Saturday, January 14, 2006

cramps? sign me up!

i'd like my uterus removed until further notice, thank you very much.

also, if you've not eaten in a couple of days and you suddenly crave pizza that is a few days old, i'd steer clear. yeah. i'll be feeling this for the better part of today.

i've been thinking a lot on the topic of self-destructive behavior. being BPD, i feel as though i am a professional self-saboteur. i have fucked up some of the best things in my life due to those charming destructive tendencies. oh, the stories is could tell... i think the one that sticks out in my head most is one boy telling me he loved me one night, and i went home with someone else. why? b/c i was scared, b/c i knew that i loved him and for fuck's sake, did i deserve to be happy? HELL NO.

what is YOUR favorite self-sabotage story? don't hold back, sharing it good!

4 comments:

Ashley said...

I consider having my uterus removed at least once a month. At least you got some use out of yours (the tot). Sometimes I think I need a tot of my own to justify the pain and suffering. Otherwise, it would have just been a cruel part of life. Right?

My suggestion for tonight: Call a babysitter and go out for a couple of vodka tonics.

Cheers!

Jege (Jen) said...

Oh man, I have SO many self-destructive stories to tell....let me think about it and get back to you.

Crystal said...

ha. i gave myself a hickey on the arm once when i was 7 and then told my mom that the neighborhood boy did it just so she would think i was getting play, but i got grounded instead. is that self-destruction?

Rod said...

Any time i spent in any kind of therapy i spent manipulating doctors, psychologists, etc.
none of them had any better insights than what i already could provide myself
essentially i was much more smarter than them and was pissed that none were smart enough to figure me out, so i started toying with them

howzat for self-destructive?

P.S. This did happen long before 'Good Will Hunting'
and no, i never did find my Dr. Robin Williams