Tuesday, October 27, 2009

nothing good can come from my this lint out of my brain right now ...

... but maybe just getting the lint out will be a good thing. it's one of those weirdo nights where nothing really is getting to me, then suddenly my head is all clunky on the inside and i keep forgetting that sometimes fall can really fuck me up for no other reason than i'm sprained. not broken, but definitely sprained. and it's just some bullshit that my head needs to wash out, so i take a shower to relax and isolate myself and i realize that i'm lathering and lathering and lathering and GUESS WHAT -- no amount of lather will wash away the fact that sometimes i am uncomfortable in my brain and in my body and in the jeans i was wearing and in the shirt i had on and nothing feels right nothing fits right just can't seem to wash it right off and start over with brand new skin and a brand new brain.

then after i type a bunch (see above) and i picture funny things -- dustin with the hood of oskar's frog costume on his head while he was eating a pear, abbey doing her soup dance, oskar pretending to sleep while in the car. i'm better. i'm back again. i'm myself again. sometimes i just need a little maintenance. so thanks for that, blogger.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

Been there. For me, I can't be comfortable in my own skin, and no matter how I sit, where I sit, if I lie down or stand up, I can't be comfortable and feel like jumping out of my own skin. I chalked it up to anxiety attacks, but they've decreased since college. Hang in there.