through the cd, RUDIE CAN'T FAIL! always a nice surprise.

6:34 a.m. and i am so tired my eyes hurt. that happens when you wake up EVERY FUCKING HOUR IN THE NIGHT. time for work.

and, on a final note, do any of you feel like there is something missing from your day?

Sunday, November 06, 2005

the funny that is life

do you ever think that maybe life is a big joke and you aren't being let in on the punchline? there is some secret club of people worthy of knowning what is really going on, but no one is telling you?
i mean, i don't feel that way, but i'll bet some people do.

law & order



i adore this man. i was started watching for chris noth, i'm staying for vincent.

old school law & order

okay, so i'm not a huge fan of the gajillion law and order shows on tv, but chris noth was on the original series as det. mike logan and now it looks like he's back as logan! i'm a fan, all over again. but it's not the same without lenny briscoe.

tomorrow's therapy session

blah. i always spend some time thinking about what i'm going to talk about at therapy. i see my doctor 2x/month. what i've been thinking about is my inability to follow through with things. i don't think i'm a horrible person, but i was thinking that, if had stuck with the pretty good exercise routine i began a few years ago, i'd be pretty happy with my appearance right now. if i had stuck with college that i began back in 1993, i'd be pretty happy with....okay, i'd be pretty much where i am right now, so that doesn't count. so knowning this, why don't i just get back on that exercise routine, and look forward to the two years from now that i'm svelte and back to my old hottie self? oh yeah, INSTANT GRATIFICATION. that fucking demon.

i've made changes and choices in my life that were definitely for the better, and that i never regret. but there are somes that i wish i could just kick my own ass for and try again. but knowing how i don't follow through, i don't want to put in the initial effort. man, i suck.

They don't call him "Scooter" for nothing...

abbey, if you are reading this, stop now, as it become inappropriate...

"While the response to it included much amusement, many readers found one passage particularly disturbing for the way it combined bestiality, pedophilia, prostitution and biastophilia in a mere two sentences."


holy crap, scooter!!!

time to make an amazon.com wishlist...

Woof...woof....


View this clip on Vimeo

add yourself to the map!

i even have a handy dandy link for it! do it!

and i just woke up from my late morning nap. ahhhh.....naps.

a mid-morning update

so did we sleep in as a result of the up-all-night fiasco? if you compare it to a work day then yes, we most certainly did sleep in. until a little bit after eight. needless to say, the second her dad picks her up, i'm going right back to bed. until tomorrow morning. or at least until early afternoon when the cheap theater opens, b/c i'm ready to watch movies at an incredibly discounted price ALL DAY LONG.

weekends go too fast. i'm convinced that humans are not meant to work five days a week. and if i'm elected i'll make the work week FOUR DAYS ONLY! (sadly, i'm not running for any office.)

mondays come too quickly. and tomorrow is ye olde therapist appointment. yep, my life is one big party.

i have oodles of birthdays to think about this month. (a shout out to matthew who just had a birthday and is, as i write this, enjoying a delightful brunch.)

this month's birthdays include:
shane (on the 4th -- happy birthday, shane!)
terry
sara
matt
sarah
meaghan
amy

did i forget anyone?

what do you watch at 3:35 a.m.?

well, if you have a child who is a wee bit sick and can't sleep, you watch what she watches. and she watches "princess diaries 2." that's right, you heard me.
the scounting event did not go as planned -- as things that are planned to the last detail rarely happen. the kiddo was a little sickly to start, but then as the day/evening progressed she felt worse and worse. so home we came. and awake we are.
the upside to this? at least we'll sleep in. you know, eventually...

Saturday, November 05, 2005

bruce campbell...

was in my dream. my car had a flat tire and i needed to borrow his driveway to change the tire. he lived in some suburb of the cities and was generally irritated that he wasing being troubled, but then he became quite friendly and his wife invited me over for dinner.

i've just finished packing up the car for the girl scout overnight that begins at 5:30 tonight and finishes up around 2 p.m. tomorrow. that's plenty o' hours without smoking, y'all. (that wasn't said with a southern accent, that was said with a beastie boys-esque accent.)

but that's what we do for kids, right?

Friday, November 04, 2005

today's spam

as received in my gmail account:

The Chance to Get your Economic Freedom back on Track
kari is your vehicle protected?
Interest rate quote 3.26% apr
First Impression Plumps, Shapes and Moisturizes
CONGRATULATIONS YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS WON THE PRIZE!!!
Take our Soft Drinks Quick Poll
Best quality drugs

sadly, no offers to increase my sex drive OR my penis size. better luck tomorrow.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

so close to the weekend, yet so far.

well tomorrow is friday. finally. and it will be a very busy friday. and saturday. but sunday should be relaxing right? RIGHT?

the paper i'm working on tomorrow is fairly small, so my friday should go pretty smoothly. i hope.

glad to see that roderick has started a blog -- i've known rod many a year, and he's got a great kiddo, the same age as my kiddo.

i have nothing more to report. not a bit.

it's still only thursday

can i just start today over? can it be 5 a.m. again and i just make myself function a little bit better? i want to start again, please.

there's a rift in death's design!

a third one? oh jeez....

sleepless in.....minnesota?

i wonder how many titles nora ephron went through before deciding on "sleepless in seattle?" alliteration does has its perks, but i'll bet that the below list is pretty close to what was very nearly a movie title:

"sleepless in akron."
"sleepless in tijuana."
"sleepless in pierre."
"sleepless on mount st. helen."
"sleepless in the neighbor's backyard."


and i would like to turn off my alarm clock, but the moment i do, i will fall into the deepest sleep i have ever known, causing me to wake up very late, thus getting the kiddo off to school late and pretty much feeling like the worst parent ever.

so it's 5:19 a.m. and the alarm will just stay on.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

ahhh...the x files...


i'm currently enjoying some x files that we have recorded with ye olde tivo. sweet, sweet, mulder. and trying to block out the sound of what might just be the noisiest damn cats in the world. they are freaking cats! they are supposed to be quiet and aloof.

back to the x files. i believe this to be a pre-doggett x files. and i am not wholly against the doggett x files, but once anabeth gish was added, the writing went down the tubes completely and quite honestly, i don't think she was able to act her way out of a paper bag, and i've seen her in good movies before. but her line delivery in this is EXCRUCIATING to watch.

but this episode -- exquisite. anyone remember that david duchovny song by bree sharp? it was a little stalker-esque, but still ever-so-charming.

friends over on a sunday night




so we had some friends over to have some eats on sunday and enjoy fine movies such as "retro puppet master" and "freddy vs. jason." good stuff.

and our cat, little brother, likes to sit upright in people's laps. here he's in my sister's lap. he wants to be a person pretty badly.

a fun wednesday game

so i've been reading online that today is the day to put your music-playing apparatus on "shuffle" and to respond with thoughts to the first five songs you hear. so i'm doing that.

Song #1:
E-Pro by Beck
--------------
a relatively new song for me, but it reminds me of the intro kicking my ass while i'm commuting to work and of seeing it performed just a few weeks ago. beck puts on one hell of a show.

Song #2:
Wish by NIN
------------
holy crap. broken was the first NIN cd i ever had, and i got it when i was in ninth grade at the tender age of 14 1/2. (halves mattered a lot in those days.) i heard the opening track of the cd, pinion, and then wish burst out like madness. i was horrified at first, really only having been exposed to the usual top 40 kind of crap. but within moments i had the first cathartic music experience that i can really remember. i felt an outlet for my anger that i couldn't handle, couldn't explain and couldn't deal with. a timeless, amazing song.

Song #3:
Mad World by Gary Jules
------------------------
Donnie Darko, Donnie Darko, Donnie Darko.

Song #4:
Johnny Feelgood by Liz Phair
------------------------------
freshman year of college, fall of 1993 at moorhead state university. my friend-turned-roommate heidi introduced me to liz and her cool delivery and dirty lyrics. she was the coolest good bad girl to me. and this song is the best to sing along to b/c liz isn't known for having the best, most prettiest voice in the world, which is why singing along feels so good -- kind of feel like i'm on par with her voice, and that makes me feel like a little bit of a rock star.

Song #5:
It Ain't Like That by Alice in Chains
---------------------------------------
easy: the scene in the movie "singles" where alice in chains is performing in the club where steve and linda first meet. the wah-wahing of jerry cantrell's guitar accompanying Layne Staley's amazing, rock-opera type vocals and vibrato...ahhh, i miss you, layne staley.

that was kind of cool to do. maybe i'll do more of it later.

I heart Jude.

in my usual stalking manner, i have emailed the aforementioned Jude (http://www.judemusic.com/) and begged him to come and play here in the cities. he's an AMAZING musician and a total dreamboat (and apparently i'm a teenager in 1959).
so we'll see what happens.

Important information from CNN

"What does Bush keep in his pockets?" was the headline on the cnn.com site today, discussing what reporters saw in W.'s pockets when asked to reveal the sensitive information.

so what I'm wondering is this:
shat do YOU think Bush keeps in his pockets? I don't care about the reality, I want to hear the funny.
i guess the following:

• a note that reads "You really are the President."
• a book of blonde jokes (a gift from his frat brothers).
• a handshake buzzer to keep those elitist liberals on their toes.
• a valentine from karl rove.

NOW YOU!

update on the sleep thing

i woke up at least once EVERY FREAKING HOUR. i feel as though i've not really been asleep at all.

however i did dream that i was taking a plane to portland with abbey to visit jege and other pac nw friends, but the plane kept having troubles, which is horrifying, to say the least.

i always check the time when i wake up, and a few of the wakings showed me the following times:

3:33
4:44
5:55

what in the hell.....?

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

really trying to fall asleep

not sure what music will help me sleep tonight. i've been listening to Chopin lately, but i've grown tired of it. the garden state soundtrack is good, but i've heard that a lot lately as well. i know -- a playlist blend of NIN's Still, some Smashing Pumpkins (Siamese Dream and before) with just a dash of Lamb. perfect.
fingers crossed on this whole sleep thing.

return of the headache

well i'm certainly glad that i spent four hours of my afternoon sleeping away a headache only to have it return again. awesome. my cat, little brother, is on the pillow next to me and is rubbing his head against mine. while this may seem endearing, i feel as though i may need to throw him across the room if he doesn't stop soon.

as a side note, i've begun an open letter to the inventor of the nicotine patch.


Dear Dr. Etscorn,

I thank you for your contribution to science in an effort to rid humanity of it's addiction to nicotine. However, as a former patch user and current smoker, I would like to offer the following suggestions:

1. Do encourage Hollywood to "sex up" the patch. Instead of seeing a sweaty, low-rise pant wearing Brad Pitt lighting up a cigarette in a movie, imagine seeing Mr. Pitt slapping on a patch. But to sex it up, he could slap it on extra hard. And then he'd punch the next guy who smoked around him.

2. Make patches look like tattoos instead of little badges of shame and weakness.

3. Include a prize in the box of patches, much like a box of Cracker Jack. After all, opening the box is the first step in quitting.

4. Here's something simple: Makes patches with adhesive that ACTUALLY STICKS. Really. It pisses me off to have a patch that is hanging halfway off of my skin. It's like those labels on magazine covers, and once a little bit of the corner curls up, you can't help but just pull at it...

5. Maybe we should put little messages on patches, and here is what they should say:
a. I'm using this so I don't die a fucking miserable death.
b. I'm using this so I can further stick it to the man.
c. I'm using this so that I can save myself from dying AND not jab a pen into your eye, bitches.
d. This really sucks so you should give me large, expensive gifts for using this patch.

6. Can patches maybe help with the weight loss thing, too? A two-for-one deal?

7. If our bodies are probably also addicted to the 300 plus chemicals in cigarettes, could patches -- just the first couple of high dose steps -- maybe include a few of those? Because guess what --- the nicotine might not be enough to take the edge off of that ammonia and arsenic craving I've got going on.



i'm about that far along with it. any suggestions on other improvements?

me? camping? what?

at my kiddo's request i'll be attending a girl scout overnight outing this satudray night. at a campground. in a sleeping bag, which i'll be borrowing b/c i don't actually own one. why? I DON'T CAMP. so it should be interesting. and it'll be a LONG night wearing a nicotine patch. yikes.

but i'd do anything for the kiddo. so this i shall do.

well this is the damndest thing i've ever seen

there is a show on bounty hunters on A&E. now, does being a bounty hunter require you to have a mullet? if you are the wife of a bounty hunter, does it require you to have HUGE MALL HAIR and wear spandex? i'm just wondering, b/c if so, i guess that rules me out.
then again, i'm pretty tired of my job right now, so i guess anything can happen.

and as an aside: guess how many commercials for military recruitment i've seen in the last hour? too many. it's always some teenager, pleading their case to a parent (who is in the camera eye view), practically BEGGING to join. i think, if abbey were to say this to me when she turned 18, i would reply by saying:
"NO WAY IN HELL. END OF DISCUSSION" in that parental way that makes a kid cringe.
but seriously. that's what i would say.

back to the bounty hunter family. This is the guy's site. there are "dogisms" to read about. too funny.

i love this site.

Who doesn't love McSweeney's?

just when you think all is lost.....

so i've been trying to watch tv. and when i say "trying," i mean "is there anything that is not: a. reality tv; b. crime tv (in the vein of CSI, etc.).
what have i found? well i see the really crappy but incredibly funny "Mission to Mars" on the sci fi channel. Tim Robbins -- what have you become?

Just some office work...

throat

misery

chocolates

50

and the winner is.....

talk about a tough decision! yikes! i found myself not only needing to judge on how much i giggled, but also originality, subject matter and thoughfulness of answers. with that in mind, all of you are winners, but i can't send a mystery gift to all of you, so i must now award....

JOHN "CAPTAIN NARCOLEPSY HUGHES" as the winner of this caption contest!

john, please email me your mailing address so that i can send you your prize!

thanks to everyone who entered, it was a very tough decision and in general, all of your answers kicked ass and took names. what tipped the scales in john's favor was, honestly, his usage of the phrase "lakes of blood."

keep watching for the next caption contest. it'll be fun, i promise!