Monday, October 15, 2007

i've been...

... tied to my email account all day. while doing other things i'm constantly checking to see if there is any news, when really i need to realize there isn't going to be anything i don't already know.

it's as though i keep checking it in the hopes that it will say "JUST KIDDING" or "IT WAS A MISTAKE" or "THIS WHOLE DAY WAS JUST ONE LONG, HORRIBLE FUCKING NIGHTMARE."

and i know this is not the truth, but i still hit the "refresh" button on my browser, because just maybe, JUST MAYBE my wishful thinking will pay off and i'll know that one of the best people to ever walk this planet will still be here.

and i know i'm not the only one grieving -- the fact that there are so many of us who are missing him so much really says something about him as a person. that doesn't make it any easier to breathe when i think about never seeing him again, but it does make me realize how very lucky i was to call him my friend.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's been a long time, Kari. Such nice words for such a wonderful guy. I came across this doing the same thing. Searching, looking for anything to disprove it. I was and still am in shock. You never realize how much you miss someone til they're gone. *hugs*

Tracy (Belgarde) Green

Anonymous said...

Kari,

Your words make me laugh and cry. I totally agree with the "JUST KIDDING" part. Bram was the kind of guy that would pull this sort of stunt. Get us all together, watch us being sad and walk in and say "what's everybody doing here?" It will take a long time to get over this sad news.

Kami (Johnson) Komm

Nicole said...

Kari,

I heard the awful news and was searching around to find out what Bram had been up to recently, just remembering what a cool guy he was. I love that last message from him you posted. And I love the early blog writings you linked to. Thanks a lot for that.

Nicole Gresham