Sunday, August 29, 2004

is that the chatanooga choo-choo?

so i'm leaving for ye olde train station in about an hour, getting ready to help pack up my mum and move her to minnesota. and then back here we will be on tuesday night. and i think i have everything i need (and probably much, much more) for my brief excursion. except valium. i don't have any valium. or booze. i don't have any booze. but by god, i'll be in MINOT soon, so i'm sure to acquire some booze while i am there.
what is it about that effing town that brings out that boozy side? is it the weather? the military presence? while minot's own Josh Duhamel may be showing his "Why Not Minot" pride all over hollywood, i feel as though the rest of us are just cringing inside.
i start the new job one week from tuesday. yayyyyyy! steady employment! i've got places to go and things to buy! a little something that the kid will totally enjoy and therefore have more room to throw her barbies around. anything i can do. i shan't be blogging much until late tuesday night when i'm back from minot trip #1 for the week. blogging is officially my drug of choice...what happens when i need a fix tomorrow and all i have time to do is load up a u-haul? you guessed it...booze.

sunday cleaning sunday

i cleaned the inside of my car. (not the floors -- they are covered by floormats.) the back seat -- especially where abbey will sit and eat/crush her m&ms -- was gross. now it's pretty. and i washed the exterior of my car which means that it will torrentially rain at any moment. there were/still are bugs glued to the front from our last north dakota trip, so i didn't make a huge effort to chisel them off, as they'll just be replaced by new ones on friday night drive back to nodak.
came across an old friend of mine on friendster -- a good lad i knew a million years ago when i was young and unstable. now i'm older and unstable, but it's always good to reconnect with decent folk (even if he is hippied-out)....ha! just kidding, chris -- you're good stuff.
i stink of windex.
at some point i have to pack for tonight's amtrak voyage to minot. i feel like i kind of blew all my manic energy....on news is CRAP.
"campus bias? are liberal professors pushing their leftist agenda onto students?"
why do i watch? is it that old train wreck theory?
wonderful woody allen quote, this from Annie Hall:

"The-the other important joke for me is one that's, uh, usually attributed to Groucho Marx, but I think it appears originally in Freud's wit and its relation to the unconscious. And it goes like this-I'm paraphrasing: Uh ... "I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member."


watch it. now. really. i am, right this very second. by the guy who made "american movie."

Good link

If you've not read Dustin's blog yet, you should. and here's my favorite quote about this election year from dustin:
"no fuckin way, Ralph. Not this year"

Saturday, August 28, 2004

Coming Soon:

DRY CLOTHES!!! okay, soon. we have a guy here working on our dryer situation. you know you are getting older when you actually have a dryer situation to be dealt with. so he's unhooking, hooking up, hose replacing and pipe kink flattening -- skills that i don't have, never will, and am therefore will to pay for.
i think we're making a go for the renaissance festival this afternoon. why? because we want to be good neighbors to the people who gave us the tix. (maybe they will have a snowblower; it's important to form alliances in this state.) and then there is a party also in shakopee that we will be attending tonight, so i think of it as two birds, one stone. or better yet, we won't need to drive to shakopee more than once.
okay, and if ONE MORE of those effing scooters that sound like large mosquitoes go by on my street, i will start flinging objects at them. maybe sharp objects. i mean, what the fuck are those things? it's like the shriners souped up their parade scooters and marketed them to backwards cap-wearing idiots. ugh.
tomorrow night i leave for minot --- for 24 hours. luckily i think we'll have hired help filling the truck, so my mom won't be totally dependent on me to lift heavy things. especially since i'm a walking malady (bad knees, out of shape, smoker, asthmatic, etc.) yes, meaghan, you are right, i'm a malady. (but a clever, cute malady, no?)

and now, folks, i'm going to use my NEW DRYER! hurrah!!!!!
(a happy, domestic dance to follow...)

Friday, August 27, 2004

stealing from joe mammy

This whole idea of a life soundtrack is pretty cool. whenever i'm going through certain phases, if you will, i'll make a cd for the soundtrack of my life...however if i follow joe mammy's example on his blog, this is what it would look like for me (brace yourself for plenty of NIN):

Opening song: Dry the Rain by The Beta Band
Waking up: Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega/DNA
First date: Chopsticks by Liz Phair
First kiss: In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
Falling in love: Gorecki by Lamb
Seeing an old love: Fire and Rain by James Taylor
Angry Heartbreak: Legs by PJ Harvey
Sad Heartbreak: Lost Cause by Beck
Driving fast: Lil Boots by Pet
Getting ready to go out: 6'1" by Liz Phair
Partying with friends: Anything by The Clash
Dancing at a club: Closer by NIN
Flirting: The Only Time by NIN
Walking alone in the rain: Adrift and At Peace by NIN
Going Home: Crucify (piano only version) by Tori Amos
Missing someone: Pictures of You by The Cure
Self-loathing: The Wretched by NIN
Playing in the ocean: Nightswimming by R.E.M.
Summer vacation: Just Like Heaven by The Cure
Fighting with someone: Wish by NIN; Gave Up by NIN
Acting goofy with friends: "Baby One More Time" by Bowling for Soup
Traveling: Anything by Indigo Girls pre 1994 (Galileo is a good one)
Thinking back: Pretty Good Year by Tori Amos
Feeling depressed: Darkness by Peter Gabriel; Dirty Tricks by Rhea Valentine
Christmas time: Anything from A Charlie Brown Christmas
Falling asleep: Homesick by The Cure
Closing song: Gone, Still from NIN

Thursday, August 26, 2004

gas dryers, messy bedrooms

the new dryer was delivered!
i am not confident in my gas line turning-off abilities (who needs to risk blowing up a house?), therefore i have neither disconnected the old dryer nor connected the new one. i'm willing to pay for someone to come do it for me. i think peace of mind is most certainly worth 85 clams. so that's tomorrow's expense.

my dad sent a target giftcard to me for school clothes for abbey, so we went a-shoppin' today and her mood and attitude is certainly affected by her clothing. right now she's sporting a long-sleeved black shirt with a pink lining, paired with a crocheted black shawl. she's acting all dramatic with her new attire, as if she is a struggling artist in a flat, lamenting her existence in this modern capitalistic, technologically-driven society.
not that she's said as much, but i know my kid.

so i'm putting abbey's new clothes away in her dresser and i realize that her dresser is literally EXPLODING with clothing. so i sift out the too small and too summer-ish clothing and you know what that leads to....inadvertent room cleaning. i remember being little and having a horribly, horribly messy room and my parents being constantly frustrated and pissed about it. (mind you, my room, as i type this, is fairly cluttered and organized.)

well it's come back to haunt me. abbey's room was FILLED with clutter, toys, clothing, half-empty water bottles and general rubbish. and i couldn't help but clean. and she got really ticked off when she saw that i had so callously tossed some barbie doll house things instead of just leaving them on the floor for me to step on in the dark and cuss over while trying not to wake her up. how could i be so insensitive?!? dj jazzy jeff and the fresh prince were SO right...parents just don't understand.

good stuff. props to the jeggmeister! Posted by Hello

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

new blog

okay, for the purpose of my not boring the usuals here with my incessant whining and letter writing, here is a blog set up just for that:
it'll mostly just exist to make me feel like i'm doing something besides sitting here and wishing i could have done something 25 years ago, wishing i would have said something. but i didn't and there's no turning back time (unless i own a DeLorean and am michael j. fox) so in lieu of all that, i offer up a simple page filled with anger and spite (the two forgotten spice girls?).

being proactive...

sucks and is not easy.
so i'm tired of feeling like i can't do anything to punish him, and i really, really wish this weren't happening again. i've talked to lawyers and i can't really do anything. i've talked to the bureau of criminal investigation and he's no longer required to register as an offender. maybe i just need to believe that people like him can be rehabilitated. but i don't. i know that if he no longer existed it would not make my life any easier. i've been told by one person that i need to learn forgiveness before i can feel better -- but that is never going to fucking happen. i blocked it out for so many years, why can't i continue to just do that? i wrote him a letter that i need to send. but before i send it i want to exhaust as many possibilities as i can. maybe i'll make an angry little blog of letters i wish i could send but haven't yet. maybe. keep your eyes peeled.

Monday, August 23, 2004


so how personal do people get in blogs? have i gotten overtly personal with my information? maybe it's just one of those mental moment days in which everything is overwhelming. i have so much just swirling around in my head that i can't focus and i can't find a way to slow it down. i feel like my heart is breaking and it's horrible and i'm so sick of this.

Update on Little Ti's

at Little Ti's i ordered the #6. this meal is comprised of two enchiladas (i chose chicken) and two tacos with a combo of beans and rice on the side. and a big ass coke.
at the megaplex in oakdale dustin, terry and i saw "Exorcist: the beginning" and it was pretty good. nice backstory, a few too many subplots.
monday agenda:
call abbey in the a.m.
make errand phone calls
pick up freelance paycheck (hurrah!)
supertarget for groceries, sheets for new bed, etc.
and so far, so good w/the couch. terry thought the couch looked good, not dingy, and agreed that it feels incredibly soft. so soft i might just sleep on it tonight.

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Cigar Dust. Posted by Hello

the not really new couch. we don't have a picture of how it looked before the 2.5 hour cleaning spree. whatcha think? Posted by Hello

couches, etc.

okay, so i think we've nailed down the perpetrator of the couch foulness, and it's Little Brother(however he's not so little, but it's too creepy to call him Big Brother). i didn't catch him in the act but when we loaded in the new (someone's old) couch, he sniffed around it and meowed angrily. i don't know how he managed it, but he sounded really pissed off that we had removed the cat couch.

a few minutes later i went up to my room and found a completely horrible mess on my bed that, in now way, could have been left by any of our smaller cats -- there are only two cats capable of something that size, and i kishon has never done that. so yeah, little bro is pissed about the couch. but that's just too damn bad.

and we have now sprayed the couch with the "stay off the damn couch, cats" spray. we'll see what happens.

okay, to go back in time a little bit, we found a couch.
our last couch we found on, so i figured we'd check there again. i came across a listing for a free couch outside of someone's house. it was midnight when i read the listing and i know that i have sort of a instant gratification issue, so off we went to find the couch. it was dark and not a streetlight could be found. we surveyed it, a nice shape to it, and we crammed it into the subaru.

we brought it home and getting it into the house was no easy feat whatsoever. finally it was in and we saw a couch that i imagine was once a taupe color.....this still was taupe-esque, but it appeared that the previous owner was maybe a mechanice and rolled all over the couch in filty garb. it was scary and it was a lot of effort to simply put in in the car, let alone get it in the house.

so we cleaned like we've never cleaned before. first the spray-on oxyclean. then the steam cleaning machine w/bleach added. then the machine w/pure oxyclean added. then a shop vac to get out the excess liquid. by then it was nearly 3 a.m. and really, really time to sleep.

now the old stinky couch in on the porch (how white trash is that?), on its way to the garbage pick up spot for tomorrow's collection. now the "new" couch is in our living and looks pretty good. it's not the best thing in the world but know what? it was FREE.

and "mad max" is on right now. sweet.

so i'll upload a picture of aforementioned free couch and you can all weigh in your thoughts. the things we do to conserve money.

now we are up to today. and the eventual 9:40 p.m. showing of "Exorcist: The Beginning" with mr. terry walker tonight. and maybe some yummy stuff at Little Ti's in Mpls. before that.

Friday, August 20, 2004

strange smells in the night air

went out on the porch for a second and i swear, i think someone is burning sandalwood incense outside somewhere -- it smells like my first apartment, so much that my nose actually burned from it. strange.

abbey and i have a bedtime ritual of me staying in her room with her at night until she falls asleep -- it's a nice time to just talk about stuff, everything from what friends said and did in the day to what she wants to do for her birthday party (that won't be until march). last night i was next to her until she fell asleep and usually i'm so preoccupied about doing this or that that i don't just sit and listen to her sleep. but last night i just stayed an extra moment or two and listened to her breathe. many days i forget about what she was like when she was really young, but last night the way she slept, the way she would exhale and have those little falling asleep leg jerks -- it was very much like when she was really little. she's pretty amazing.

and now my moment of nice thoughts is ruined by effing Fox news. god, the way they are going on about the LYING ads about john kerry's service record, you would think kerry would have been responsible for misleading a country into war...... oh wait, that was OUR PRESIDENT.

and where is that sandalwood smell coming from? jeez....

i want to watch a dvd. not sure what i feel like, so i am stranded in cable tv land out of sheer laziness.

a blog here in blogger was brought up on the main page as a blog they have noticed lately. it's entitled Prison Pete and no, it's not just a clever name. it's a blog written by a prison inmate -- via writing by hand and then his editor inputs everything. i think that's how it works. anyhow, Prison Pete doesn't discolse specifics about why he was incarcerated, but that whatever it was, he pled guilty and was sentenced to 8 years or something like that in one prison, and is now trying to avoid serving a separate sentence for the same crime in NY for another i don't know how many years. anyhow it's pretty strange reading it, sometimes feeling a bit sorry for him and then questioning myself. "what did he do to get such a huge sentence?" he made the comparison about how people who murder others get less time than what he got, so it's not that. i keep thinking that i shouldn't read it anymore, b/c i'll find out he was a pederass or something, but then i go back for more. strange compulsion, like a train wreck. anyways, it's worth a look-see.

now, shameless begging:


so my oldest sister is in town this weekend w/her son, so tomorrow will begin with a few rounds of bowling, then some lunch, some time for all the cousins to play (and ultimately fight, throw hissy fits and experience cousin rivalry) and then hopefully we'll fit in some couch shopping time.

and now a list of things i like and things i hate:
- abbey
- dustin
- cable tv
- the smell of sheets and towels fresh from the dryer
- eyeliner
- target (when i have money to spend)
- tattoos (ones done after the age of 19)
- cats
- pad thai
- al franken
- that moment when you first lay down in bed, realizing that you are not required to get up for at least six hours
- smoking (when i don't cough like a mofo)
- that i've lived through a horrible experience, lived through re-living that experience and both kick ass and take names
- four poster beds
- argyle (socks are good, cardigans are better)
- coca cola

and now a list of things that i don't like:
- infomercials (b/c i can't turn away)
- target (when i don't have money to spend)
- tattoos (ones done before i turned 20)
- aroma of cat urine
- george w. bush as president (i think as a neighbor or mailman he'd be fine)
- smoking (or worse, the horrible NEED to smoke)
- curry
- reese witherspoon (no real reason; just not a fan)
- that moment when you've fallen asleep, you have a horrifying dream that someone is going to hurt you, and you can't fall back to sleep
- that i will have to be on medication for the rest of my life
- that what i take medication for will never go away
- a mattress on the floor because my box spring won't fit up the stairway
- diet coke (heresy!)

hmm. not a bad list.

time for an online poll:


okay, so i've seen catnip used on cats before and it was always a pleasant experience... the cat would be subdued, sort of stoned. so we brought some catnip home today and instead of being pot for cats...they acted in the manner of hysterical coke-heads! insane creatures! that will not happen again, i say!

my daughter is home with me today and we're both enjoying some quality computer time, which is not easy when you don't have a couch to sit on. i mean, we have the couch, but it's currently soaked with nature's miracle in a last-ditch attempt to salvage it (see previous posts). and i really need to mow the lawns. and do some laundry. and finish dishes. and clean my room. and i'm really, really glad that i have a job starting soon, b/c then i can stop feeling guilty about not doing anything around the house. here is a scene from my life currently:

Gosh, I'd clean the house, but I've got all this..... um..... well..... okay, I guess I'll try to clean.
(Cut to scene showing me blogging in lieu of cleaning.)
Now here is a scene of me three weeks (or less) from now:
Gosh, I'd clean the house, but I've been working all damn day and now I have to lament more work things before I go to sleep.
So yeah, I'm lazy and that is what it really comes down to. and now, a shameless plea for help:
shameless. totally without shame.


I'm now using my blog as a classified ad forum.


freelancing, schmeelance

okay, freelancing is a really cool way to get through those tough times of unemployment. and i'm always really grateful for any work that comes along. but it really PISSES ME OFF when the payment doesn't come and doesn't come and they just think they can put it off until it's more convenient for them BECAUSE I REALLY NEED IT. grrrrrrr.............. a pox on their house.
so glad that after september 7th i won't need to do it anymore. bugger.
so we are looking for a new couch. or a used couch. i don't know if our cats have forgotten, but we actually have a fully functional litter box and for some reason one of them chooses to urinate on the sofa. and so i've wasted enough time and energy and money cleaning it and i'm glad it was a free couch, b/c it's a done deal now. and i think it was the evil one that did it, so her time in my house is very, very limited. apparently there is a spray that you can apply to furniture to make it undesireable for animals to use in lieu of a litter box, however i did not know of this spray until it was too late. better luck next time, eh?
so might get a couch. will need mode of transport for said couch. i need a couch AND a truck.

Thursday, August 19, 2004

Action Squad pretty boss. Check them out. I'm sure I'm the only one who didn't know of their existence. but i'm glad i do now.

George visits Xcel Energy Center

dust and i heard W. speaking on npr and we realized that it was live from the Xcel center. we listened and muttered profanity and then drove by the center. happily we saw kerry-edwards supporters -- we honked, they cheered, it was neat. stick it to the man.

Wednesday, August 18, 2004


READ THIS LINK! holy crap holy crap! i don't know how to react, but you are damn sure to see me at the theater!

our newest addition

we just bought a dryer! a lovely GE gas dryer for a very low price on account of an external "ding" type cosmetic look. they will deliver it on the 26th. we will install it and all will be right with the laundry world. currently our dryer needs three damn cycles to run. it sucks gas and will slowly bleed us dry. a new dryer will help all. and a three year warranty is nice. and it's shiny and white and has a big inside so as to fit my ridiculously sized loads. i'm happy. i'm getting old and things like a new dryer make me happy.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004


i can't stop reading this. repeatedly.
the movie "project x" is on right now. we can all learn a valuable lesson. and that lesson is that matthew broderick looks cute in a blue jumpsuit.

the word "relief?" doesn't even cover it.

SOOOOO relieved about working.
dust and i went out last night to celebrate the happiness that is employment. went out to Brit's Pub and had dinner up on the lawn and watched "love actually" with about 1o0 other people enjoying the lovely weather. kind of wished i had paid attention earlier in the summer -- i would have gone to more monday night movies.
just read what i wrote a couple of nights ago on this here blog -- hoping that i'm not giving the appearance of being a raging alcoholic, as is not the case.
my oldest sister is coming to visit this weekend w/her son, matthew. we'll spend some time with matt and my abbey at the minnesota zoo, which should be a good time.
and our kitten, wanda, keeps trying to attack my neck whilst cuddling. i think she has dementia.

Monday, August 16, 2004


remember that job i interviewed for.....
I GOT IT!!!!!!!!!
starts sept. 7. magazines for in and out of state law enforcement agencies. A JOB! A FREAKIN' JOB!

Sunday, August 15, 2004

a little drinky

okay, i really, really like vodka spiked w/cranberry juice, mixed with actual cranberry juice and 7up. who knew 7up could give it that extra "zing?" dustin did. what a man.
my eyes are sleepy and i really would like to stay awake, but i fear it shan't happen. or shant. does that word require an apostrophe t? i think so. but i may be wrong. i am wrong oft.
today i had another "episode" of uncontrollable rage which led to dissociation. or was it doubling or splitting? all these words to describe a completely horrible experience. in short, i saw and heard everything that i said and did, but could not control any bit of it. i just sat, curled up with my knees to my chest, watching it from the inside out. i hate that this is who i am, and i hate that the person responsible will never be able to see what i have become because of his behavior. i hate that i can't have it go away forever and i hate that i feel like the only way i can stop it is to slice my skin open. i hate that i'm drunk and telling the whole effing world that i'm nuts and i hate that i don't know why it's happening again. and i hate that i don't know when it will happen next and i hate that it is still happening. i hate that i'm scared of it and i hate that i had to switch therapists b/c i don't want to start w/someone new with this going on. i hate that i smoked a cigarette and i hate that my patch felt not only itchy on my skin, but also that they seemed not to work. i'm a little bit filled with hate right now. i feel like a monster. i hate that feeling. i hate that dustin is witness to this craziness and i hate that my daughter will one dayh be ashamed of her crazy mother. and i hate that i'm sleepy and my eyes are closing. and i hate that alcohol makes me feel better.

Thursday, August 12, 2004


"the world is safer..."

is george crazy??????? is that why we are on super-hot-pink-magenta alert every other day? ahhhhhhhhhh! make it stop! make it stop!

then a few minutes later.......

"we are under threat....we've got troops in harms way in both afghanistan and iraq..."

well now i'm just confused. bugger.

watching a car wreck

the wee george w. is on larry king right now. i'm entranced. it's overpowering my codeine. why can't he just be a neighbor? why can't he just be some guy on our block who lends us the snowblower, who hosts the block parties and he'd feed our cats when we were away and we'd walk his dog when they were out of town.

i know he's been in office for four years but he looks like he's aged a decade since he began. i can only imagine that the job would prematurely age a person, but he looks like his skin was once a paper towel that was wet and crinkled up into a ball, then smoothed out and made into a face. texas sun damage + lying to the country = bad skin.

has james garner ever played the president in a movie? he did, didn't he? he's doing a voice over on a commercial and i really like his voice; a very presidential voice, whatever that means. firm. confident.

watching george as laura speaks is good fun. but george is so in favor of preserving "potential life" from embryonic stem cell research. but he's alllll about leading people into a war that they can't get out of.

"i think it's important for us to promote a culture of life." NICE, GEORGE. i think larry king wants to punch george in the head. that'd be the best larry king EVER.

i think the cough syrup is working. my eyelids are heavier. my cough had quieted for the most part.

"you can't separate your faith from your life..i think the church out to be separate from the
state, and the state separate from the church..."

that explains why he's so compassionate about same-sex marriages...oh wait, HE'S NOT.

ooh! larry's onto him! he's talking about the amendment to "protect heterosexual marriage."

he talks about "gays" like they are a different species. "there are ways to protect the gays."


okay, so according to my last dose of that nasty robitussin cough syrup, i'm a mere hour away from taking my nighttime robitussin syrup -- mixed with codeine, for added goodness. nice sleep i shall have. last night was pretty miserable, so if this doesn't work, i'm willing to have someone punch me in the head.

abbey heard me coughing in the middle of the night and she has been awake since probably 4 a.m. it's 9:16 now and she's looking pretty wiped. there is a talent show at her summer program and she's trying on possible costumes. right now she is sporting black fishnets (courtesy of aunt meg), white mary janes, a pink leotard, a pink satin wrap-around skirt, little fairy wings made and...... A TIARA!!! she looks fantastic.

one of our neighbors who just moved in next door stopped by -- brought over some comp tickets for the renaissance fair -- the neighbors have an irish band and they do shows there, i guess. sure, i'm up for a little mockery of the festies! sweet!

oh sweet codeine, you are but a few moments away.....

f**king ailments

i am a walking malady.
so i think we all remember the "week of the laryngitis," brought on by lovely allergies. well i got a nice allergy bout last night and now we are at the "day of the bronchitis." there is far too much "itis" in my life. so i now have antibiotics, some harsh, five-day regimen that burns the hell out of my stomach but will work faster. and a new inhaler for the asthma. and nose spray. and cough syrup spiked with codeine. and the most exciting pharmaceutical purchase?


i've been sick for far too long and i blame the demon tobacco. and i don't feel ready to try again, but i am having a really hard time breathing. and you know what? even though this patch doesn't stay sticky under a sleeve for a very long time, once you tape it on with medical tape it does offer a soothing release of nicotine. and i haven't really felt that creepy withdrawl urge... i have the urge to go out on the porch and light up, and driving w/out smoking is not easy to get used to, but i don't feel terribly edgy. yet. i remember how shitty day two and three are, so i'm really looking forward to that.

and i'm still ahead of p-funk in blogs. ha!
he says:
"Passed me!?! Bah! Bah, I say! I have quality in depth posts counting for mine and you have a crap load of pictures taking one post a piece. I am the king! Some toast! Some toast! My kingdom for some toast!"

now, i am pretty new at this whole blogging phenomenon, but using HELLO to post pictures in my blog, it posts them as individual blog: this was not some way to out do paul or his evil twin, joe mammy. take that, toast man!

i would also like to do a few things on my page, such as:
show links i like
tell people what i am doing today, listening to today, etc.
add clever profile picture of someone that is not me,
and things of that nature. however being inept i don't know how to do these things. any thoughts, folks? and by god, make it easy... i'm wearing a patch and i'm not afraid to whip it across the room in a fury of technology frustration.

this weekend? well i think a viewing of "open water" might be in order; the meaghan wants to see "troy" at the dolla' theater; will be attending closing night of dustin's fringe play; just tonight and sunday left to catch it, so do it! and write a review! might also accompany terry to see "manchurian candidate" this weekend.

i'm coughing a lot. and i have another half-hour before i can take more cough syrup. nuts. and i'm SOOO GLAD that my daughter is complaining about being bored whilst i do my best to impersonate a victim of "the consumption." yeah, that's helping a great deal.
nah, she's a great kid --- can't blame her for being bored, and yet i can't cure that boredom. time to be a bad mommy and offer up the electronic babysitter: the dvd player.

Monday, August 09, 2004

a school for kids of famous people?

madonna is irritating me.
i think it's lovely that she is funding education. i think celebrities who give to worthy causes are nice. however this school that she is starting will cost parents $3,500 a semester to send their child. $3,500. THAT'S FUCKING RIDICULOUS. so basically if you are wealthy, hey, send your child there! but if you are not, i guess you are just fucked... grrrrr......

Students could be attending the Kabbalist Grammar School for Children -- purportedly located down the street from the Big M's Manhattan digs -- by year's end, says the paper.
"The school has been a dream of Madonna's for some time," relays an insider. "Education means a lot to her and she was keen to make the most of her money by leaving a lasting mark as well as helping kids."
Admission requirements for the so-called K School will reportedly involve a rigid academic test and an in-depth family interview. Parents interested in having their little ones attend the school should be prepared to fork over about $3,500 a semester. For that price, the kiddies will not only get the standard three R's, but will be exposed to a curriculum centered in "spirituality." Oh, and non-Kabbalists need not apply.

stupid. stupid. stupid. a generation of small children wearing red string bracelets like brittney.

he's so dreamy...(the beard in photo no longer exists.) Posted by Hello

i win!

i've officially out-blogged joe-mammy!
saw the opening of dustin's play, "unemployable" at the fringe fest last night. it was a great turnout and very funny, and each night will become tighter and tighter with the cast and the dialogue. i'm so proud of him for doing this! i'm so proud to know him and to have him around me..

for those of you who don't know dustin, he was raised in deering, n.d. and graduated in 1995 from glenburn high school. he graduated from minot high w/degrees in english and art. he kicks ass and you should visit his site. he does a bit of everything and is truly an amazing writer.

anyhow, if you are in the twin cities area you should definitely see Unemployable! do it and then write a review! support the north dakota posse and independent theatre all in one swoop!

he's my boy so i'm sure i'm biased with his work, but i also remember the first time i heard him read his writing... fucking amazing. i couldn't breathe, actually. i could tell he was nervous as he read pretty fast and i remember his hands shaking as he was holding his pages. he's beautiful.

so go already, damn it!

strange aroma

there is a plumber type fellow in our basement, installing a "clean out" drain, which i don't know what it is, except it will:
1. facilitate another plumber type fellow to be in our basement, actually cleaning out our main line; and
2. cost upwards of 350 clams; and
3. ultimately allow me to use my washing machine again; and
4. possibly get me high, due to some bizarre smelling compound drifting up in the vents. is that a glue smell?
it doesn't really smell good, however i'm too lazy to investigate further. and i need a cigarette and i need --- wait, he's carrying equipment from the basement to his it finished?
it is! now awaiting plumber #2.

Saturday, August 07, 2004

ashlese simpson, continued

okay. so now i'm a few sheets to the windo. i mean the windo. i mean the wind.
watching the ashlee simpson show. i was harsh on my previous review. not necessarily wrong, just harsh. i think in maybe five years she will be a much better musician once she is past her teen angst shite.
and i think this is the episode where she is at our local mall of america. my sister was working that day at jcrew and was irritated by the noise from the rotunda when ashlee made her appearance.
yeah, a few years will do her some good. and hopefully she won't turn into a courtney love-type nightmare. ewwwww.....
i'm a little drunk.

Friday, August 06, 2004

fight club the MUSICAL?

a big, huge WTF for you: according to ain't it cool news, fight club might be made into a musical? and NIN is doing music? what??? is this some sort of parody web site or is this for real? anyone?

"At a reading last night on the UW campus, Chuck answered a question from the audience about the fight club musical. He said that the same folks who financed the movie are tentatively behind it, as are Fincher and Reznor (who's agreed to do the soundtrack!). but...he did note that while they've got a bunch of talk going on and the promise of Reznor, they ain't got much else.
Chuck went on to say that most of the stuff they do with his writing he doesn't care about; he says he can't really control how the studios fuck with his characters or themes, so he just accepts the checks and goes on his way. Choke, Survivor and Invisible Monsters are all in some form gonna hit theaters (Choke first...starting filming in a couple months). BUT, he did say that he'd be personally involved in just about anything if he got to work with both Reznor and Fincher on the project (he said he'd even do "Fight Club on Ice" if that's what it took). "

wouldn't that be something...something peculiar. although this snippet page had a great quote from Chuck:
"Can you imagine people in New Jersey paying $120 to drive to the city and watch a musical about anarchy?"

Thursday, August 05, 2004

interview thoughts

i think the interview went pretty well -- i should hear from them soon. i hope.
the voice is slowly coming back. i can't speak for hours on end or anything, but i no longer have to just whisper everything. i can start speaking in my irritated mother voice again soon.

we'll have company this weekend, so i made a pretty good dent in the cluttery living room area and now am awaiting the will power to vacuum.
then onto the dining room.
then onto the upstairs.
i think dustin will receive the gift of having to clean the kitchen.
filth: the gift that keeps on giving.
okay, filth is not the right word.
okay, maybe it is.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

crazy link

so dustin just passed this link onto me. as he said, these would probably be really funny if they weren't real. the link is for a site that shows different leaflets and whatnot that were dropped to the iraqi people. check it out.

parenting 101

being a mom is a curious thing that certainly isn't helping me regain my voice. right now the child is upstairs, pretending to sleep but really, i can hear her traipse around the bedrooms, seeking the box of barbie dolls i hid in my room so she would stop playing w/the blasted things and JUST SLEEP.

"one more second of playing won't hurt, mom! one more second!"


and the familiar creak of my door opening. hahahahahaha she'll never look under the towel on my floor. see -- if i were a neat freak, i wouldn't be able to get away with anything. piles of clothes: that's the secret of parenting.

just got word that some minot folks will be paying us a visit for the occasion of dustin's play -- lovely! our guests will be adam files and his lovely girl, missy aili. (i'm sure i butchered the spelling of her last name.) i believe that jay jenkins will be driving with them, although staying elsewhere.

okay, all seems quiet i dare peek or just wait and then make a sad, pathetic attempt to yell at a later time? i should sleep. no, i should try on clothing to wear for the interview. (stream of consciousness thought: no, i should smoke a cigarette (unwise but will still do it) and then lament about what to wear and hope that my mary janes are where i think they are but not actually check until it's time to leave and then have a panic attack about how "i've not any shoes to wear!")

to sleep i go. wish me luck. wish me stunning wit and incredible charm and an aire of expertise she hasn't seen from anyone else and won't see in anyone else. wish me a full, lovely speaking voice instead of my creepy, wheezing, screeching cackle; wish me the poise of grace kelly and the "i kick ass at everything-ness" of... sigourney weaver; wish me the confidence i always wanted to have but never did; wish me the knowledge of all the right things to say at the right time to say them; wish me a good salary and benefits that start in less than 90 days; wish me a good computer (Mac G5) and legitimate software and paid holidays and my own desk -- maybe even a cubicle!


parenting 101

being a mom is a curious thing that certainly isn't helping me regain my voice. right now the child is upstairs, pretending to sleep but really, i can hear her traipse around the bedrooms, seeking the box of barbie dolls i hid in my room so she would stop playing w/the blasted things and JUST SLEEP.

"one more second of playing won't hurt, mom! one more second!"


and the familiar creak of my door opening. hahahahahaha she'll never look under the towel on my floor. see -- if i were a neat freak, i wouldn't be able to get away with anything. piles of clothes: that's the secret of parenting.

just got word that some minot folks will be paying us a visit for the occasion of dustin's play -- lovely! our guests will be adam files and his lovely girl, missy aili. (i'm sure i butchered the spelling of her last name.) i believe that jay jenkins will be driving with them, although staying elsewhere.

okay, all seems quiet i dare peek or just wait and then make a sad, pathetic attempt to yell at a later time? i should sleep. no, i should try on clothing to wear for the interview. (stream of consciousness thought: no, i should smoke a cigarette (unwise but will still do it) and then lament about what to wear and hope that my mary janes are where i think they are but not actually check until it's time to leave and then have a panic attack about how "i've not any shoes to wear!")

to sleep i go. wish me luck. wish me stunning wit and incredible charm and an aire of expertise she hasn't seen from anyone else and won't see in anyone else. wish me a full, lovely speaking voice instead of my creepy, wheezing, screeching cackle; wish me the poise of grace kelly and the "i kick ass at everything-ness" of... sigourney weaver; wish me the confidence i always wanted to have but never did; wish me the knowledge of all the right things to say at the right time to say them; wish me a good salary and benefits that start in less than 90 days; wish me a good computer (Mac G5) and legitimate software and paid holidays and my own desk -- maybe even a cubicle!


interview thoughts

okay, so i'm getting kind of a nervousness about my interview tomorrow; trying to anticipate all those dreaded questions like "what are your weaknesses" and "where do you see yourself five years from now" type things.
i will now list my weaknesses (and i'm assuming when they ask this, it's work related and not how i can't turn down a camel turkish royal cigarette):
1. tendency to take my work home with me in a stressed out/can think of nothing else sort of way
2. i suck ass at making clipping paths in photoshop
3. ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
you see, i know i have more, but usually i don't notice them until the moment they happen, and then i'm thinking on my feet so it won't bog me down.
4. i will run myself ragged pleasing people
5. i need to be more disciplined with learning more software tricks that i've not already come across. (that might be a good one to list)

hmm. i don't know if there is a better way to say "suck ass at clipping paths." that really sums it up, but sadly, not appropriate for an interview setting.

let's all keep our collective fingers crossed tomorrow, folks.

Tuesday, August 03, 2004

west wing

okay, who here likes the show "the west wing?"
(i await a comment)
dustin asked me if i thought that the CIA funds this show, jokingly, of course, but also that he thinks that because the show simply exists, it seems like blatant propaganda.
so i'm wondering if:
1. did this show exist before 9/11? it did, didn't it?
2. am i being snowed by blatant propaganda, or am i simply attracted to the show by the witty, fast-paced dialogue?
any thoughts, anyone?

your country thanks you, and i thank you.


Ahhhh! Finally! a job interview! a publisher called today and unfortunately i still did not have a substantial voice but i managed to get an interview scheduled for thursday a.m. hurrah! now terry is on his way over -- mashed potatoes at ember's and a dollar movie in is sweet.
oh, and i'm down 6.5 pounds in a week. hurrah, again!

Sunday, August 01, 2004

movie day!

first of all, watch will ferrell kick ass at

okay, so we saw "the village" and "manchurian candidate," both in one day! hurrah! it's amazing how inspired one will become to go to movies all day when one's vocal chords are incapacitated.
the village was cool, very good and very entertaining. adrien brody kicks ass all over the place and joaquin phoenix is wonderfully understated.
"manchurian candidate" is one of those movies that, in an ideal society, you walk away from saying "wow! what crazy science fiction is that?!?" but in our society today, you walk out saying "well, the only thing dick cheney is missing is the implant." if you have seen it/will watch it, you will understand.
and i'm sure everyone has seen the terror alerts for d.c., nyc and nj? i don't even know what to think about those. i'm sure fox news is having one hell of a day.

at some point i'd really like to get my vocal chords working again. you know, like, tomorrow would be fine.

and just so i don't appear too content, my f**king tooth is starting to feel a little too sensitive now. f**k. fuck. there. i typed it.

it's time for the john hughes (not the director) drink of champions:
1 bottle of nyquil
1 straw


yeah, the voice is pretty much gone, folks. i think that justifies an entire day spent watching movies, right?
you are so wise...
dust and i are watching "hijacking catastrophe," another documentary-type thing that will just make the average joe/jane pretty angry and generally disgusted.
"i'm a war prezdent.....war on my mind..." gross. this makes me very excited to just escape into a movie theater.
last night while watching the first half of this movie, i asked dustin what he thought would happen if bush was re-elected. neither one of us thinks this will happen given the unity against bush.... but if suddenly, say in mid-october, osama is found or there is another catastrophic attack on america, well, let's just say neither one of us will be too surprised. nothing makes a country rally around its "leaders" like victory/catastrophe.

let's look at some things that really tick me off:

--if clinton had flown timothy mcveigh's family out of the country after the oklahoma city bombing, what would the republicans have done to him?
--if clinton had been a deserter during the vietnam instead of an admitted draft dodger, what would the republicans say about him?
--if rush limbaugh put out a movie, would people call him "anti-american," as they have about michael moore?

i'll bet that george w. busy would be a great neighbor; he'd grab our newspapers for us when we were out of town, he'd let us have that cup of sugar when we were short, he'd lend us the snowblower -- hell, he'd probably snowblow for us -- probably great with simple humor at bbqs and campfires and try to get us to go camping even though we didn't like camping...
why can't he just be a neighbor? do you think he's happy w/what is going on? do you think he has a clue what his dad's friends have gotten him into? or is he smarter than he lets on?

this i just said to dustin:
"now you have me blogging about this stuff..."
dustin responded with a slight smile of victory.

today is my first day of health/dental/vision insurance since....january? and even then i only had it for a day or two before i was laid off. no office/er/hospital copays. $3 prescription copay. hell, i'll be at the doctor's for a papercut, simply b/c i can.

a sharp and hacking cough

summer colds. dreamy! that familiar rattling in my chest, that horrible smell in your nose when you realize you are getting a sinus infection....freakin' great! hurrah! i can't get enough dayquil! fantastic!

earlier in the evening at my sister's in eagan i had a really cool, really raspy and, quite honestly, pretty sexy voice. however i kept talking, engaging in interesting conversation and before i knew it, my sexy, raspy voice declined into a sad, pathetic half-whisper. in a two-syllable word, i now only have one syllable worth of sound. nuts.

but who needs sound when the only plan for the next 24 hours is to see "the village" at the neighborhood multiplex??? not i!

"i love the 70s" is on vh1 right now and i've officially decided that i want michael ian black to be my friend, spend time at my house and eat hot dish with me. however the "entertainers" being "interviewed" for the "1972" show are saying that scooby snacks were pot brownies. why can't a scooby snack just be a damn scooby snack?

a small cat just crawled up onto my rack and fell asleep. my rack. my shelf, if you will. a cozy bed for a kitty. however my hellacious hacking is less than soothing and she has just bolted.

i need nyquil.