Tuesday, October 16, 2007

seeking out some normalcy...

did i spell the word "normalcy" correctly? (dictionary.com says "yes.") i'm doing laundry. loading up my ipod with different music. enjoying how my dog manages to move a pillow around so that it's under her head, just like people do. there's a couple of cats scrappin' in the hallway. i'm taking in the normal things in my house, trying to just get on some sort of even keel.

trying not to fixate on things like how i can't find that picture of bram when he was sleeping on little mermaid sheets at my parent's house, or how unfair it is that there are parents who have to bury their child -- something no parent should ever have to do. or how sad it is that michele and bram didn't get to grow old together, that bram never got to play with grandchildren.

i think it just comes down to the fact that there's so much that is upsetting about this, it's going to take a long time to come to terms with it. and even after that point, i think many of us will still feel as though a part of us is missing.

1 comment:

Jege (Jen) said...

For this I have no words....just a giant virtual hug, and the fleeting, transparent memories of Amy, You and Bram...I don't even know when or where, since I was the oh-so-cool, aloof, fuckhead older sister, but I remember Bram.
It's things like this that make me simultaneously feel like there is no god[slash]some higher power that MUST know what she/he/it is doing, taking someone so dear to my Karicita...but fucking-A, WHY?!!!!!! Why.

Love ya, Karicita. Dust, Abbey, hold your wife/mom tight and just be there for her.