Wednesday, October 17, 2007

my agenda today.

i need to do housework. NEED. no, i don't think you understand...i NEED to get stuff cleaned up. i'm not sobbing uncontrollably right now, therefore i need to tidy up while i'm still able. and yet i'm not tidying up. i'm blogging. i truly am the great procrastinator.

this is our third overcast day in a row. i normally really like weather like this, but this just feels.... yeah.

sometimes people imagine what they would do if someone close to them dies -- not something we LIKE to do, but that pops into our heads, as if to plan how to cope with that. i can honestly say that i never had that thought about bram, b/c i simply assumed that he'd outlive us all -- when someone had energy like he had, it's inconceivable that this happens.

maybe that's why it's been so hard to do anything other than sit on this couch, facing this computer monitor and occasionally look out our big picture window that has shown the exact same grey overcast sky since monday morning.

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