Saturday, March 31, 2007

i'm cyst-free!


actually i think this looks pretty cool. then again, i have stitches for tattoos, so...

Friday, March 30, 2007

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

someone in this office will pay...

a cell phone just rang and the ringtone? gwen stefani. and now i have some effing "sweet escape" song stuck in my head and IT WON'T GO AWAY.

all is lost. someone's gonna pay for this....

and this is why i LOVE the onion.

Anna Nicole Smith Finally Reaches Target Weight

The Onion

Anna Nicole Smith Finally Reaches Target Weight

NASSAU, BAHAMAS—Some weight-loss experts do not find Smith's achievement inspirational, claiming that such drastic dieting can lead to a dangerous loss of muscle mass.

i suppose it had to happen eventually...

... that i'd be REALLY MISERABLE AND HORRIBLY FUCKING CRANKY FROM NOT SMOKING. i've been upbeat for the most part, but HOLY CRAP i feel awful right now. it's as though i'm two point three seconds away from shouting out all the horrible, nasty, mean-spirited things i have rattling around in my brain at all times. at least i'll get some good snidecards out of it.

Monday, March 26, 2007

my really fucked up teeth

last summer i spent a lot of money getting some root canals. i put off the crown process until my dental insurance kicked in, which i now have and was planning on getting finished up in mid april b/c my insurance is AMAZING.


last night i was chewing some nicotine gum. i chewed on the right side of my mouth where a root canaled tooth is pretty brittle and BAM, the temporary filling pulls out. so now i have these canals that i fear are exposed and am pretty concerned about the following:

1. getting food stuck in this tooth, causing an infection
2. having to miss work for a freaking dentist appointment (esp. since i have to miss work for a lame cyst-ectomy. maybe i should make all appointments for the same day...)
3. not being able to chew nicotine gum b/c i don't want this to happen again
4. smoking from stress of not using nicotine gum (patches don't work well for me)
5. the toothache i'm beginning to experience as a result of my exposed canals.

so tomorrow's plan: call dentist office and figure out the next step. i think it will be a tooth buildup and a crown. and that will start off the long journey toward a mouth of more stable teeth. THIS IS THE SUCK.

Friday, March 23, 2007

can cake help you sleep?

pretty sure that birthday cake won't help you sleep, but that didn't stop me from having a piece. it's four-thirty-two in the a.m. and i've been awake for about an hour. but i fell asleep early. and it's friday. and i've not smoked since sunday night. but here's the burning question: will i be able to hold out over the weekend? will i be able to keep my temper under control if i see other people smoking? will the urge to jab out my eyes with a pen pass anytime soon?

i want to sleep. i NEED to sleep. see how tired i look?

see? so tired is the kari.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

this might just be the way to go.

so i might give Chantix a try. b/c this gum thing? not working.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


...but hopefully the super bad-ass, hard-core sleep pill i just took will kick in soon enough.

okay, it's really just a benadryl. but in addition to being a great remedy for my itchy eyes, it makes me drowsy. it's a win-win!

not sure why i'm sleepless. may have something to do with the non-smoking fiasco, as that was my usual way of breathing deeply (even if i was deeply breathing rat poison) and relaxing. now i'm left with.... tv. but on the upside of that, many channels have now put scrubs into syndication, and falling asleep to the sound of zach braff is never a bad thing.

so now, dear reader, i will wander back into bed and await the slumber that only an over-the-counter antihistimine can provide.

Cyst Removal is the new black

i have a ganglion cyst on my left ringfinger. tomorrow i'll have aforementioned cyst removed at a surgeon's office. this is my hand now:

but on the upside, my thyroid medication is totally making my nails all strong and pretty.

Day Two. Yuck.

the mourning continues...

Monday, March 19, 2007

Day two will probably be worse...

today: a contest

this is my new pen. it is a gorilla pen and there is a lever on the back which makes it possible for this gorilla to box. much like the boxing nun, but not a nun. or a puppet, for that matter. it's a gorilla pen.

but now: i need a name. the winner gets a prize.
i hate quitting smoking. blah.


this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks this sucks.
day one. nicorette fruit chill gum is the addiction of choice today.
fucking fucking fuckity fuck.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

down to four cigs per day...

.... decreasing by one per day. luckily i have the support of so many people, including:

thanks trent reznor!

eleven years ago today...

the most amazing girl in the world was born.

happy birthday to my kiddo!!!!!

Sunday, March 04, 2007

new glasses

so i've got new glasses. i'm not 100% in love with the frames, but here they are.

if a picture says a thousand words...

so this guy apparently dismembered his wife.

now, take a look at his picture. frankly, i would be surprised that a man with that expression DIDN'T dismember someone.

Saturday, March 03, 2007

hey, this interweb thing is nifty!

i keep finding articles i want others to read:

the more i think about it, the more interesting it is.

600 to 1 odds in the jesus tomb's favor...

those who can't do, mock.

at the older sister's tonight, watching the younger sister, her fiance, my brother in law and my husband play Halo II. and i'm notoriously BAD at playing games which require a controller more elaborate than an Atari joystick, so i'm watching. and mocking. why? because i can't play, but i can mock. and i will pepper this post with snippets of conversation.

"die, commie!"
"yay! i killed someone!"

in nin-related news (because i'm clearly obsessed), there will be a year zero listening party in minneapolis:

Tuesday, March 13 th @ 7 pm Varsity Theater 1308 4th St SE

and dude, it's totally free, so COUNT ME IN (along with the 200 angst-ridden teenagers who, back in my day, would be goth. now they are "emo.")

"i just beat you down."
"oh, shit's gonna happen now."
"you beat me down?"
"awwww...i just threw a grenade and i thought i shot you..." (upon seeing self blown up.)

this just in: (not really. i knew about this yesterday) dustin's youtube account was stripped of all video and comments because of some silly copyright issue. am considering cancelling mine out of protest, but hate the thought of depriving the world of benito's dance video.

"run away!"
"oh man, you hunted me down like a squirrel."
"you fuckin' squirrel."
"i sure was killed."

originally i was planning on seeing "the zodiac" tomorrow, but i think the amount of time i'll be awake tonight will prohibit me from functioning like a normal human. so maybe next weekend.

"longest fight ever."
"that's cause i can't hit anything. that's the problem."

oh! new glasses are upon my face! i feel normal again. and apparently they make me look a little bit older. which is fine, as i'm nearly 32 and still carded for cigarettes.

"i need my grenades. we should have more of them."
"wow, i'm useless."

this might be the LONGEST blog post i've done in a while, simply because i have not much to do while these crazy kids play with their newfangled technological devices.

what do you all think of this?

for those who do believe that jesus was the son of god, that he was the messiah, would the discover of not only his tomb, but also the tomb of his wife and child, change that for them? i don't know why it should, because do his mortal acts diminish his teachings that people follow (or claim to)? i've seen a few things in the google referring to james cameron wanting to tear down christianity, but i guess i'm lost as to why that would happen.

and i'm not a practicing christian in any way, which is why i can think such things and not fear a burning eternity in hell.

i remember when "the last temptation of christ" was released and there was a sign at our local movie theater stating that they would not be showing the movie. why? i think enough people in minot bitched about it being absurd and wrong, the mere IDEA that jesus wanted a life outside of being the messiah, that he had, you know, URGES. (i maintain that people were put off by harvey keitel's rendition of Judas as though he was from the bronx.)

so is that why this whole tomb business is rubbing everyone the wrong way? would it be impossible for people to believe -- nay -- stomach the idea of their messiah, their SAVIOR, as an ordinary man? if the majority of christians still prefer to see their paintings of jesus as a blond-haired, blue-eyed man, how in the HELL will this ever be acceptable?

"why don't you die?"
"cause i'm full of magic right now."
"i swear to god, i threw three grenades at your face, and you were fine."

what? my battery on this laptop is low already? damn pcs.